Last word
Everything is changing, yet everything remains the same.
I made my livejournal in 9th grade to tell all of my internet friends what I did the previous weekend. I don't really know why I did this, or why anyone did, or why it even became a fad in the first place.
But for some reason it was the cool thing to do, and I never felt the need to delete this, even though I haven't used it since last summer, and before that the previous summer.
So I decided I'd use it one more time.
We're all in the stage of monumental change right now. We're all packing up our rooms and taking posters off the walls. Some of us are headed to different cities, some of us down the road. But we're all going somewhere. A lot of us are headed to a brand new place with brand new people to make brand new friends. We're leaving people behind and moving ourselves forward.
However I'm secure in the fact that even as my life makes the most drastic change since puberty, nothing is changing. Whether it boils down to the fact that the four of us are all unable to let go of what we have or if it's just the simple fact that we're too damn close to say goodbye (or possibly a combination of the two), there is something extremely bittersweet about saying goodbye to high school, alpharetta, adolescence, and everything this period in my life represents.
Today Brendan, David, Josh, and I all moved in. Or began to if we're being realistic.
Our apartment is comprised of an empty living room, empty dining room, empty kitchen with an empty refrigerator that has an undeniable problem with making ice, empty bedrooms, and a gigantic patio that can only be sparred being called empty because of the ash tray that sits on the floor. It's a long complicated process and a slap in the face from reality that screams "You're an adult now, and you're on your own" and drills it into you. Rent, deposits, bills, and the comfort and discomfort in knowing there's no bedroom for your parents down the hall. It's independence personified into a big apartment that you have the responsibility of paying for and living in.
It brings me back to freshman year, it brings me back to screaming Taking Back Sunday in the car with the windows down on countless occasions over the past 4 years. It brings me back to Josh and I talking about our friendship and him explaining that he was sure we'd all be friends until college comes around, which brings a smile to my face about how wrong he was.
But most of all it brings me back to all the fantasies and ideas I envisioned for myself as a kid about what life after high school would be like. I had a distinct image of myself in a small dorm room with strangers at an ivy leage-esque school.
And I've never been more happy to say this isn't at all how I imagined it.
I look forward to the coming year, the coming 12 months that the lease we signed has already acknowledged. I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm everything at the same time.
Life has a way of falling into place for everything, I have friends that I would have sworn only existed in TV shows, I have a girl who I feel more strongly about than I knew was possible and a relationship that I convinced myself was only realistic in John Cusack's 80s movies, and I have an apartment that is desperately empty, and begging to be filled.
And throughout all of it I have the three greatest friends, roommates, whatever synonym for family you can come up with. The same friends that have had my back since I wore the same Cursive hoodie everyday and painted my nails black.
So like I said, everything is changing, yet everything remains the same.
Goodnight, and good luck, I mean it in every way possible.