Yet Another Bunch of Woe!
Ahh dear, time for another update. (The constancy only lasted so long!)
Brad and I saw each other at our Aspergers meeting thingo on Thursday last week. I had by then decided that I did indeed like him, so we had a nice and interesting little situation whereby I ended up on Brad's knee, a new girl ended up asking if we were together and I ended up explaining that Brad's answer would be based on information that he had received only moments before her! When the group was over, we went for a drive whereby we stumbled across a bunch of very thin stray cats. Fortunately Brad was understanding, and off we went to Coles to buy cat food. 1000mg of cat food and many tears later and hugs later, we left. It was awful. They were so thin, so hungry, but because they were so timid it was hard just to let them know that I had food. When I finally succeeded, it was invariably with the braver cats, so that one particularly gorgeous ginger cream tabby got most of the food and the even skinnier cats got little or none. I swear, it broke my heart just to see them and feel so helpless; I didn't want to call the animal catchers because strays don't get homes. These cats were so beautiful though. The ginger one and another little grey one even came close to me, the ginger got close enough to pat although he reacted like I had hit him. If I had known just how hungry they were, I would have bought more food. I worked on the principle of buying roughly what Annie eats; I should have bought more, then the more timid cats could have eaten the rest when the braver ones had eaten their fill. *sigh*
Still, it made me think. I was doing everything I could to feed these cats - barely more than kittens really - and to care for them, but most were so afraid that they wouldn't let me even get close enough to let them know that I had food. All I wanted was to help, but I couldn't. If it broke my heart to be unable to help a litter of stray cats, how broken must God feel? Me, I offered up less than $5 for a few tins of cat food, then an hour to try and feed them. God offered up his son and all these thousands of years later, is still refusing to give up on humanity. How many times has God reached out his hand to comfort us, to have us run away, too afraid to even realise he is helping? At least I soon realised that the cats didn't want to be touched. God cannot win; if he reaches out, we reject him; if he leaves us alone, we demand to know why he wasn't there.
Anyway, the rest of the evening with Brad was good; lots of hugs, some hand holding, and a kiss goodnight. Unfortunately it didn't last long. A few days later he came around, and he seemed pretty keen on making out. Then he suggested that we go to my room. Big mistake. It involved mum walking in on us in bed together (no, not sex, but not cool!). So then he was frustrated with me, I was peeved with him because it was his idea and I would have really rather just stick to hugs and hand-holding. So it came to be that after dinner including a dessert of 'grape benders' - the amazingly bendy grape flavoured phalluses (and yes, I made plenty of use of the innuendo) - I ended up in my room ignoring Brad. Then when he was just out the door and ready to go, I went out and talked to him. It all came spewing out; basically he seemed all together and thought I was falling apart, and I seemed to be falling apart but was actually not so bad. We went for a walk, had a swing, things were cool to be friends... when he let it slip. Let's just say that he hadn't told me the whole truth about his previous relationships, a little something to do with one night of intimacy with a girl who turned out to have a fiance. Sure, he didn't know, but most of us don't sleep with people when we aren't close enough to know that sort of thing! I was pissed. Rather majourly so. And disgusted. Apparently he 'doesn't count' how many people he's slept with, and that does NOT mean that he hasn't slept with anyone! *sigh* It just means a lot to me, and it freaked me out to think that he would be the kind of person to have one night stands... He ended up driving off upset, and I went on back inside. It's a tricky one; I feel like I shouldn't be saying this about him, but it affected me and I like to spill everything here so there!
In other news, I met up with Philip, a lovely CHRISTIAN Aspie that I met at the group (nice!) for Maccas and then Op-Shopping! Twas awesome fun! He also goes to two very cool churches, one that I go to sometimes and one that I want to go to, and has invited me! Yay!
Oh, and my laptop is back; the bad news was that the fan couldn't be obtained and I would have to go though IBM (who charge $120 just to give a quote) to get it replaced. The good news is that for some reason it's no longer playing up! All the same, I would just LOVE to own that nice new $1340 Asus with built in webcam... Apparently I could get about $300-$400 to trade in this laptop, which is a bum since I could get double if the screen was un-fudged. Bummer eh? Still, I'm happy to have dear lappy back.
Also of great importance are the apparent death-throes of WrongPlanet. Apparently Alex has been reading people's private messages, and for some reason he un-modded Vivi. Considering that Vivi is just the bestest mod EVER, and considering that pretty much all the sensible old timers (including the mods) are furious at Alex, I'm inclined to think he's done the wrong thing bigtime. I don't know the full story, but anything that upsets my Vivi and my Birdy upsets me too! *humph* On the same stroke, Louisa and Ghotistix have just set up a cool new forum for Aspies and the like at http://www.onthespectrum.com/index.php It be very very awesome good so COME COME COME!
Finally (I think) I caught up with Babz tonight; she's been having a shit-as time but it was really good to see her. We at bad food and watched the sequel to Bridget Jones's Diary, which was good.
Wait, another finally; stimming is good, but not when it leads you to wear holes in your bedsheets or, in the immediate, tear off your thumbnail at the base. Ouch. Very ouch. Ah, at least my cold is nearly better, and I now only have one or two ulcers that cane, instead of a mouth full of them! Pity I won't have any more excuses to test outlandish theories like 'coke and salt and vinegar potato chips cure colds', though I won't really mind not re-testing the 'apple-cider vinegar does too' one!
Till next time, cheerio all my loving fans. And my loathing ones. Heck, bye everyone!
Brad and I saw each other at our Aspergers meeting thingo on Thursday last week. I had by then decided that I did indeed like him, so we had a nice and interesting little situation whereby I ended up on Brad's knee, a new girl ended up asking if we were together and I ended up explaining that Brad's answer would be based on information that he had received only moments before her! When the group was over, we went for a drive whereby we stumbled across a bunch of very thin stray cats. Fortunately Brad was understanding, and off we went to Coles to buy cat food. 1000mg of cat food and many tears later and hugs later, we left. It was awful. They were so thin, so hungry, but because they were so timid it was hard just to let them know that I had food. When I finally succeeded, it was invariably with the braver cats, so that one particularly gorgeous ginger cream tabby got most of the food and the even skinnier cats got little or none. I swear, it broke my heart just to see them and feel so helpless; I didn't want to call the animal catchers because strays don't get homes. These cats were so beautiful though. The ginger one and another little grey one even came close to me, the ginger got close enough to pat although he reacted like I had hit him. If I had known just how hungry they were, I would have bought more food. I worked on the principle of buying roughly what Annie eats; I should have bought more, then the more timid cats could have eaten the rest when the braver ones had eaten their fill. *sigh*
Still, it made me think. I was doing everything I could to feed these cats - barely more than kittens really - and to care for them, but most were so afraid that they wouldn't let me even get close enough to let them know that I had food. All I wanted was to help, but I couldn't. If it broke my heart to be unable to help a litter of stray cats, how broken must God feel? Me, I offered up less than $5 for a few tins of cat food, then an hour to try and feed them. God offered up his son and all these thousands of years later, is still refusing to give up on humanity. How many times has God reached out his hand to comfort us, to have us run away, too afraid to even realise he is helping? At least I soon realised that the cats didn't want to be touched. God cannot win; if he reaches out, we reject him; if he leaves us alone, we demand to know why he wasn't there.
Anyway, the rest of the evening with Brad was good; lots of hugs, some hand holding, and a kiss goodnight. Unfortunately it didn't last long. A few days later he came around, and he seemed pretty keen on making out. Then he suggested that we go to my room. Big mistake. It involved mum walking in on us in bed together (no, not sex, but not cool!). So then he was frustrated with me, I was peeved with him because it was his idea and I would have really rather just stick to hugs and hand-holding. So it came to be that after dinner including a dessert of 'grape benders' - the amazingly bendy grape flavoured phalluses (and yes, I made plenty of use of the innuendo) - I ended up in my room ignoring Brad. Then when he was just out the door and ready to go, I went out and talked to him. It all came spewing out; basically he seemed all together and thought I was falling apart, and I seemed to be falling apart but was actually not so bad. We went for a walk, had a swing, things were cool to be friends... when he let it slip. Let's just say that he hadn't told me the whole truth about his previous relationships, a little something to do with one night of intimacy with a girl who turned out to have a fiance. Sure, he didn't know, but most of us don't sleep with people when we aren't close enough to know that sort of thing! I was pissed. Rather majourly so. And disgusted. Apparently he 'doesn't count' how many people he's slept with, and that does NOT mean that he hasn't slept with anyone! *sigh* It just means a lot to me, and it freaked me out to think that he would be the kind of person to have one night stands... He ended up driving off upset, and I went on back inside. It's a tricky one; I feel like I shouldn't be saying this about him, but it affected me and I like to spill everything here so there!
In other news, I met up with Philip, a lovely CHRISTIAN Aspie that I met at the group (nice!) for Maccas and then Op-Shopping! Twas awesome fun! He also goes to two very cool churches, one that I go to sometimes and one that I want to go to, and has invited me! Yay!
Oh, and my laptop is back; the bad news was that the fan couldn't be obtained and I would have to go though IBM (who charge $120 just to give a quote) to get it replaced. The good news is that for some reason it's no longer playing up! All the same, I would just LOVE to own that nice new $1340 Asus with built in webcam... Apparently I could get about $300-$400 to trade in this laptop, which is a bum since I could get double if the screen was un-fudged. Bummer eh? Still, I'm happy to have dear lappy back.
Also of great importance are the apparent death-throes of WrongPlanet. Apparently Alex has been reading people's private messages, and for some reason he un-modded Vivi. Considering that Vivi is just the bestest mod EVER, and considering that pretty much all the sensible old timers (including the mods) are furious at Alex, I'm inclined to think he's done the wrong thing bigtime. I don't know the full story, but anything that upsets my Vivi and my Birdy upsets me too! *humph* On the same stroke, Louisa and Ghotistix have just set up a cool new forum for Aspies and the like at http://www.onthespectrum.com/index.php It be very very awesome good so COME COME COME!
Finally (I think) I caught up with Babz tonight; she's been having a shit-as time but it was really good to see her. We at bad food and watched the sequel to Bridget Jones's Diary, which was good.
Wait, another finally; stimming is good, but not when it leads you to wear holes in your bedsheets or, in the immediate, tear off your thumbnail at the base. Ouch. Very ouch. Ah, at least my cold is nearly better, and I now only have one or two ulcers that cane, instead of a mouth full of them! Pity I won't have any more excuses to test outlandish theories like 'coke and salt and vinegar potato chips cure colds', though I won't really mind not re-testing the 'apple-cider vinegar does too' one!
Till next time, cheerio all my loving fans. And my loathing ones. Heck, bye everyone!