Tough night
Last night was pretty tough. Sara's party was fun but then afterwards I had to go to my aunts wake and it was so hard. I don't do funerals...I started crying in the car on the way there. None of my cousins or siblings went so it was just me which made it really tough. And then i started crying when i saw my mom and then I had to say a prayer in front of my aunt. She looked so peaceful and beautiful. And then I was sitting down and my aunt mare came over to me and asked how i was and i just lost it....I hate crying. I can never imagine not having my mom or dad around. And if I ever had to go to their funeral I would die from crying. And I hated it last night because people kept asking me if I was ok..NO i'm not! and I shouldn't be the one that they are asking. That'd be the toughest part if I lost someone and was at their funeral but it was someone like a sister or parent, and people would come up to me and say sorry. I think i'd tell people not to. Tomorrow is the actual funeral but i'm not going. 1-I couldn't handle it 2-my mom won't let me miss school. I'm still so upset. I have little crying outbreaks throughout the day so don't be surprised if I cry tomorrow in school. I wish I had never said anything mean to my mom or dad. It's times like these when you realize how important people are to you. Work went by really fast today. I had a really good cup of hot cider. Matt is so funny. I can't believe christmas is so soon. I'm not in the spirit and I'm not ready. Christmas was always the best. I loved it..I was soo christmas crazy. my sister is such an idiot sometimes. I have so much stuff to do. Kohls is really good to shop at at 11 o clock saturday night. Stuff was sooo cheap it was great!