Riddle 021: Angel Aftermath

[puzzlerprince]

[Well, Edward's back from Westport, and he's definitely a little worse for the wear. This hasn't exactly been a very fun couple of days for him. As soon as he gets home, he shrugs off his coat, hangs his hat and his cane on the rack, and makes his way to the phone.]

[Public Call, standard filters in play]This is Edward Nigma. I'm... back from

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[hungry_monster]

[Eating an apple in your kitchen. Need new locks bro.]

Your riddles need a little work.

[puzzlerprince]

[Edward just fixes him with an incredibly sullen look. Johan in his kitchen isn't scary anymore so much as it is just obnoxious.]

[hungry_monster]

[Clearly he needs to fix this. Or you know, just continue to eat the apple. That works too.]

[puzzlerprince]

...excuse me.

[Brushing past Johan to get to the fridge. Maybe he'll make pasta.]

[hungry_monster]

Of course.

[Oh I wouldn't recommend that....

Okay not really but someday, poison.]

Enjoy your stay?

[puzzlerprince]

Hardly.

[Getting a bunch of stuff---shells, sauce, etc.---out of the refrigerator and setting it down on the counter.]

What exactly happened here in my absence?

[hungry_monster]

Statues were attacking people.

[Watching you set the things out. There was something else about a certain doctor showing up. But that's not any of your business.]

It became quite chaotic.

[And he was too distracted to enjoy it properly.]

[puzzlerprince]

Hmm. I'd like to say I was lucky to have missed out on it, but---

[He's interrupted by the sound of his stomach growling. Getting a pot out from the cabinet beneath the counter now.]

I trust you were able to keep yourself in one piece.

[hungry_monster]

Didn't have much to eat there?

Hm? Oh, we managed.

[Just getting up. Leaving? Like you're that lucky.]

[puzzlerprince]

No food. Hardly anything to drink, either.

[But yeah, he notices you getting up. The following question is fairly sardonic.]

Going so soon?

[hungry_monster]

Of course not. I thought you might like some help.

[Smile, don't you want to have your sociopathic stalker help with the food? No? Shame that.]

[puzzlerprince]

...what are you scheming?

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[hungry_monster]

[Taking a pot from the drawer.]

Well I wouldn't call it scheming.

[puzzlerprince]

What would you call it, then?

[hungry_monster]

I believe most people call it cooking.

[puzzlerprince]

[Johan Liebert? Helping Edward cook? ...well. He's too exhausted to deal with his stalker right now. Might as well make the most of it.]

Fill that up about two-thirds with water, will you?