[Closed/Ongoing] In the night sky, we'll shine together, rush of light

[sixteenxseconds]

Who: Akanishi Jin (kakusanaide) and Kamenashi Kazuya (sixteenxseconds)
Where: It starts at Kazuya's place. And then, you'll see.
When: 5:50PM
Why: Because the premiere of Transformer 2 is finally here.
Rating: PG-13? Idk. Can't predict the future, you know.

Comments

[kakusanaide]

"It's..." Jin tried to say something to refute, but words seemed to die in his throat. He couldn't say it; Kame's words had hit the bull's eyes, and it stabbed his heart, knowing that it was the truth. "It's..." Jin tried again, his fingers running across his jaw in an almost massaging manner. "It has got nothing to do with it." His eyes raised to look at Kame's. Confident. "Nothing." If he were to tell and spill the bean now, then there would be no point in all those running, wouldn't there? He couldn't say it. Not now. Not even now. Not ever. Not when all he knew was that his feelings were going to waste.

Taking a deep breath, Jin pretended to fix his cutleries and then picked up the glass of wine again, raising it slightly above the table. He swirled the dark red liquid around in his glass. "I guess I was too busy cleaning up." He left out the part that he tried to write letters - many times, he tried - but in the end, they all went into the dustbin, except for one. One that he had hid somewhere in his old house. If he told Kame now, would that make him seem weak? He bet it would.

[sixteenxseconds]

There was a small moment of relief when Jin said it had nothing to do with it, and he let out a small sigh, somewhat glad. All those years he'd thought that Jin leaving high school had to do with him. At one point, he even blamed himself for ever agreeing to do it.

"Oh." So he was too busy for him? Cleaning up was more important than him? "I see." he said, not daring to look up to meet Jin's eyes. His own eyes were so weak compared to the other's. He himself was weak compared to Jin. "If you'll excuse me for a moment." his voice trembled, and he stood up to go to the restroom, taking his steps in a calm manner even though he wanted nothing more than to make a run for it. Tears were falling down uncontrollably, and he frowned while wiping them away as quickly as he could while searching for the restroom - he didn't want to ask someone in this condition - and when he finally did, he stepped inside and rushed to the nearest sink to wash his face.

Stop crying. It's all in the past.

[kakusanaide]

It was probably his own imagination, but he could almost hear the tremble in Kame's voice, the small vibration in his words. He wasn't exactly the analytical type, but judging from Kame's words and actions, Jin had a feeling that the other wasn't going to the toilet to do the usual thing. Logically thinking, in this sort of conversation, would anyone even have the feeling to go to the toilet? He frowned slightly at the thought. Perhaps he could be thinking too much.

Deciding to just stay (he respected Kame's privacy as much as he did his) Jin sat there, silently glancing around the restaurant while taking a sip now and then from his glass of wine. Out of coincidence, he noticed a waiter peeking at their table, and that piqued Jin's interest. He kept watching for a while - totally forgetting the fact that Kame still hadn't returned - his fingers tapping slowly on the edge of his table.

[sixteenxseconds]

He glanced at his own reflection in the mirror, feeling rather pathetic for letting his emotions get the best of him. Here he was, crying like an idiot over something that happened years ago. It was time to let go of it. Why was it so hard? He wished he was stronger than this. A lot stronger. Jin was able to keep his calm (so it seemed) so why couldn't he?

Grabbing a napkin, he wiped his face from any trails of wet, hoping that it would seem as if nothing was wrong with him despite the bit of red eyes. But those were barely noticable, he thought. Besides, if he'd just smile enough, then he'd be safe.

He sighed. Now that he got the answers he'd always wanted, it was time to move on, right?

You're not alone anymore. You do not live at that orphanage anymore. Those times are over. You have it better now. Right. And with those last thoughts, he exited the restroom to go back to the table, calmly taking a seat. Looking up at Jin, he smiled - a fake one - and placed his arms on the table to lean on. "So, do you want to hear anything from me? Because I think I got the answers I wanted."

[kakusanaide]

His attention was diverted away when he saw a figure slipping into the seat in front of him, and Jin looked up to acknowledge the other's presence. Out of instinct, his eyes moved to study Kame, lingering unusually long on his face, before glancing down at the rest and then finally averting his gaze back to the table. He could feel something was wrong, suspicion arousing in his gut. But with what's going on right now, did he even have the right to be caring about Kame? Raising a hand, Jin motioned with two fingers for the waiter to come in and bring their orders, now that Kame had returned to the table.

At the question thrown at him, Jin glanced up from his dish, an eyebrow raised. Anything he wanted to hear from Kame? "Yeah." He looked back down at his food, all the while cutting up the steak nicely and taking a bite out of a piece. "That's all?" Despite his effort of trying to ignore his gut instincts, Jin still found it disturbing, especially now that he realized the lighting of the restaurant was making Kame's eyes looking a little bit puffy. Was it just his imagination?

Huh. And they say ignorance could be a bliss. This was anything but that.

[sixteenxseconds]

As soon as their orders were placed on the table, and the waiter left, Kame picked up his fork and was about to start on his fettuccine alfredo, but Jin's question made him pause his action. "I-" What caused Jin to ask that? Could it be that he failed to hide the fact that he'd cried a moment ago? "Yes, that's--" He sighed. No, that's not all. But he just wanted to forget about the whole thing already. That would seem like.. running away, wouldn't it?

"Was I important to you, back then?" The answer was obvious to him back during high school, but with everything that happened afterwards, he was doubting it. Ever since Jin had left him, he thought that the other had only used him to get what he wanted. The thought alone was horrible.

[kakusanaide]

The question caused Jin to freeze up, the only apparent movement being the finger that was slowly thumbing across his knife holder. Even his eyes were still on the plate; not widening nor blinking. There was a few seconds gap, and Jin finally raised his head then, joined along with the cluttering sound of steel meeting ceramic as he released the fork and knife unceremoniously onto the plate, the piece of steak that he was cutting was left half-cut. Incredulous couldn't even begin to describe it. What the hell was with this question? This felt worse than being dumped. Rejection, he could probably handle it but questioning his pure (considering he was pure at 16) feelings, that felt more like an insult to his ego.

Retorts were running through his mind like wild bullet trains, each filled with every single sarcasm and curses his mind could ever come up with. His jaw was working, seemingly trying to swallow the words back in before they could be spit out. Rationality, his brain was arguing (he was surprised it's working during dinner), and he knew he should keep it as the elder of the two, but hell. If Kame was asking him such irrational questions, why wasn't he allowed to throw it out of the window too? There's so many things that he wanted to say in reply, but instead, the only thing that came out, was just a simple, "Yeah. You were."

Oh, hey. That didn't come out too bad. Except for the obvious usage and emphasis on the past tense. Good job, Jin. Jeez. At least, he didn't say anything too bad that could fuel the flame. The last thing he wanted - he was sure of it - was to regret his accidental words and have Kame hating him.

[sixteenxseconds]

Kame glanced at his plate of food, trying to come up with a reply, but instead of words he only emitted a small hum. Sure, he was glad that it wasn't fake back then, but it made him a tad more confused. He frowned to himself, biting his lower lip as he stayed quiet for a moment, wanting to sort out his questions before he would throw another one that would insult Jin (or so it seemed, looking at his actions and reply).

"Did that stop at some point?" he asked, now looking up to meet Jin's eyes again. "Me being important? Because if I were important, the least you could've done was notify me of your leaving." He still didn't get it. "That you were too busy with cleaning just seems like a lame excuse." he finally admitted his thoughts instead of keeping quiet, the grip on his fork tightening a bit, feeling rather anxious. He wanted to be understandable, to be able to forget about all his doubts that he had in the past, and finally move on.

[kakusanaide]

"No." The reply had came a little bit too quick - he didn't even need to pause to think - though Jin's confidence didn't even seemed to waver in the slightest, his composure was intact and his eyes were still on Kame. In most cases like this, one would think that the person had said it out of reflex and the usual reaction would be a regretted sigh. To Jin, the answer had came in reflex alright; the only difference was that he actually meant it. Truly. There was no need to regret anything. He never stopped caring. "No." Jin repeated again, more firmly this time. He picked up his knife and fork, and started again on his forgotten steak. "I never stopped caring. Never could. And I don't think I ever will." The last sentence came in a bit softer as Jin tried to cover it up by stuffing his mouth with a piece of meat mere seconds after he finished his words.

Jin picked up his glass to drink, only to realize that it was already empty. A waiter who happened to be there, hurriedly came to refill his glass without him even asking. A nod of thanks, and he then proceeded to take the well needed sip of red wine. "The move was too abrupt and sudden. I had to settle many things." he begun, not really making eye contact as he pretended to focus on placing his wine glass down instead. "I didn't tell anyone. Only my best friend knew. And that's because he's stuck with me 24/7. It's only natural."

[sixteenxseconds]

Jin's reply came faster than he'd expected and Kame was a bit surprised by it, whether it was the answer or the fastness of it. More likely it was the latter of it; the answer was more of a relief. His eyes still set on Jin's, he kept staring, perhaps trying to read his expression, or waiting for a further explanation, or both. He wasn't all too sure, but he was waiting for something, that was sure. Thus he remained silent, until after Jin's further explanation, not once touching his food. He wasn't hungry at the moment anyway.

"I see." he said after a while with a few, slow nods, letting out a deep sigh as he finally looked away from Jin, instead settling his gaze on the table. This was it, wasn't it? Now he really had answers to everything he wanted to know. Or at least, he thought so since his mind felt lighter than before.

Though, his heart still felt a bit heavy.

Picking up his glass, he stared at it for a bit, swirling it around in the glass as he did so. "You know," he began, his heartbeat quickened, and for a moment he wondered whether he should really say it out loud. It had been on his mind the whole time after Jin left back then but he could never tell him, never call him, never write him a letter even though he wanted to let the other hear his message. His small message that he wanted to voice out so badly to Jin years ago. Was it too late? "I really missed you." he finally said, his voice soft and small, and he took a long sip to hide his embarrassement.

There, his heart felt a lot less heavy now.

[kakusanaide]

Calling the statement a bit too forward would be an understatement. It was so sudden, that Jin nearly choked on his food, his eyes widening. Lucky for him, he was looking down on his meal at the time, so his expression had been clearly hidden from Kame's sight. But if he were to really choke and spit out his food, that would've been the end of his expensive dinner.

Despite calming his demeanour, Jin wasn't sure how to act at those words. Sure, he was happy. Thrilled, in fact. But how was he supposed to say it right without actually conveying his true feelings? "Ah." He looked up at the other and just smiled a genuine smile. Jin felt like hitting himself for managing only a monosyllable word for an answer at such a dire time, but the genuine smile made it less terrible, he hoped.

[ooc: ...I have no idea where this is going. xDDD]

[sixteenxseconds]

Kame chuckled at the reply he got. He wasn't dissapointed (maybe just a tiny, tiny bit but it never showed) because he didn't expect from Jin to tell him the same thing. "I just wanted to let you know." he explained, putting his glass down to start on his dinner, finally taking a bite of it and smiled at the delicious taste while he chewed. "After you left, it had been on my mind the whole time but I could never tell you." he paused, his eyes raised to meet Jin's momentarily. "And since we are supposed to talk it out for once and for all, I felt it was necessary for me to mention it."

[ooc: I... have no idea as well. XD My muse has mood swings like whoa. Shall we fastforward and end it at a certain comment? Like.. end it at comment nr. 102? See the connection? XD]

[kakusanaide]

"Ah." Again. Again with that answer, this time with a small nod. He wasn't sure why he couldn't seem to come up with proper words. Perhaps it was because of his muddled brain that's a bit too confused at the moment. Sure, he was feeling glad to hear that from Kame, but at the same time, he wasn't sure what the other meant by that. Was he being missed just because he was a good friend? Or was there other feelings behind it? Somewhere in his heart, he hoped it was the latter, but he knew there's a high chance that it's not even plausible. Jeez, what was he getting his hopes up for?

For a moment, Jin just ate in silence, contemplating thoughts running through his mind.

[ooc: Rofl. Haha. I noticed. Yeah. Feel free to. xD Why 102? Totally don't see the connection. xDD Aside from 1+2=3 which is a nice number. Haha.]

[sixteenxseconds]

Not really getting a proper answer back from Jin, Kame continued eating his food in silence too.

And that was how their dinner went for the evening. Sure, there were attempts for a conversation and sometimes they were succesful, but there was always a silence that followed. A bit awkward, Kame thought. Well, he guessed he should've expected it after such a conversation.

"Now I'm free off my debt, right?" he asked Jin, a small laughter behind his words.

He had just paid for the bill and now they were headed outside towards the jockey who had the keys to Jin's car.

[ooc:Uhm, is this okay? xD LOL. XD You have to think deeper than that~ It's the number of the Akame episode, yo. xD]

[kakusanaide]

"Yeah." he simply chuckled in reply, watching Kame paying for the bill.

The moment he stepped out of the restaurant, Jin took a deep breath, glad that he's finally out into the fresh air. The awkward conversations had somehow turned the whole pleasant restaurant into a place too stuffy for his comfort. Though the food had been anything but something to complain for. As if out of habit, Jin reached for his blazer breast pocket and took out a packet of cigarettes, pulling one out and placed it in between his lips with much ease. At tense times, there's no better cure than a dose of nicotine. It's his choice of dessert most of the times. Lighting the cig with an expensive lighter, Jin took a long drag out of it, savouring the bitter taste on his lips.

"So..." he begun, taking another drag of smoke. "Where to next? Anywhere you want to go?"

[ooc: Haha. THAT's so...hard. xDD My mind works puzzles differently. xDD]

[sixteenxseconds]

Seeing how Jin started smoking Kame felt a sudden need for it too, touching his pockets to feel where he'd put his package of Marlboro but he felt nothing but his wallet and keys. Damn, now that he remembered, he had left it at home in the kitchen.

"At this hour?" he took a quick glance at his watch and read, half past ten. The first place that came to his mind was a club but just as quick as that thought came to his mind he pushed it away. It was probably not a good idea to do today, with Jin. "I don't really mind. Did you want to do something?" he asked, eyeing the cigarette between the other's lips as he took a drag out of it. "Uh, would you mind giving me one? I forgot my package at home."

[ooc: You just fail. 8D And dude. Are your hours still screwed up? It's freakin' late/early over there when you replied. xDD]