(no subject)
So summer is officially over. Its a bummer. But I guess I was ready for it too. It definitely flew by, I don't think anyone can deny that.
I'm never really ready for summer to be over and classes to start, and I'm still not now, but it's inevitable. And this summer wasn't exactly the best for me, so it's definitely time to move on. The next 9 months are going to be tough. My senior year starts Thursday, and that's just fucking nuts. Hard classes this semester, followed by senior field at Roosevelt in the Spring. I'm slowly be moved into the adult world. boo.
Anywho, I wish I could have written more positively in here over the past 4 months, but unfortunately it was just one blow after another. This break up has seriously fucked me up. I don't feel like i've been completely myself since then. I feel I gave David all of me, I gave him everything, and he still has some of me And until I completely let go, he'll still have that part. I felt I was just unraveling before everyone's eyes, although a lot of people told me I hid it well. But those who really know me know I was falling apart. And sometimes I still am. I still have really bad, emo days. David is finally home, and finally back in Glassboro, and that was really hard for me. I missed him so much, and just kept thinking of the moment he would finally come home from St. Louis...and now he finally has, and I don't get what I waited for. I didn't get my moment. I didn't get to give his shirt back to him like he promised. I haven't gotten anything. It's also extremely hard for me to be so close to Graifer while knowing he lives in the same room with David. He gets to see David move on, and see how I'm so not apart of his life anymore. And Graifer has to just go with it, and I really hate that, haha. I fear that once school starts I might even become more depressed than I already am because I don't have my escape or motivation anymore. Knowing I'd be going to Rowan for the weekend, i finished all my school work early, I worked for the weekend and looked forward to it each and every time. And I don't have that now. And it kind of freaks me out. All of these parties that went on down there this past weekend....I expected to be apart of them...and I wasn't. It's just really horrible to have enjoyed the past semester so much and have it all ripped away from me in seconds. But blah blah blah Kristin's depressed. This is nothing new. This wasn't my intent of this entry.
Summer Wrap Up:
-got my heart fucking broken and punted across Missouri
-got a A in Earth Science
-went to 2 Met games and 1 yankee game
-had a crazy Boozinbq II, Electric Boogaloo
-visited Graifer in Glassboro
-visted my brother in Philly
-went to Hershey
-Friday the Crunkteenth with my awesome goblet
-Teejay's bbq in Brick on the hottest day ever
-Eric's beach house a few times
-Nude beach....=x
-Band in a Bubble in nyc
-2 Rise Against concerts, 1 Boy Sets Fire concert, and 1 RBF/LTJ concert
-eye infection
-all types of friendship changes going on
-hangin out with Stacey Potter in Red Bank at her beautiful house lol
-starting work at the Waiting Room
-lots of trips to the beach
-go karts...boardwalk...mini golf...batting cages...driving range...arcades
-finiing ridiculous armani sunglasses
-6 Flags
-maxi padding graifer's car
What else am I missing?
It really wasn't that bad of a summer...I did have a good time, and like I've mentioned a billion times before in here, I love my friends more than words can say, but I just wasn't with it. I can't say I really regret being so sad...because I couldn't control it and I had to and have to deal with it the way I need to deal with it. I never expected for a break up to affect me so much, but it has. I've never been so blindsided by someone I cared so much about in my life. A lot of days I was too depressed to want to do anything, and that's just how it was. At least it happened in the summer I guess instead of during school. Then I might have killed him. So if I had to chose one word to describe this summer it'd be change. I'm in the mist of the healing process, and good lord it's going slow. But eventually...I will be okay. I just hope it's sooner than later. I miss me.
I hope everyone else's summer was good. Good luck with the fall semester. Drop a comment yo.
::poof::
I'm never really ready for summer to be over and classes to start, and I'm still not now, but it's inevitable. And this summer wasn't exactly the best for me, so it's definitely time to move on. The next 9 months are going to be tough. My senior year starts Thursday, and that's just fucking nuts. Hard classes this semester, followed by senior field at Roosevelt in the Spring. I'm slowly be moved into the adult world. boo.
Anywho, I wish I could have written more positively in here over the past 4 months, but unfortunately it was just one blow after another. This break up has seriously fucked me up. I don't feel like i've been completely myself since then. I feel I gave David all of me, I gave him everything, and he still has some of me And until I completely let go, he'll still have that part. I felt I was just unraveling before everyone's eyes, although a lot of people told me I hid it well. But those who really know me know I was falling apart. And sometimes I still am. I still have really bad, emo days. David is finally home, and finally back in Glassboro, and that was really hard for me. I missed him so much, and just kept thinking of the moment he would finally come home from St. Louis...and now he finally has, and I don't get what I waited for. I didn't get my moment. I didn't get to give his shirt back to him like he promised. I haven't gotten anything. It's also extremely hard for me to be so close to Graifer while knowing he lives in the same room with David. He gets to see David move on, and see how I'm so not apart of his life anymore. And Graifer has to just go with it, and I really hate that, haha. I fear that once school starts I might even become more depressed than I already am because I don't have my escape or motivation anymore. Knowing I'd be going to Rowan for the weekend, i finished all my school work early, I worked for the weekend and looked forward to it each and every time. And I don't have that now. And it kind of freaks me out. All of these parties that went on down there this past weekend....I expected to be apart of them...and I wasn't. It's just really horrible to have enjoyed the past semester so much and have it all ripped away from me in seconds. But blah blah blah Kristin's depressed. This is nothing new. This wasn't my intent of this entry.
Summer Wrap Up:
-got my heart fucking broken and punted across Missouri
-got a A in Earth Science
-went to 2 Met games and 1 yankee game
-had a crazy Boozinbq II, Electric Boogaloo
-visited Graifer in Glassboro
-visted my brother in Philly
-went to Hershey
-Friday the Crunkteenth with my awesome goblet
-Teejay's bbq in Brick on the hottest day ever
-Eric's beach house a few times
-Nude beach....=x
-Band in a Bubble in nyc
-2 Rise Against concerts, 1 Boy Sets Fire concert, and 1 RBF/LTJ concert
-eye infection
-all types of friendship changes going on
-hangin out with Stacey Potter in Red Bank at her beautiful house lol
-starting work at the Waiting Room
-lots of trips to the beach
-go karts...boardwalk...mini golf...batting cages...driving range...arcades
-finiing ridiculous armani sunglasses
-6 Flags
-maxi padding graifer's car
What else am I missing?
It really wasn't that bad of a summer...I did have a good time, and like I've mentioned a billion times before in here, I love my friends more than words can say, but I just wasn't with it. I can't say I really regret being so sad...because I couldn't control it and I had to and have to deal with it the way I need to deal with it. I never expected for a break up to affect me so much, but it has. I've never been so blindsided by someone I cared so much about in my life. A lot of days I was too depressed to want to do anything, and that's just how it was. At least it happened in the summer I guess instead of during school. Then I might have killed him. So if I had to chose one word to describe this summer it'd be change. I'm in the mist of the healing process, and good lord it's going slow. But eventually...I will be okay. I just hope it's sooner than later. I miss me.
I hope everyone else's summer was good. Good luck with the fall semester. Drop a comment yo.
::poof::