Regrets
I have tried to live my life without regrets. I've done pretty well in my 31 years, until now. My grandmother passed away June 7th. I hadn't seen her in about 3 1/2 years. I am SO mad and upset with myself for letting that much time slip away without a visit. My grandma had been battling a brain tumor for about the last year and a half. The doctors removed an orange size tumor back in December of 2004. Within a few months of rehab my grandma was back to her independent and witty self. My Aunt had been living with her in PA during her recovery and after a few months my aunt went back to NC. Well a few months ago my aunt called to say my grandmother was starting to lose her memory again and calling things by the wrong name. The doctors thought it could be some residual swelling. They put her on steroids and other assorted medications and scheduled another Catscan/MRI. Once they finally got around to doing this, they found the tumor was the type that becomes very aggressive when it's been aggravated. There were a few tumors now and there wasn't anything they could do. They gave her 3-5 months to live at the beginning of June. As soon as my aunt told me I scheduled a flight to go up on the 15th to see her. Early on the 7th my aunt once again called, this time to tell me "Gwen, I'm so sorry, but they think grandma has a few days". I left work, went home to pack. We jumped in the car and left and when we were in NC I got a call saying she passed away. I don't know that I've ever hurt so bad. I had been so close with my grandma. When I was a kid I spent more time at her house than I did at my own. I loved sleepovers at her house. I loved listening to her play the piano. At night she would make up the couch for me and we would watch Wheel of Fortune, the evening news, and the Carol Burnett show. She was always so proud of me and never missed an opportunity to tell her friends about my latest accomplishments. :) She was, as my dad would say, truly a saint. She never missed church, never had an ill word to say about ANYONE, and loved her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren to the moon and back. I miss her so much.
Why do we take time for granted... "there's always tomorrow". But there's not always tomorrow. All those stupid cliche's are running through my head now. I think my uncle said it best "I thought Mom would live forever". I did too, I thought my grandmother would live forever. She was 85 and always so healthy an independent. I thought there'd always be a tomorrow to see her. We get too caught up in our busy lives. I will learn from this.
The irony is almost the entire family (children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren) was there. It was nice to see some aunts, uncles, and cousins I hadn't seen in years. After the services and mass we all got together to have brunch, talk and reminisce, and take pictures. I know my grandmother would have loved it.
Where does the time go?!?!
Why do we take time for granted... "there's always tomorrow". But there's not always tomorrow. All those stupid cliche's are running through my head now. I think my uncle said it best "I thought Mom would live forever". I did too, I thought my grandmother would live forever. She was 85 and always so healthy an independent. I thought there'd always be a tomorrow to see her. We get too caught up in our busy lives. I will learn from this.
The irony is almost the entire family (children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren) was there. It was nice to see some aunts, uncles, and cousins I hadn't seen in years. After the services and mass we all got together to have brunch, talk and reminisce, and take pictures. I know my grandmother would have loved it.
Where does the time go?!?!
