10 Things you Didn't Know about Men
Considering about 90% of my flist so far is female, I figure this might be of interest. Most women's magazines like Cosmo desperately need to start contacting us in the men's fashion/sex mag world -- a lot of what appears in those magazines is 100% bullshit. Here are 10 things you might not necessarily know about guys:
- The average male penis size ranges from approximately 5-6", which is perfectly sufficient. For the average woman to get pleasure, it requires 3". Most issues regarding stuff like this tend to not be the guy's size as much as it is a combination of his ineptitude, (lack of) girth, and stupidity. Most men need to be taught to prioritize foreplay, at least initially, before these issues clear up. Yes, guys are very insecure about this, I get at least an e-mail a week from some guy devastated about his goddamn cock.
- You may be offended, but yes, most guys who you consider "friends" want to date/fuck you, ESPECIALLY if they do things for you without reason. What you're doing with them (having them as just a friend) is pejoratively termed "friend zoning" by guys, and they hate it. Remember -- if he's unusually friendly and self-sacrificing for you to the point of ridiculousness, he's probably trying halfassedly to get you in bed.
- Men's colone is literally formulated in such a way where men smell it differently. It may be an incidental sort of thing, but men smell men's cologne different than women do. If you have a male friend who smells bad, tell him -- he may smell it entirely differently and think it'd be wonderful for men. I'm always hesitant to help my buddies go cologne shopping for this very reason.
- Want a guy to lose weight for you? Have him prioritize weight lifting with intermittent bouts of HIIT cardio. All the poor fat guys in the gym could use it. Weight lifting for men turns your metabolism into a fucking inferno. A lot of chubby guys would be remarkably good looking if they only had the muscle that their body is desperately wanting/preparing for.
- A six pack does not come from being fit as much as it does from loss of body fat percentage. Men store fat on their stomachs first, meaning a six pack indicates under 6% BF. The issue, of course, is this is near impossible to maintain constantly, because while under about 10%, muscle growth is HIGHLY inhibited. If you're wondering why Taylor Lautner looks so buff in Twilight, it's because he bulked up (meaning he ate to get up to 15% or so), weight lifted hard, and then lost the fat that surrounded his new muscles. Anyone under 150lbs or so with a six pack just happens to have one because they are serendipitously skinny, not because they are fit. If a guy has a "four pack" like I do at the moment (7%-15% BF), it means he's going for muscle development. Guys usually go in cycles -- bulking (putting on weight and muscle) and cutting (losing fat, keeping muscle).
- If it makes you feel any better (or if you want a laugh), a lot of the methods that guidos like those on Jersey Shore use to look all ripped (ECA stacking, Testosterone, Steroids, etc etc) fuck up their ability to have sex properly. Of note, ECA stacking for dieting (don't ask, it's dangerous unless you know what you're doing) will prevent most guys from having a full erection. I can vouch for this personally, it's a fucking depressing feeling. Steroids/Test don't make your dick smaller as some people say, but they can mess with your abilities.
- The "black men have bigger penises" thing is a myth going back to the English slave trade. Long story short, African men tend to be "showers" (about as big flaccid as they are erect) and English men tend to be "growers" (2x/3x larger when hard), which bothered a lot of English men. Compound this with the fact a lot of the English were fat (which made their penises look smaller) and you had a pretty big disconnect. There are actually ancient documents trying to explain this by calling African penises "barbaric" and talking about how they "abused" the vagina, or something like that. English slaveowners were insecure and afraid of their wives cheating on their fat selves. Go figure.
- Want to identify someone who is using a "pick up artist" book? Look for three things: Negging, Peacocking, and Kino (not my words, words from the books). Negging is deriding you and trying to make you feel unimportant so you try harder and feel unworthy of the guy's attention. Peacocking is a guy using an outfit, cards, or some other object of interest to get your attention and keep you focused (one book even advises guys carry a man-purse full of shit like tarot cards and magic tricks). Kino is physical touching, and it's usually done in specific sexually-laced areas (lower small of the back, thighs, neck, etc). Some, but not all, books advise using pick-up lines. In any case, stay away from these guys, as the books teach them to be misogynistic sex fiends who aim for 5+ girlfriends at once.
- While a lot of the neckberded drooling Maxim crowd will argue otherwise, if you want to make a guy interested in you, "less is more" is not a good dress plan. Excessive cleavage exposure, wearing shit like a bikini, and cheap lingerie are all really kinda trashy ways to turn a guy on. This is not to say it can't sometimes be hot, but try to be a bit classier about it. You have no idea the power vested in a tight sweater, a pencil skirt, or a slim fitting (not baggy empire waist) dress.
- The true reason why a lot of guys kinda look shitty in clothing nowadays is that men's clothiers have made a decided drop in the quality of their cuts. While women's clothing continues to focus on fit, menswear nowadays is cut remarkably square. I have an inverted V body shape (huge shoulders, small waist), and I have to get everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) tailored. Even top tier RTW brands like Brooks Brothers suck at this -- "slim fit" usually just means "kinda more like a rectangle than a square".