Why?
Why do I try so hard when every time I just get hurt? Maybe he really doesn't feel the way he use to. I believe he does but I thought he would let it show sometime at least a little. I still have hope, but I just feel so stupid sometimes and like i am just letting myself get hurt. I think it is time to stop trying, just to let it go and accept that this is how it is. Why are people so confusing, why can't people just know what they want for sure and go for it. And on the other hand why do I keep going for something when I am not getting it and I am just getting hurt. I feel like I am stuck at this wall and I get to the top and then as soon as I do someone pushes me and I fall all the way down and get hurt. But then I try again. One day I am going to be too hurt and I won't even be able to make it to the top. I feel like that day is approaching. I mean if he would reach out and give me a hand a steady hand I know I could make it. But I feel like he gives me his hand for just long enough to make me believe and then lets go. Why do people put themselve through all this. I need to realize that I can't make it up this wall, at least right now so stop trying and hurting myself.