(no subject)
why can't everything just be fucking normal. why do I have to have such a fucked up life. I fucking hate it. I hate having to pretend I'm fine, nothing is wrong with me, I just randomly go into a deep depression that can last for 10 seconds or 10 days. who the fuck knows. why do I even bother, I'm not ever going to be anything. No one really likes me, I'm alone. I always have been always will be. I just want to go away. why can't I be normal, why can't I make friends instantaniously like my sisters. what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm the oldest I'm not suppost to be jealous of them they are suppost to be of me. I just so fucked up. I don't know who I am, where i'm suppost to go, what I'm suppost to do. I'm just a lost cause and a waste of space. I dont' even know why I'm writing this here. no one is going to respond. no one gives a fuck. I could go away forever right now and no one would even notice. I am nothing. and no one cares. why do I even try anymore. why do I even bother. I hate me. I just wnat to go away, stop this. I don't even know what this is, but I wnat it to end. make it all go away. I just want to be normal, at this point I'd settle for liked. what is wrong with me. what is so wrong with me. why does no one like me, what is so horrid about me that people wont gome near me. why am I so empty, I shouldn't be empty. what is wrong with me. I just want it to go away