I hate being reminded... >_< !
When I was in middleschool:
Everyone tried to fit in. If you didn't even try, you were viciously ostrasized. If you tried and failed, you were mocked to tears. "Fitting in" is best described as being as mean as possible to everybody, wearing Nike etc. everything, and listening to *shitty* rap music. The worst insult anyone could call you was a "skater". A "skater" was somebody who listened to alt. rock, sported Vans or Airwalks and hung silver chains from the pockets of their JNCOs (as opposed to the "popular" kids who wore Tommy everything and heavy gold chains around their necks). Skater boys were rumored to be dirty, and skater girls supposedly didn't wear bras. This, of course, was an outrage. If anyone, no matter what popularity rank, even *accused* you of being a "skater", you lost your friends. Nobody would talk to you, not even the geeks. Everyone would pick fights with you, and it was in your best interest to swallow your pride and hang your head rather than fight back because if you stood up to these people, it would start a chain of violence that would follow you to highschool. Since my family couldn't afford $130 shoes or $60 jeans, I was classified as a skater and had no choice but to consort with other skaters.
Sometimes, if you were a guy and beat people up (and your appearence qualified as "fitting in"), you would earn the respect of your classmates. These select few pressured all the "popular" girls into sex and repeatedly informed the other 95% of the grade that they were ugly, fat and stupid. It was during these precious years (in reference to me of course) that I first heard the terms "whore", "slut", "cunt", and espesically "hoe". Sometimes they formed complex adjectives like "dirty cunt hoe skater bitch". Also, raiding your rich parents' liquor closet and getting drunk off 2 beers was one of the best things you could do for your popularity rank. Smoking weed (or at least claiming to) was required to be living the thug life.
If you were a girl, you wore lots of gaudy make-up and dressed like a boy. Perhaps you had an eating disorder (they were all the rage), but nobody knew unless they heard you hacking up your lunch in the next stall because all you wore was huge CK teeshirts. One of your main goals was to take out your insecurties on girls who didn't look like you and make friends with the girls that were getting fucked by the popular boys in hopes that maybe you'd get an asshole boyfriend too. Your other hobbies included back-stabbing, rumor-spreading, and cat-fighting. That's right, some of worst fights I witnessed were girl vs. girl. And, on top of giving in to sexual pressures, you were expected to consume any drugs or liquor your loving boyfriend fed you.
The point of this little trip down memory lane is this: I was very, very angry and frustrated about the quality of my life during those years for a long time; however, I really didn't realize how strong and solid it made me until tonight. I'm not afraid to be me. I won't let anybody jerk me around. Very few people get under my skin. I almost never lose my temper, but when I do you'd better watch the hell out. If you're not worth my time, then I won't allow you to waste it. I'm very understanding, and if you can do something so terrible that I can't find it in me to forgive you, then god help you.
It's hard to banish people from my life, but I'll do it if I have to.
Everyone tried to fit in. If you didn't even try, you were viciously ostrasized. If you tried and failed, you were mocked to tears. "Fitting in" is best described as being as mean as possible to everybody, wearing Nike etc. everything, and listening to *shitty* rap music. The worst insult anyone could call you was a "skater". A "skater" was somebody who listened to alt. rock, sported Vans or Airwalks and hung silver chains from the pockets of their JNCOs (as opposed to the "popular" kids who wore Tommy everything and heavy gold chains around their necks). Skater boys were rumored to be dirty, and skater girls supposedly didn't wear bras. This, of course, was an outrage. If anyone, no matter what popularity rank, even *accused* you of being a "skater", you lost your friends. Nobody would talk to you, not even the geeks. Everyone would pick fights with you, and it was in your best interest to swallow your pride and hang your head rather than fight back because if you stood up to these people, it would start a chain of violence that would follow you to highschool. Since my family couldn't afford $130 shoes or $60 jeans, I was classified as a skater and had no choice but to consort with other skaters.
Sometimes, if you were a guy and beat people up (and your appearence qualified as "fitting in"), you would earn the respect of your classmates. These select few pressured all the "popular" girls into sex and repeatedly informed the other 95% of the grade that they were ugly, fat and stupid. It was during these precious years (in reference to me of course) that I first heard the terms "whore", "slut", "cunt", and espesically "hoe". Sometimes they formed complex adjectives like "dirty cunt hoe skater bitch". Also, raiding your rich parents' liquor closet and getting drunk off 2 beers was one of the best things you could do for your popularity rank. Smoking weed (or at least claiming to) was required to be living the thug life.
If you were a girl, you wore lots of gaudy make-up and dressed like a boy. Perhaps you had an eating disorder (they were all the rage), but nobody knew unless they heard you hacking up your lunch in the next stall because all you wore was huge CK teeshirts. One of your main goals was to take out your insecurties on girls who didn't look like you and make friends with the girls that were getting fucked by the popular boys in hopes that maybe you'd get an asshole boyfriend too. Your other hobbies included back-stabbing, rumor-spreading, and cat-fighting. That's right, some of worst fights I witnessed were girl vs. girl. And, on top of giving in to sexual pressures, you were expected to consume any drugs or liquor your loving boyfriend fed you.
The point of this little trip down memory lane is this: I was very, very angry and frustrated about the quality of my life during those years for a long time; however, I really didn't realize how strong and solid it made me until tonight. I'm not afraid to be me. I won't let anybody jerk me around. Very few people get under my skin. I almost never lose my temper, but when I do you'd better watch the hell out. If you're not worth my time, then I won't allow you to waste it. I'm very understanding, and if you can do something so terrible that I can't find it in me to forgive you, then god help you.
It's hard to banish people from my life, but I'll do it if I have to.