I had a dream about her last night ...
Why is it that when you're finally over someone, they figure out how to fuck with you from beyond? I mean, sure, she asked the Gypsy if they could be friends again, which only brought all this shit back to me. She had said she realized that it was a stupid thing to get mad at Gypsy for. Granted, she dumped me because i wouldn't get rid of Gypsy as a friend. So I had thought that meant that she would forgive me too. But I am already over her, or so I thought. Sure, she was a little crazy (by a little I mean she was un-medicated Bi-polar) but she was worth loving. Her son was a shining example of what I don't have. I really did love her, and now she's just a fading memory in my life. Though she did help me to understand that, yes, I do want children of my own, and yes I do want a relationship. I find it unfortunate that she just wanted to run at the sign of our first argument. Is it so much to ask to find a woman who's smart, funny and NOT crazy? I do realize I'm more of a family man that I had ever thought though. And she helped me realize that. While I don't specifically want HER back, I want that type of relationship back, and I suppose, in a way, she represented that change for me. So thanks to LeAnndra for helping me to realize what kind of man I want to be, and sending me shooting in that direction...not happy about the break up, or the every now and then thoughts of her, but she was a pivotal point in my life. And while I may never love her in that way again, she'll always hold a place in my heart, which will never be filled by the love of another.