Not sure what the problem is
So LJ updated its formatting today. That shouldn't be the end of the world! How come nobody is posting anything? Anyway, here are some "smart jokes" from Reddit:
What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.
How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb? None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Why was epsilon afraid of zeta? Because zeta eta theta.
Did you hear about the guy who froze himself to absolute zero? He is 0K now.
Why stand in the corner when you're cold? Because a corner is about ninety degrees.
Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 is Dec 25.
Why are flights to Poland only boarded on 1 side? Because poles in the right side of the plane are unstable.
Pavlov is sitting at a bar when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.
A dog goes to a telegram office, takes out a blank form and writes, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replies, “that would make no sense at all.”
Paddy leaves Ireland and gets an interview for a building job in the city. The interviewer says "Look Paddy, no offence but we've had some dumb pricks applying for this, so I've gotta give you a little test. Paddy says "OK shoot" "What's the difference between a girder and a joist?" asks the interviewer. Paddy hesitates, scratches his head. The interviewer looks pointedly at his wristwatch, waiting. "No, no, wait" says Paddy. "I have it...... Girder wrote Faust and Joist wrote Ullyses!"
One day my girlfriend asked me if she was pretty. I told her "you're definitely a 6". Now I don't have a girlfriend... I tried to explain that 6 is perfect, but she was never one to understand number theory.
What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.
How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb? None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Why was epsilon afraid of zeta? Because zeta eta theta.
Did you hear about the guy who froze himself to absolute zero? He is 0K now.
Why stand in the corner when you're cold? Because a corner is about ninety degrees.
Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 is Dec 25.
Why are flights to Poland only boarded on 1 side? Because poles in the right side of the plane are unstable.
Pavlov is sitting at a bar when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.
A dog goes to a telegram office, takes out a blank form and writes, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replies, “that would make no sense at all.”
Paddy leaves Ireland and gets an interview for a building job in the city. The interviewer says "Look Paddy, no offence but we've had some dumb pricks applying for this, so I've gotta give you a little test. Paddy says "OK shoot" "What's the difference between a girder and a joist?" asks the interviewer. Paddy hesitates, scratches his head. The interviewer looks pointedly at his wristwatch, waiting. "No, no, wait" says Paddy. "I have it...... Girder wrote Faust and Joist wrote Ullyses!"
One day my girlfriend asked me if she was pretty. I told her "you're definitely a 6". Now I don't have a girlfriend... I tried to explain that 6 is perfect, but she was never one to understand number theory.