I Can't Fucking Win for Losing
Bullshit at work. I am so goddamn miserable right now.
Johanna Chamberlain: what happened at work
Johanna Chamberlain: who do I need to stick a pickle jar in their ass???
Steffie: YES
Steffie: But not the folks at work, the bitch that started the whole mess
Johanna Chamberlain: if it's a guy I'll stick it in his peenhole too
Steffie: Oy, it's such a long story, but I'll try my best to be brief
Johanna Chamberlain: detail
Steffie: So I do collections/accounts receiveable/cash application & reapplication for Dell Financial
Johanna Chamberlain: Dell Financial is that like the computer thing???
Johanna Chamberlain: company*
Steffie: Yeah
Johanna Chamberlain: ooh so you can hook me up with recovery cds lol
Steffie: I don't work directly for Dell, I work for a company that does outsourced accounting work for large companies
Johanna Chamberlain: oohh ok
Johanna Chamberlain: keep goin what did this bitch do
Steffie: There are people in my office that work for Sony, for Embarq, for UPS, etc.
Steffie: But I LOVE working the Dell account. I love it. I love what I do, I'm AMAZING at what I do, I love my coworkers, I love my bosses. I get up every morning excited to go to work and I go home loving my job.
Johanna Chamberlain: rare but you're lucky
Steffie: Basically, what I do there, is contact low bucket/high balance accounts and work their past due payments and cash applications.
Steffie: Meaning, I talk to people who have the potential for tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of business for Dell, who are under 90 days past due.
Steffie: I take payments to catch them up, and if they make a payment and it doesn't get applied correctly, I research the problem and straighten it out for them.
Johanna Chamberlain: ok
Johanna Chamberlain: wow you're smart like abby too
Steffie: We shuffle our portfolio of accounts between people every week, with the point of view that resolving the accounts is a team effort. Maybe someone intuitively thinks to contact another person at the company when the previous person couldn't get anyone on the phone. Maybe someone thinks to check on a different account for a check we're missing when the previous person didn't know to look there. That kind of thing.
Steffie: So a week or two ago, I get this account I haven't gotten yet. The notes are months long and every note I see us making on it shows that the receptionist swears at us and hangs up, the AP clerk is rude and tells us to fuck off, etc.
Steffie: I'm thinking, okay, I'm damn good at my job and I ALWAYS get my shit resolved. So they gave people shit? Not me. I'm the one who's gonna take care of this once and for all.
Steffie: I look up the company online, find the business's website (we only deal with accounts for businesses, not regular consumers like you and me who buy a laptop or something), and I look at the management information for the Chief Financial Officer so I can totally bypass all the rude-ass entry level shitheads.
Steffie: They don't have a phone number or extension, but they have an email, so I send them one, basically stating that we hit some roadblocks trying to contact them, I'm the new collections person in charge of the account, I want to get this resolved, please work with me and I promise you won't be disappointed with what I can accomplish for you.
Johanna Chamberlain: ok
Steffie: I get one back, they let me know that they're working with the actual corporate offices for Dell Computers and Dell Financial and they ask if it's okay if they continue to work with them directly and CC me on email contact with them that might affect my collections efforts on the accounts. I'm like, cool, work with them, they're above me, they'll get it straightened out, I have no problem if you contact me with updates, that's very helpful, thank you so much, etc.
Steffie: A few days later, I start receiving these emails from another person at the company.
Steffie: I look at her name, and then look at ALLLLLL the notes from the current and even past claims on the account. I go back to the business website. I can't find this chick's name, she's nobody we've ever spoken to, had reason to speak to, or would have any reason to KNOW to speak to.
Steffie: She's CCing me on emails she's sending to people within her company. Every email is a link to a posting onling about class action lawsuits against Dell Financial Services...or it's this hyped up rant about how she told off one of our reps who was connected to the business by phone on our automated dialing system (meaning it chooses an outstanding account at random and calls the phone number on file for them, they can't choose whether or not to call them and they can't hang up)...or it's an article from the FDCPA (laws about third party collections agencies calling CONSUMERS--like you and me, not businesses--at HOME about debt) and a description of how Dell Financial has completely violated it (which we can't do...the FDCPA doesn't apply to businesses, so we can't violate it)
Steffie: ...brb...
Johanna Chamberlain: hb this is interesting
Steffie: ...back...
Johanna Chamberlain: wb
Steffie: So I get these emails from her for a week, and finally, I'm sick of it. The cash apps I work are TEDIOUS. They're challenging, which is why I love doing the work, but they're time consuming and require a lot of concentration and few interruptions. Every time I have a cash application issue, I have to contact the customer, find out what accounts, invoices, and check information is involved, then hop over to one of the people with access to the corporate accounting matrix, research all the info they gave me, then I have to follow up with the customer and let them know what I found and what options they have, then I have to pursue whatever action we decide on, which is usually waiting for them to email me a written request to move money in a specific way, and then I have to fill out a form...
Steffie: ...to do so and forward it to corporate, wait for corporate's response saying that they have begun to work on it, note the account, and continue to follow up with corporate until there is a resolution. From there, I have to inform the customer that it's been completed and if any follow-up actions are required, go from there.
Steffie: OBVIOUSLY I do not have time for the bullshit she kept sending me all day.
Johanna Chamberlain: yea..
Steffie: Finally, instead of taking my lunch on Tuesday, I skipped eating and just spent my whole half hour drafting a response to her. It was polite, information, professional, and ethical. I made sure not to divulge any specific account information OR any proprietary information for either DFS or the company I work directly for.
Steffie: I educated her on the FDCPA and how it doesn't apply to us, to her account, or to any of the contact attempts we made. I explained to her what my job was and why I and my company were contacting her. I told her that the correspondence she was sending me was extremely inappropriate and that it was a violation of my company's email policy and requested that she no longer contact me in such a way.
Steffie: She sent me a response. It basically said that if I work for the company and she knows how to contact me, she refuses to cease. She said if it's not my job to address the stuff she's sending me then I have no business working for the company, and also, how dare I attempt to address their business. She took what I told her about how the FDCPA was for consumers only and said that she'd just research fair business practices in corporate collections and email me about that.
Steffie: So I sent a final response, and she didn't say anything back to it so I thought it was done. My response was basically, "Look. THIS IS WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING. This is what I think is going on with your account, and if you or anyone else at your company wants to email or call me about that, fantastic, I'd love to work with you guys and discuss any information or updates you have. BUT...I have no intention of wasting any more of my valueable time reading these countless harassing emails, and since you said they'd continue, if you do, I will have you blocked from my email. You don't want this to happen, because I'm good at what I do and I can get this straightened out for you no problem. Cease and desist, or you shoot yourself in the foot."
Steffie: She didn't say anything back. I figured she got the message and realized that she could potentially be screwed if she fucked up correspondence with me.
Steffie: Instead, I come in today and I'm working and things are okay, and I come back from my first break...and my boss, Josh, calls me and tells me to come into his office.
Steffie: Initially, I'm crazy fucking excited. They have a 90-day temp-to-hire policy.
Johanna Chamberlain: ok...
Steffie: You start there, they put you on an account, once you've been on the account for a minimum of 60 days (DFS does it by 90 days, but the company minimum is 60) they give you a review and if you're kicking ass, they make you a permanent employee on that account. When you're a temp, you just earn base rate and you're not eligible for any merit increases or performance related bonuses, you don't get any insurance, you don't get any vacation or PTO, you can be fired at will, and they can move you to any account whenever they want.
Johanna Chamberlain: ok
Steffie: I was eligible for hire for the 60-day on December 13th, and I'm looking at my 90-day on January 13th. Josh got the email from HR the other day saying that, and he was like, "You're one of my top 3 people, I put in your paperwork early, I'm not even going to wait the 90 days. I've never done that for anyone."
Steffie: It hasn't gone through yet.
Steffie: So when Josh calls me into his office, I'm all excited thinking he's going to tell me the paperwork went through and I'm hired permanent for DFS.
Steffie: Instead, he tells me that this bitch who was harassing me in my email was a high-ranking board member for that company she's with, and she complained to the DFS corporate people in the headquarters in Texas that she's been working with. From there, those people contacted M.J., the guy in Texas who manages all their outsourcing, whether it's outsourced accounting like us, or outsourced tech support, or outsourced sales, whatever.
Steffie: He's essentially the DFS boss of Josh's boss, Jack.
Steffie: So he's my boss's boss's boss's boss. O_O
Johanna Chamberlain: heehee ok
Steffie: Well, it got thrown at M.J. and he was basically told that she called in and had an EPIC hissyfit, bitching like some rich, pampered, spoiled-ass entitlement brat because some "peon" told her she was wrong and that she couldn't do something she wanted to.
Steffie: She was threatening to sue, she was threatening to call the Better Business Bureau on DFS and on my company, all kinds of shit.
Steffie: M.J. didn't think I did anything wrong, but he was told that he had to do SOMETHING just to appease this flaming bitch.
Johanna Chamberlain: what he do
Steffie: So he contacted Jack, Josh's boss, who's in charge of the whole DFS application at my company.
Steffie: M.J. told Jack what was up and said that they had to do something about me because of this lady, and told him to talk to Josh about my performance to see if it was worth it to fire me. Jack agreed that I didn't do anything wrong. Said it was bullshit that he had to do this and that he'd never heard a SINGLE complaint about me before from a superior, coworker, OR customer. EVER. But said he'd talk to Josh.
Steffie: Josh was fucking LIVID. He also agreed the situation was complete and utter bullshit and flat-out refused to fire me. He's like, "NO, that's not happening. I'm not getting rid of the best person we have. No. Nuh uh. Not gonna do it. Fuck that lady." But when Jack relayed that to M.J., he was like, "Dell Financial themselves is so pissed off about having to deal with this lady, we have to do something to ensure it's not going to happen.
Steffie: ...again.
Steffie: Oops, lol
Steffie: Anyway, Jack and Josh and M.J. figure out that in 60 days or less, one of four things will happen:
Steffie: 1. The customer will actually be serious about their threats and go to a lawyer, in which case we forward the account to Legal and don't have to deal with them anymore.
Johanna Chamberlain: They better fuckin keep you or else I'll find her and leave her in the worse part of Los Angeles
Johanna Chamberlain: or Oakland Or Richmond
Steffie: 2. The accounts will go so far past due that they get sent to a third party collection agency and then the company has to deal with them.
Steffie: 3. The person who's responsible for the account next will find out there's a cash application issue and fully resolve it, so the account will be closed and no one will have to work it anymore.
Steffie: -or-
Steffie: 4. The person who's responsible for the account next will find out there's NO cash application issue and get them to pay it, so the account will again be closed and we won't have to worry about it.
Steffie: So they decide they're going to move me over to an account that needs people really bad right now and then in 60 days, I can transfer back over to DFS if that's what I want to do.
Steffie: ...but since they're doing this before I'm hired on officially, that means I have to wait a minimum of 60 more days to get hired on. Which means I have cancer and have to sit around for another 2 months without health insurance, AT LEAST.
Steffie: It also means that at the end of the month, I'm not going to be eligible for a raise.
Steffie: It also means I can't call out sick or take a vacation day until at least March.
Steffie: And since that will be my hire date, at the very earliest, and not January, I won't get my full performance bonus for the year OR the full amount of PTO and vacation time.
Johanna Chamberlain: ooohh she needs to be socked in the nuts
Steffie: Yeah.
Steffie: So they move me to Quill Corporation. This tiny little account with all these quiet, boring people.
Steffie: They're a division of Staples, if you're curious, they sell office products. They use COMPLETELY different systems and methods than DFS so I have to train ALL over again.
Johanna Chamberlain: that fucking sucks hon
Steffie: And I go from having the second most important accounts, with the biggest issues and highest balances, the ones most likely to get payments...to sitting in the corner and researching and verifying contact information for accounts we lost touch with so that other people can call and collect on them, and taking the occasional incoming call.
Steffie: I don't actually get to work one-on-one with any customers on anything that's exciting or challenging or rewarding, they have a corporate department that does that.
Steffie: And the highest balance they have is, like, 2 grand.
Steffie: The accounts I used to work?
Steffie: Minimum of $25,000.
Johanna Chamberlain: damn
Steffie: When Josh called me into his office today, I swear, he was so upset that he had to do it.
Steffie: I thought he was going to either cry or punch a wall. Or both.
Johanna Chamberlain: I'da punched that one chick
Steffie: He gave me the biggest hug and told me that he would be proud to have me back after 60 days.
Johanna Chamberlain: are you
Steffie: And he said that I was one of the best people he's ever seen on the account in his entire time there.
Steffie: Fuck yes! I BELONG there, dude. Fuck Quill.
Johanna Chamberlain: Good
Steffie: And I told him that, too. After he said he was transferring me, I asked if there was ever a chance I could come back and he said that I couldn't work the application for 60 days. My next question was, "On Day 61, can I apply to transfer back over here?"
Steffie: He fucking BEAMED. He was like, "OMG you wanna come back?!"
Johanna Chamberlain: lol
Steffie: And I told him flat out, "You and Jack are the best people I've ever worked for. I have never had bosses as awesome as you guys. I love every single fucking person I work with and I'd take a bullet for them. Being on this account and working the portfolio I deal with makes me absolutely love coming to work everyday. I belong here, there's nowhere else I want to be but here.
Johanna Chamberlain: awwwwwww
Steffie: He said that if I don't get hired in the 60 days while I'm on Quill, the moment my transfer paperwork goes through and I'm back on DFS, I'm hired, lol.
Johanna Chamberlain: lol good
Steffie: Yeah.
Steffie: It was just...I am so angry, and so disgusted, and so fucking sad, Jo.
Steffie: I.love.my.fucking.job.
Johanna Chamberlain: you'll be back
Steffie: I would've been happier if they fired me.
Johanna Chamberlain: nah you'll be back with them 60 days go by really fast
Johanna Chamberlain: a year lasts a day 60 is a couple of hours
Steffie: I'm two offices over from DFS. I have to walk past it when I go anywhere in the building. I have to walk past there and look in and see where I should be, knowing the shitty fucking gruntwork I do everyday now, and eat my heart out.
Johanna Chamberlain: put it this way I'm comin back to you niggas ya best to be ready for me
Steffie: hahaha
Steffie: I'm just so miserable about the whole thing, I'm scared that I won't even try at Quill and I'll fuck it up. I'm so good at what I do at DFS because I love the work, and I love the environment...it makes me excellent at what I do. I don't think there's any chance I'll be able to say that about the new account.
Sooooo...that's where I'm at.
Fucking A.
-___-
Johanna Chamberlain: what happened at work
Johanna Chamberlain: who do I need to stick a pickle jar in their ass???
Steffie: YES
Steffie: But not the folks at work, the bitch that started the whole mess
Johanna Chamberlain: if it's a guy I'll stick it in his peenhole too
Steffie: Oy, it's such a long story, but I'll try my best to be brief
Johanna Chamberlain: detail
Steffie: So I do collections/accounts receiveable/cash application & reapplication for Dell Financial
Johanna Chamberlain: Dell Financial is that like the computer thing???
Johanna Chamberlain: company*
Steffie: Yeah
Johanna Chamberlain: ooh so you can hook me up with recovery cds lol
Steffie: I don't work directly for Dell, I work for a company that does outsourced accounting work for large companies
Johanna Chamberlain: oohh ok
Johanna Chamberlain: keep goin what did this bitch do
Steffie: There are people in my office that work for Sony, for Embarq, for UPS, etc.
Steffie: But I LOVE working the Dell account. I love it. I love what I do, I'm AMAZING at what I do, I love my coworkers, I love my bosses. I get up every morning excited to go to work and I go home loving my job.
Johanna Chamberlain: rare but you're lucky
Steffie: Basically, what I do there, is contact low bucket/high balance accounts and work their past due payments and cash applications.
Steffie: Meaning, I talk to people who have the potential for tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of business for Dell, who are under 90 days past due.
Steffie: I take payments to catch them up, and if they make a payment and it doesn't get applied correctly, I research the problem and straighten it out for them.
Johanna Chamberlain: ok
Johanna Chamberlain: wow you're smart like abby too
Steffie: We shuffle our portfolio of accounts between people every week, with the point of view that resolving the accounts is a team effort. Maybe someone intuitively thinks to contact another person at the company when the previous person couldn't get anyone on the phone. Maybe someone thinks to check on a different account for a check we're missing when the previous person didn't know to look there. That kind of thing.
Steffie: So a week or two ago, I get this account I haven't gotten yet. The notes are months long and every note I see us making on it shows that the receptionist swears at us and hangs up, the AP clerk is rude and tells us to fuck off, etc.
Steffie: I'm thinking, okay, I'm damn good at my job and I ALWAYS get my shit resolved. So they gave people shit? Not me. I'm the one who's gonna take care of this once and for all.
Steffie: I look up the company online, find the business's website (we only deal with accounts for businesses, not regular consumers like you and me who buy a laptop or something), and I look at the management information for the Chief Financial Officer so I can totally bypass all the rude-ass entry level shitheads.
Steffie: They don't have a phone number or extension, but they have an email, so I send them one, basically stating that we hit some roadblocks trying to contact them, I'm the new collections person in charge of the account, I want to get this resolved, please work with me and I promise you won't be disappointed with what I can accomplish for you.
Johanna Chamberlain: ok
Steffie: I get one back, they let me know that they're working with the actual corporate offices for Dell Computers and Dell Financial and they ask if it's okay if they continue to work with them directly and CC me on email contact with them that might affect my collections efforts on the accounts. I'm like, cool, work with them, they're above me, they'll get it straightened out, I have no problem if you contact me with updates, that's very helpful, thank you so much, etc.
Steffie: A few days later, I start receiving these emails from another person at the company.
Steffie: I look at her name, and then look at ALLLLLL the notes from the current and even past claims on the account. I go back to the business website. I can't find this chick's name, she's nobody we've ever spoken to, had reason to speak to, or would have any reason to KNOW to speak to.
Steffie: She's CCing me on emails she's sending to people within her company. Every email is a link to a posting onling about class action lawsuits against Dell Financial Services...or it's this hyped up rant about how she told off one of our reps who was connected to the business by phone on our automated dialing system (meaning it chooses an outstanding account at random and calls the phone number on file for them, they can't choose whether or not to call them and they can't hang up)...or it's an article from the FDCPA (laws about third party collections agencies calling CONSUMERS--like you and me, not businesses--at HOME about debt) and a description of how Dell Financial has completely violated it (which we can't do...the FDCPA doesn't apply to businesses, so we can't violate it)
Steffie: ...brb...
Johanna Chamberlain: hb this is interesting
Steffie: ...back...
Johanna Chamberlain: wb
Steffie: So I get these emails from her for a week, and finally, I'm sick of it. The cash apps I work are TEDIOUS. They're challenging, which is why I love doing the work, but they're time consuming and require a lot of concentration and few interruptions. Every time I have a cash application issue, I have to contact the customer, find out what accounts, invoices, and check information is involved, then hop over to one of the people with access to the corporate accounting matrix, research all the info they gave me, then I have to follow up with the customer and let them know what I found and what options they have, then I have to pursue whatever action we decide on, which is usually waiting for them to email me a written request to move money in a specific way, and then I have to fill out a form...
Steffie: ...to do so and forward it to corporate, wait for corporate's response saying that they have begun to work on it, note the account, and continue to follow up with corporate until there is a resolution. From there, I have to inform the customer that it's been completed and if any follow-up actions are required, go from there.
Steffie: OBVIOUSLY I do not have time for the bullshit she kept sending me all day.
Johanna Chamberlain: yea..
Steffie: Finally, instead of taking my lunch on Tuesday, I skipped eating and just spent my whole half hour drafting a response to her. It was polite, information, professional, and ethical. I made sure not to divulge any specific account information OR any proprietary information for either DFS or the company I work directly for.
Steffie: I educated her on the FDCPA and how it doesn't apply to us, to her account, or to any of the contact attempts we made. I explained to her what my job was and why I and my company were contacting her. I told her that the correspondence she was sending me was extremely inappropriate and that it was a violation of my company's email policy and requested that she no longer contact me in such a way.
Steffie: She sent me a response. It basically said that if I work for the company and she knows how to contact me, she refuses to cease. She said if it's not my job to address the stuff she's sending me then I have no business working for the company, and also, how dare I attempt to address their business. She took what I told her about how the FDCPA was for consumers only and said that she'd just research fair business practices in corporate collections and email me about that.
Steffie: So I sent a final response, and she didn't say anything back to it so I thought it was done. My response was basically, "Look. THIS IS WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING. This is what I think is going on with your account, and if you or anyone else at your company wants to email or call me about that, fantastic, I'd love to work with you guys and discuss any information or updates you have. BUT...I have no intention of wasting any more of my valueable time reading these countless harassing emails, and since you said they'd continue, if you do, I will have you blocked from my email. You don't want this to happen, because I'm good at what I do and I can get this straightened out for you no problem. Cease and desist, or you shoot yourself in the foot."
Steffie: She didn't say anything back. I figured she got the message and realized that she could potentially be screwed if she fucked up correspondence with me.
Steffie: Instead, I come in today and I'm working and things are okay, and I come back from my first break...and my boss, Josh, calls me and tells me to come into his office.
Steffie: Initially, I'm crazy fucking excited. They have a 90-day temp-to-hire policy.
Johanna Chamberlain: ok...
Steffie: You start there, they put you on an account, once you've been on the account for a minimum of 60 days (DFS does it by 90 days, but the company minimum is 60) they give you a review and if you're kicking ass, they make you a permanent employee on that account. When you're a temp, you just earn base rate and you're not eligible for any merit increases or performance related bonuses, you don't get any insurance, you don't get any vacation or PTO, you can be fired at will, and they can move you to any account whenever they want.
Johanna Chamberlain: ok
Steffie: I was eligible for hire for the 60-day on December 13th, and I'm looking at my 90-day on January 13th. Josh got the email from HR the other day saying that, and he was like, "You're one of my top 3 people, I put in your paperwork early, I'm not even going to wait the 90 days. I've never done that for anyone."
Steffie: It hasn't gone through yet.
Steffie: So when Josh calls me into his office, I'm all excited thinking he's going to tell me the paperwork went through and I'm hired permanent for DFS.
Steffie: Instead, he tells me that this bitch who was harassing me in my email was a high-ranking board member for that company she's with, and she complained to the DFS corporate people in the headquarters in Texas that she's been working with. From there, those people contacted M.J., the guy in Texas who manages all their outsourcing, whether it's outsourced accounting like us, or outsourced tech support, or outsourced sales, whatever.
Steffie: He's essentially the DFS boss of Josh's boss, Jack.
Steffie: So he's my boss's boss's boss's boss. O_O
Johanna Chamberlain: heehee ok
Steffie: Well, it got thrown at M.J. and he was basically told that she called in and had an EPIC hissyfit, bitching like some rich, pampered, spoiled-ass entitlement brat because some "peon" told her she was wrong and that she couldn't do something she wanted to.
Steffie: She was threatening to sue, she was threatening to call the Better Business Bureau on DFS and on my company, all kinds of shit.
Steffie: M.J. didn't think I did anything wrong, but he was told that he had to do SOMETHING just to appease this flaming bitch.
Johanna Chamberlain: what he do
Steffie: So he contacted Jack, Josh's boss, who's in charge of the whole DFS application at my company.
Steffie: M.J. told Jack what was up and said that they had to do something about me because of this lady, and told him to talk to Josh about my performance to see if it was worth it to fire me. Jack agreed that I didn't do anything wrong. Said it was bullshit that he had to do this and that he'd never heard a SINGLE complaint about me before from a superior, coworker, OR customer. EVER. But said he'd talk to Josh.
Steffie: Josh was fucking LIVID. He also agreed the situation was complete and utter bullshit and flat-out refused to fire me. He's like, "NO, that's not happening. I'm not getting rid of the best person we have. No. Nuh uh. Not gonna do it. Fuck that lady." But when Jack relayed that to M.J., he was like, "Dell Financial themselves is so pissed off about having to deal with this lady, we have to do something to ensure it's not going to happen.
Steffie: ...again.
Steffie: Oops, lol
Steffie: Anyway, Jack and Josh and M.J. figure out that in 60 days or less, one of four things will happen:
Steffie: 1. The customer will actually be serious about their threats and go to a lawyer, in which case we forward the account to Legal and don't have to deal with them anymore.
Johanna Chamberlain: They better fuckin keep you or else I'll find her and leave her in the worse part of Los Angeles
Johanna Chamberlain: or Oakland Or Richmond
Steffie: 2. The accounts will go so far past due that they get sent to a third party collection agency and then the company has to deal with them.
Steffie: 3. The person who's responsible for the account next will find out there's a cash application issue and fully resolve it, so the account will be closed and no one will have to work it anymore.
Steffie: -or-
Steffie: 4. The person who's responsible for the account next will find out there's NO cash application issue and get them to pay it, so the account will again be closed and we won't have to worry about it.
Steffie: So they decide they're going to move me over to an account that needs people really bad right now and then in 60 days, I can transfer back over to DFS if that's what I want to do.
Steffie: ...but since they're doing this before I'm hired on officially, that means I have to wait a minimum of 60 more days to get hired on. Which means I have cancer and have to sit around for another 2 months without health insurance, AT LEAST.
Steffie: It also means that at the end of the month, I'm not going to be eligible for a raise.
Steffie: It also means I can't call out sick or take a vacation day until at least March.
Steffie: And since that will be my hire date, at the very earliest, and not January, I won't get my full performance bonus for the year OR the full amount of PTO and vacation time.
Johanna Chamberlain: ooohh she needs to be socked in the nuts
Steffie: Yeah.
Steffie: So they move me to Quill Corporation. This tiny little account with all these quiet, boring people.
Steffie: They're a division of Staples, if you're curious, they sell office products. They use COMPLETELY different systems and methods than DFS so I have to train ALL over again.
Johanna Chamberlain: that fucking sucks hon
Steffie: And I go from having the second most important accounts, with the biggest issues and highest balances, the ones most likely to get payments...to sitting in the corner and researching and verifying contact information for accounts we lost touch with so that other people can call and collect on them, and taking the occasional incoming call.
Steffie: I don't actually get to work one-on-one with any customers on anything that's exciting or challenging or rewarding, they have a corporate department that does that.
Steffie: And the highest balance they have is, like, 2 grand.
Steffie: The accounts I used to work?
Steffie: Minimum of $25,000.
Johanna Chamberlain: damn
Steffie: When Josh called me into his office today, I swear, he was so upset that he had to do it.
Steffie: I thought he was going to either cry or punch a wall. Or both.
Johanna Chamberlain: I'da punched that one chick
Steffie: He gave me the biggest hug and told me that he would be proud to have me back after 60 days.
Johanna Chamberlain: are you
Steffie: And he said that I was one of the best people he's ever seen on the account in his entire time there.
Steffie: Fuck yes! I BELONG there, dude. Fuck Quill.
Johanna Chamberlain: Good
Steffie: And I told him that, too. After he said he was transferring me, I asked if there was ever a chance I could come back and he said that I couldn't work the application for 60 days. My next question was, "On Day 61, can I apply to transfer back over here?"
Steffie: He fucking BEAMED. He was like, "OMG you wanna come back?!"
Johanna Chamberlain: lol
Steffie: And I told him flat out, "You and Jack are the best people I've ever worked for. I have never had bosses as awesome as you guys. I love every single fucking person I work with and I'd take a bullet for them. Being on this account and working the portfolio I deal with makes me absolutely love coming to work everyday. I belong here, there's nowhere else I want to be but here.
Johanna Chamberlain: awwwwwww
Steffie: He said that if I don't get hired in the 60 days while I'm on Quill, the moment my transfer paperwork goes through and I'm back on DFS, I'm hired, lol.
Johanna Chamberlain: lol good
Steffie: Yeah.
Steffie: It was just...I am so angry, and so disgusted, and so fucking sad, Jo.
Steffie: I.love.my.fucking.job.
Johanna Chamberlain: you'll be back
Steffie: I would've been happier if they fired me.
Johanna Chamberlain: nah you'll be back with them 60 days go by really fast
Johanna Chamberlain: a year lasts a day 60 is a couple of hours
Steffie: I'm two offices over from DFS. I have to walk past it when I go anywhere in the building. I have to walk past there and look in and see where I should be, knowing the shitty fucking gruntwork I do everyday now, and eat my heart out.
Johanna Chamberlain: put it this way I'm comin back to you niggas ya best to be ready for me
Steffie: hahaha
Steffie: I'm just so miserable about the whole thing, I'm scared that I won't even try at Quill and I'll fuck it up. I'm so good at what I do at DFS because I love the work, and I love the environment...it makes me excellent at what I do. I don't think there's any chance I'll be able to say that about the new account.
Sooooo...that's where I'm at.
Fucking A.
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