Teen Girl Squad meme
1. Had sex? Yes - I have two children!
2. Bought Condoms? Yes.
3. Gotten somebody Pregnant? Yes - same girl both times.
4. Failed A Class? Yes - I got an "incomplete" in Cryptography when I was in grad school, which is what caused me to take that job at Company ℱ.
5. Kissed A Boy? Yes.
6. Kissed A Girl? Yes.
7. Used A Little Paper Bag for Lunch? Yes - they were a dark purple colour, for some reason.
8. Had A Job? Yes - several.
9. Slipped On Ice? Yes, but no hospitalizations.
10. Missed The School Bus? Often.
11. Fucked a girl? Yes - see question #3.
12. Bullied Someone On The Internet? I have made people feel bad from time to time.
13. Sexted? I do not "text".
14. Sex In Public? No.
15. Played On A Sports Team? Only in gym class.
16. Smoked Weed? Yes.
17. Smoked Cigarettes? Yes.
18. Smoked A Cigar? Yes.
19. Drank Alcohol? Yes.
20. Watched porn? Yes.
21. Skipped class? Yes.
22. Gotten Arrested? No.
23. Done meth? No, unless somebody slipped me some and I somehow didn't notice.
24. Been To A Wedding? Several, including my own.
25. Fell in love with a best friend? What is "love"?
26. Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? I generally get up for a stretch every hour or so.
27. Watched TV For 5 Hours Straight? Ditto.
28. Been Late For Work? Often.
29. Been Late For School? Often.
30. Kissed In The Rain? Maybe.
31. Showered With Someone Else? Yes.
32. Failed My Drivers Test? No.
33. Cheated on a ex? If they're an "ex", how can you cheat on them?
34. Been Outside My Home Country? Mexico and the Netherlands. Oh and Canada in 2002, when it wasn't my "home country" yet.
35. Been On A Road Trip Longer Than 5 Hours? Yes.
36. Had Lice? No.
37. Gotten My Heart Broken? It continues to pump the blood around.
38. Had A Credit Card? Yes, but the chip is no longer working so I have to get a new one.
39. Been To A Professional Sports Game? I've been to parking-lot tailgate parties at my alma mater, but didn't actually watch the game. I've watched someone else's kids play hockey on a house team, which isn't "professional".
40. Broken A Bone? Never got it diagnosed, but my toes act like they've been broken one or more times.
41. Am I Straight/Bi/Gay/Lesbian? Yes.
42. Won A Trophy? No.
43. Cut Myself Unintentionally? Yes.
44. Had An STD.? According to Urban Dictionary, this could mean "Somewhat Tasty Doughnuts" (yes) or "Smirnoff Triple Distilled" (no) or "Spontaneous Torrential Diarrhea" (no) or "Save the Date" (a card that announces that an RSVP will be coming later - I think I might once have gotten such a thing) or "Something To Do" (yes, I've had those)
45. Got Engaged? Yes.
46. Done ecstasy? Apparently it's called "thizz" nowadays. I just learned that moments ago by looking up what "STD" can stand for.
47. Tried Out To Be On A TV Show? No.
48. Rode In A Taxi? Yes. I'd rather walk.
49. Been To Prom? No.
50. Played A Drinking Game? Yes. Beer tastes much better after you plunk a quarter into it!
51. Stayed Up For 24 Hours Or More? Probably not since grad school, when I went to a "24-hour bad sci-fi movie marathon".
52. Been To A Concert? Yes.
53. Had A Three-Some? No, although my family dog apparently wants to.
54. Had A Crush On Someone Of The Same Sex? Is that a wrestling move? I do not wrestle.
55. Been In A Car Accident? Yes.
56. Had Braces? Yes.
57. Learned Another Language? No, although I studied Russian for seven years, Hebrew for four, French for one, and a smattering of others (Italian, Bulgarian, Spanish, Arabic, etc.) for even shorter periods of time. But I can't converse in any of those languages.
58. Killed An Animal? Yes, I once watched a shrew's death-throes after my mousetrap was successful on it. Somewhat sickening.
59. Been At A Yard Sale? Yes, but didn't make as much money as hoped.
60. Been To A Japanese Steakhouse? No, just sushi.
61. Wore Make Up? No.
62. Talked To Someone Via Webcam? Yes, some fellow homeschoolers who had moved away.
63. Lost My Virginity Before I Was 16? No. Why does only this question have an age limit?
64. Had My Wisdom Teeth Taken Out? Just one of them. I still have it in a plastic baggie.
65. Kissed Someone A Different Race Than Myself? No.
66. Snuck Out Of The House? Yes.
67. Bought Porn? Maybe once, but really there's no need - the world is full of free stuff!
68. Had A Virus On My Computer? I use Linux.
69. Had Oral Sex? Yes.
70. Dyed My Hair? No.
71. Gone Skinny Dipping? Yes.
72. Graduated From College? Yes.
73. Wore Someone Else’s Clothes? Yes.
74. Voted In A Presidential Election? Yes.
75. Rode In An Ambulance? Yes.
76. Rode In A Helicopter? No.
77. Caught The Stove On Fire? Stoves are made of metal and such, to try to make it impossible to catch them on fire.
78. Got In A Verbal Fight? Yes.
79. Met Someone Famous? "Famous" is a relative term.
80. Been On Vacation? Yes.
82. Been On A Boat? Yes.
81. Been On An Airplane? Yes, but not since 9/11/2001.
83. Broken Something Expensive? Yes.
84. Had Surgery? Yes.
85. Beat A Video Game? Yes, but the game's storage media was undented.
86. Found Something Valuable On The Ground? Yes.
87. Made A Survey? Yes.
88. Stalked Someone On A Social Network? "Stalking" is in the eye of the beholder, so maybe somebody once thought that of me.
89. Prank Called Someone? No.
90. Been To A Library Outside Of School? Yes. I used to like books, but the Internet is better.
91. Spent Over $100 Shopping In One Day? This happens often when buying groceries for a family of four.
92. Cut My Hair And Hated It? Nope, didn't hate it.
93. Peed Outside? Yes - this is normal male functionality.
94. Went Fishing? I've been along with other peoples' fishing trips.
95. Helped With Charity? Sort of maybe.
96. Taken A Pregnancy Test? Not using my own pee, no.
97. Been Rejected By A Crush? More like "they didn't even realize I was trying to get their attention".
98. Been Suspended From School? No.
99. Broken a mirror? Yes. The "seven years' back luck" thing is only if you're a servant wench in some aristocrat's household.
100. Thrown up on someone? Maybe.
101. Lied to your parents? Yes. Sometimes it's just too difficult to tell someone a truth they really don't want to hear.
2. Bought Condoms? Yes.
3. Gotten somebody Pregnant? Yes - same girl both times.
4. Failed A Class? Yes - I got an "incomplete" in Cryptography when I was in grad school, which is what caused me to take that job at Company ℱ.
5. Kissed A Boy? Yes.
6. Kissed A Girl? Yes.
7. Used A Little Paper Bag for Lunch? Yes - they were a dark purple colour, for some reason.
8. Had A Job? Yes - several.
9. Slipped On Ice? Yes, but no hospitalizations.
10. Missed The School Bus? Often.
11. Fucked a girl? Yes - see question #3.
12. Bullied Someone On The Internet? I have made people feel bad from time to time.
13. Sexted? I do not "text".
14. Sex In Public? No.
15. Played On A Sports Team? Only in gym class.
16. Smoked Weed? Yes.
17. Smoked Cigarettes? Yes.
18. Smoked A Cigar? Yes.
19. Drank Alcohol? Yes.
20. Watched porn? Yes.
21. Skipped class? Yes.
22. Gotten Arrested? No.
23. Done meth? No, unless somebody slipped me some and I somehow didn't notice.
24. Been To A Wedding? Several, including my own.
25. Fell in love with a best friend? What is "love"?
26. Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? I generally get up for a stretch every hour or so.
27. Watched TV For 5 Hours Straight? Ditto.
28. Been Late For Work? Often.
29. Been Late For School? Often.
30. Kissed In The Rain? Maybe.
31. Showered With Someone Else? Yes.
32. Failed My Drivers Test? No.
33. Cheated on a ex? If they're an "ex", how can you cheat on them?
34. Been Outside My Home Country? Mexico and the Netherlands. Oh and Canada in 2002, when it wasn't my "home country" yet.
35. Been On A Road Trip Longer Than 5 Hours? Yes.
36. Had Lice? No.
37. Gotten My Heart Broken? It continues to pump the blood around.
38. Had A Credit Card? Yes, but the chip is no longer working so I have to get a new one.
39. Been To A Professional Sports Game? I've been to parking-lot tailgate parties at my alma mater, but didn't actually watch the game. I've watched someone else's kids play hockey on a house team, which isn't "professional".
40. Broken A Bone? Never got it diagnosed, but my toes act like they've been broken one or more times.
41. Am I Straight/Bi/Gay/Lesbian? Yes.
42. Won A Trophy? No.
43. Cut Myself Unintentionally? Yes.
44. Had An STD.? According to Urban Dictionary, this could mean "Somewhat Tasty Doughnuts" (yes) or "Smirnoff Triple Distilled" (no) or "Spontaneous Torrential Diarrhea" (no) or "Save the Date" (a card that announces that an RSVP will be coming later - I think I might once have gotten such a thing) or "Something To Do" (yes, I've had those)
45. Got Engaged? Yes.
46. Done ecstasy? Apparently it's called "thizz" nowadays. I just learned that moments ago by looking up what "STD" can stand for.
47. Tried Out To Be On A TV Show? No.
48. Rode In A Taxi? Yes. I'd rather walk.
49. Been To Prom? No.
50. Played A Drinking Game? Yes. Beer tastes much better after you plunk a quarter into it!
51. Stayed Up For 24 Hours Or More? Probably not since grad school, when I went to a "24-hour bad sci-fi movie marathon".
52. Been To A Concert? Yes.
53. Had A Three-Some? No, although my family dog apparently wants to.
54. Had A Crush On Someone Of The Same Sex? Is that a wrestling move? I do not wrestle.
55. Been In A Car Accident? Yes.
56. Had Braces? Yes.
57. Learned Another Language? No, although I studied Russian for seven years, Hebrew for four, French for one, and a smattering of others (Italian, Bulgarian, Spanish, Arabic, etc.) for even shorter periods of time. But I can't converse in any of those languages.
58. Killed An Animal? Yes, I once watched a shrew's death-throes after my mousetrap was successful on it. Somewhat sickening.
59. Been At A Yard Sale? Yes, but didn't make as much money as hoped.
60. Been To A Japanese Steakhouse? No, just sushi.
61. Wore Make Up? No.
62. Talked To Someone Via Webcam? Yes, some fellow homeschoolers who had moved away.
63. Lost My Virginity Before I Was 16? No. Why does only this question have an age limit?
64. Had My Wisdom Teeth Taken Out? Just one of them. I still have it in a plastic baggie.
65. Kissed Someone A Different Race Than Myself? No.
66. Snuck Out Of The House? Yes.
67. Bought Porn? Maybe once, but really there's no need - the world is full of free stuff!
68. Had A Virus On My Computer? I use Linux.
69. Had Oral Sex? Yes.
70. Dyed My Hair? No.
71. Gone Skinny Dipping? Yes.
72. Graduated From College? Yes.
73. Wore Someone Else’s Clothes? Yes.
74. Voted In A Presidential Election? Yes.
75. Rode In An Ambulance? Yes.
76. Rode In A Helicopter? No.
77. Caught The Stove On Fire? Stoves are made of metal and such, to try to make it impossible to catch them on fire.
78. Got In A Verbal Fight? Yes.
79. Met Someone Famous? "Famous" is a relative term.
80. Been On Vacation? Yes.
82. Been On A Boat? Yes.
81. Been On An Airplane? Yes, but not since 9/11/2001.
83. Broken Something Expensive? Yes.
84. Had Surgery? Yes.
85. Beat A Video Game? Yes, but the game's storage media was undented.
86. Found Something Valuable On The Ground? Yes.
87. Made A Survey? Yes.
88. Stalked Someone On A Social Network? "Stalking" is in the eye of the beholder, so maybe somebody once thought that of me.
89. Prank Called Someone? No.
90. Been To A Library Outside Of School? Yes. I used to like books, but the Internet is better.
91. Spent Over $100 Shopping In One Day? This happens often when buying groceries for a family of four.
92. Cut My Hair And Hated It? Nope, didn't hate it.
93. Peed Outside? Yes - this is normal male functionality.
94. Went Fishing? I've been along with other peoples' fishing trips.
95. Helped With Charity? Sort of maybe.
96. Taken A Pregnancy Test? Not using my own pee, no.
97. Been Rejected By A Crush? More like "they didn't even realize I was trying to get their attention".
98. Been Suspended From School? No.
99. Broken a mirror? Yes. The "seven years' back luck" thing is only if you're a servant wench in some aristocrat's household.
100. Thrown up on someone? Maybe.
101. Lied to your parents? Yes. Sometimes it's just too difficult to tell someone a truth they really don't want to hear.