This is me.....now.
After taking a long hard look at my life and future, I decided to make some changes. All of them for the greater good. I'm taking some time to grow as a human being.
I have been doing alot of reading in religion and philosphy. I also am back in college. I had forgotten how much I loved school. This has also opend the doors again to one of my other passions: writting. I'm writting more and more each day. I stared my book again and I have been writting a crap ton of short stories. It feels so good to write again. I'm spending more time with my family. I'm also working on improving my health. I have started the Body For Life program. I'm learning more portion control and what supplements to take along with a better work out plan. It seems to be going well. I basically need my time. Luckliy, my family is behind me on it. I haven't talked to anyone other then the few friends that live out here and they are extremely supportive. I needed a break from "the scene". It just seemed like it was getting so fake. It was like high school all over again. I really don't care what people think about me. It seemed as if it was one big popluarity contest all over again. I'm too old for it. I left high school ten years ago, I'm an adult now. I needed to think about adult things, like having enough money to retire. The last thing I want is to be in my sixties working for Target, trying to get buy on min. wage and $300.00 SSI. My health needed improving, so I could be comfortable when I get up there in age. Let's face it, 30 is waving at me from the other side of the universe. I have to prepare for 40 and eventually 50! Mentally, I was a wreck, but, from what I have been reading, everything I am going through emotionally is due to my biological clock. Also I need to cut the dead wieght out of my life. I had to get rid of that extra stress. So I did. Now, I feel that I am in a better place in my life. Screw all the BS!
After listening to my John Lennon albums, I came across a song that has become my anthem. It is actually more of a reflection.
Watching the Wheels
By John Lennon
People Think I'm crazy
Doing what I'm Doing
Well they give me all kinds of warning
to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm ok
they look at me kind of strange
Surely yoor not happy now
you no longer play the game
People say I'm lazy
Dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice
designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine
watching shadows on the wall
Don't youy miss the big time boy
you're no longer on the ball?
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels
go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just to had to let it go
People asking questions
lost in confusion
Well I tell them there's no problem
only solutions
Well they shake their heads and
look at me as if I lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry....
I'm just sitting here doing time
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels
go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just to had to let it go
I have been doing alot of reading in religion and philosphy. I also am back in college. I had forgotten how much I loved school. This has also opend the doors again to one of my other passions: writting. I'm writting more and more each day. I stared my book again and I have been writting a crap ton of short stories. It feels so good to write again. I'm spending more time with my family. I'm also working on improving my health. I have started the Body For Life program. I'm learning more portion control and what supplements to take along with a better work out plan. It seems to be going well. I basically need my time. Luckliy, my family is behind me on it. I haven't talked to anyone other then the few friends that live out here and they are extremely supportive. I needed a break from "the scene". It just seemed like it was getting so fake. It was like high school all over again. I really don't care what people think about me. It seemed as if it was one big popluarity contest all over again. I'm too old for it. I left high school ten years ago, I'm an adult now. I needed to think about adult things, like having enough money to retire. The last thing I want is to be in my sixties working for Target, trying to get buy on min. wage and $300.00 SSI. My health needed improving, so I could be comfortable when I get up there in age. Let's face it, 30 is waving at me from the other side of the universe. I have to prepare for 40 and eventually 50! Mentally, I was a wreck, but, from what I have been reading, everything I am going through emotionally is due to my biological clock. Also I need to cut the dead wieght out of my life. I had to get rid of that extra stress. So I did. Now, I feel that I am in a better place in my life. Screw all the BS!
After listening to my John Lennon albums, I came across a song that has become my anthem. It is actually more of a reflection.
Watching the Wheels
By John Lennon
People Think I'm crazy
Doing what I'm Doing
Well they give me all kinds of warning
to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm ok
they look at me kind of strange
Surely yoor not happy now
you no longer play the game
People say I'm lazy
Dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice
designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine
watching shadows on the wall
Don't youy miss the big time boy
you're no longer on the ball?
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels
go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just to had to let it go
People asking questions
lost in confusion
Well I tell them there's no problem
only solutions
Well they shake their heads and
look at me as if I lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry....
I'm just sitting here doing time
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels
go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just to had to let it go