(no subject)
Quick update on the baby situation:
§ I heard the peanut’s heartbeat last Tuesday. Was very relieved about this. Rode that high until about yesterday, when I began worrying again. I have another appointment on the 21st to hear the heartbeat again, after which my worry about miscarriage will subside substantially, only to be replaced with worry about the fact that I’m actually having a baby.
§ I don’t feel nauseous anymore, but still sometimes puke if something fails to agree with me. In general, I prefer occasional vomit to constant queasiness.
§ The boobs are no longer as sore and can swing free without causing wincing.
§ I’ve only gained two pounds. Yay me!
§ I have absolutely no control over food cravings. I always kind of thought (not that I gave it that much thought) that pregnant women exaggerate the whole food craving thing. You know, use pregnancy as an excuse to just eat whatever they want. But I am here to tell you that food cravings cannot be denied. All I want is cheese sandwiches. And yoghurt. Every now and then, a big fat steak or hunk of cheesey lasagna. Absolutely no vegetables, thanks, unless they’re covered in cheese sauce. And I can’t handle lettuce in any form. Or seafood. This is pretty much the exact opposite of how I normally eat. It’s so weird. I’ve pretty much abandoned all hope of trying to control it. The peanut gets what the peanut wants and that’s final.
§ I’m not as bone-achingly tired. I’ve always been the sort of person who doesn’t need much coaxing to crawl into bed and sleep, so I’m still indulging on weekends. But I don’t need to snooze in the bathroom stall at work anymore.
§ I’ve decided not to get the blood screening test that will tell me if the peanut has a high chance of being a downs syndrome baby or having spinabifida. I mean, what would I do with that information, exactly? And what about all the other diseases/problems it could have? Termination is not an option (I’m pro-choice, for the record, but my choice could never be abortion… not after that miscarriage). And if the results came back positive, that would just make me worry even more for the rest of the pregnancy. It’s not like I can do anything about it. I’ll just wait and see what I get when the time comes and deal with it then. Besides, this test apparently has a high occurrence of false positives, which means that lots of mothers worry for months for nothing. Who needs that?
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In other news, my father arrived in town unannounced on Tuesday. His job takes him all over North America and it was inevitable that he would show up here to work sooner or later. We went to dinner. And it was actually fun!
I’ve realized something important about our relationship. It’s much better when other people aren’t around.
(Well, hubby was there. But he just adds levity and acts as a buffer. I mean other other people.)
Because when no one else is around, Dad and I actually talk about real stuff. This never happens when his girlfriend is there. Or the various crazy and/or drunk relatives. Or even my sister. In fact, I don’t really remember a time in recent history (or maybe even at all!) when he and I were (relatively) alone together and actually comfortable about it. We spent about three hours sitting on the deck of a waterfront restaurant in Tacoma, eating, talking, laughing.
It was weird. But good.
Any minute now he’ll do something to piss me off, I just know it.