[ raido | a journey down memory lane ]
[Loki's been on the phone, listening to all of your confessions and laughing quietly to himself. He thought he had himself under control. He found himself unable to lie properly, yes, but he wasn't blurting things out like everyone else was.
But as the days go by...he finds himself picking up the phone for another purpose, an unfiltered call. He sounds...vindictive at first, but grows more and more upset as he goes on.]
I killed Baldr.
That’s right, Thor. I’ve already done it. I guided Hodr’s hand while the mistletoe pierced his heart. I watched Skidbladnir burn.
And you know what?
It'll take more than a couple of centuries of torture to make me regret it. Do you know what I do regret? I regret coming to Asgard with the foolish, starry-eyed hope that you'd treat me like a friend. All I wanted from you was some Hel-damned respect! But could you give it to me? No, I was too weak, too clever, too womanly for you to see me as a friend! I was a tool you kept around to save you when you couldn't solve a problem with good, honest violence. If I had arms the size of tree trunks and a head like a brick, then I'd be trustworthy, because you have to be too stupid to lie in order to be a true man!
I had children for you! I seduced a horse to save the world! But of course no one remembers that part. All they think about is how funny it is to call me Loki mare-mother! And that's not all --
[CUE A LONG LIST OF ALL THE MEN LOKI HAS MARRIED, SLEPT WITH, OR HAD CHILDREN WITH--AND MENTIONS OF ALL THE CHILDREN. IT'S A FAIRLY IMPRESSIVE LIST.]
--and you'll never let me forget any of it! I couldn't live it down the first time! I hate you for it--hate enough to swallow the sun and stir the seas! A fair price for the slow destruction of a man's pride!
[He seems to calm down a little bit. When he speaks again, it's more subdued.]
...but a part of me...just hates myself. Don't get me wrong, now -- I love myself too. I love being the cleverest. I love tricking the musclebound fools out of their food, their mead and their wives. Though I never did talk Sif into bed with me. I regret that to this day. But if I had not been fathered by a giant...if I had been born strong, with no aptitude for magic and the brains of a table...perhaps they would have come to my rescue, instead of holding me down while the auger mutilated my lips. I was born all wrong.
I hate a lot of things. I hate Baldr, for being everything I couldn't. I hate the Aesir for treating me like what I was. I hate fate for dealing me losing cards, but it also handed me revenge on a silver platter. I hate the cave, and I hate the town for taking me out of it.
[Loki sounds like he's smiling now.]
But I can't hate Mayfield too much. It brought me here before Thor. That means that for once...I'm the stronger one. I've already killed him once. How many times will I get to do it, I wonder?
...oh, and Harley--I mean, Harleen Quinzel, wasn't it? I lied to you about Pamela.
But as the days go by...he finds himself picking up the phone for another purpose, an unfiltered call. He sounds...vindictive at first, but grows more and more upset as he goes on.]
I killed Baldr.
That’s right, Thor. I’ve already done it. I guided Hodr’s hand while the mistletoe pierced his heart. I watched Skidbladnir burn.
And you know what?
It'll take more than a couple of centuries of torture to make me regret it. Do you know what I do regret? I regret coming to Asgard with the foolish, starry-eyed hope that you'd treat me like a friend. All I wanted from you was some Hel-damned respect! But could you give it to me? No, I was too weak, too clever, too womanly for you to see me as a friend! I was a tool you kept around to save you when you couldn't solve a problem with good, honest violence. If I had arms the size of tree trunks and a head like a brick, then I'd be trustworthy, because you have to be too stupid to lie in order to be a true man!
I had children for you! I seduced a horse to save the world! But of course no one remembers that part. All they think about is how funny it is to call me Loki mare-mother! And that's not all --
[CUE A LONG LIST OF ALL THE MEN LOKI HAS MARRIED, SLEPT WITH, OR HAD CHILDREN WITH--AND MENTIONS OF ALL THE CHILDREN. IT'S A FAIRLY IMPRESSIVE LIST.]
--and you'll never let me forget any of it! I couldn't live it down the first time! I hate you for it--hate enough to swallow the sun and stir the seas! A fair price for the slow destruction of a man's pride!
[He seems to calm down a little bit. When he speaks again, it's more subdued.]
...but a part of me...just hates myself. Don't get me wrong, now -- I love myself too. I love being the cleverest. I love tricking the musclebound fools out of their food, their mead and their wives. Though I never did talk Sif into bed with me. I regret that to this day. But if I had not been fathered by a giant...if I had been born strong, with no aptitude for magic and the brains of a table...perhaps they would have come to my rescue, instead of holding me down while the auger mutilated my lips. I was born all wrong.
I hate a lot of things. I hate Baldr, for being everything I couldn't. I hate the Aesir for treating me like what I was. I hate fate for dealing me losing cards, but it also handed me revenge on a silver platter. I hate the cave, and I hate the town for taking me out of it.
[Loki sounds like he's smiling now.]
But I can't hate Mayfield too much. It brought me here before Thor. That means that for once...I'm the stronger one. I've already killed him once. How many times will I get to do it, I wonder?
...oh, and Harley--I mean, Harleen Quinzel, wasn't it? I lied to you about Pamela.