PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Dear Stalinists, Fellow Gayniggers, and Fucking Heebs,
It has come to my attention that the following was in Melissa "I'm an ugly, hairy bitch" "Darth" Vater's profile:
Finals are like boys...
1. they're hard to understand
2. you might get the urge to cheat on them
3. some are harder than others
4. they put pressure on you to perform well
5. they were created to make our lives hell
6. you can work for hours and still get no satisfaction
7. some take longer to finish than others
8. you always have 3 or 4 at a time
9. some aren't as big as you had expected
10. they're much easier to do when you're drunk because you just don't care
The thing I'm curious about is how Melissa knows most of the things on there, being that she's a repulsive blubber-moster with more fur than Bigfoot. I don't think people like her who will undoubtedly never get laid or even have a serious boyfriend should be allowed to put sexually-orientated stuff in their profiles, because in essence, its lying, a crime Melissa obviously has no qualms about (along with being hideously disgusting and walking out in public without a mask on.) And while a lot of things come to mind that you've had 3 or 4 of at a time (Hostess snacks, triple cheeseburgers, permanent bans from buffets, unused razors), boys is definitely not one of them.
When reached for comment, Andjew had this to say: "Being close to Melissa at your party was probably one of the worst experiences of my life, right next to being raped by Shaq and having to watch Bring It On. If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought it was a really fat dude I was sitting next to, or a wooly mammoth. The stink cloud coming from between her cellulite-ridden legs was enough to make me gag...I could practically taste the unwashed beef curtains."
Fuck you Melissa.
It has come to my attention that the following was in Melissa "I'm an ugly, hairy bitch" "Darth" Vater's profile:
Finals are like boys...
1. they're hard to understand
2. you might get the urge to cheat on them
3. some are harder than others
4. they put pressure on you to perform well
5. they were created to make our lives hell
6. you can work for hours and still get no satisfaction
7. some take longer to finish than others
8. you always have 3 or 4 at a time
9. some aren't as big as you had expected
10. they're much easier to do when you're drunk because you just don't care
The thing I'm curious about is how Melissa knows most of the things on there, being that she's a repulsive blubber-moster with more fur than Bigfoot. I don't think people like her who will undoubtedly never get laid or even have a serious boyfriend should be allowed to put sexually-orientated stuff in their profiles, because in essence, its lying, a crime Melissa obviously has no qualms about (along with being hideously disgusting and walking out in public without a mask on.) And while a lot of things come to mind that you've had 3 or 4 of at a time (Hostess snacks, triple cheeseburgers, permanent bans from buffets, unused razors), boys is definitely not one of them.
When reached for comment, Andjew had this to say: "Being close to Melissa at your party was probably one of the worst experiences of my life, right next to being raped by Shaq and having to watch Bring It On. If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought it was a really fat dude I was sitting next to, or a wooly mammoth. The stink cloud coming from between her cellulite-ridden legs was enough to make me gag...I could practically taste the unwashed beef curtains."
Fuck you Melissa.