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[purpletigress]

For the second year in a row I'm struggling with my family in the lead-up to Christmas. It sort of puts a damper on the most wonderful time of the year. I hate it because I love Christmas, but I feel like this angst saps all my joy

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[purpletigress]

Rewind a couple of years ago and Shannon was threatening to kill everyone in our family and stabbing my sister in the hand with a kitchen knife so badly that she required microsurgery. Needless to say, that's not something I have forgotten. I don't hate the guy. I know he's bipolar and hasn't always been medicated. But I also don't have any connection to him either. He doesn't show up to most family functions, including half the Christmases. I also think the relationship between him and my sister is really toxic, and I don't endorse it. So as far as I'm concerned, for all these reasons, he's kind of lucky that we extend the same courtesy to him as we do cousins. In a way he actually does better because he doesn't have to share his homemade gifts with a partner the way my cousins and aunt and uncle do. I know we're making the right call for us, but I hate that people think they have the right to guilt us about it. I'm not buying for anyone on the basis of guilt.

We've bought our antipasto stuff. I think if that's the space in the menu they have for us, that's that. But if there are fireworks on the day, I've got my speech ready in my head. If I continue to get a hard time, we're heading back home on Christmas. I won't have them spoil my day. We've got a chicken ready just in case. I think it'll be terrible if it gets to that point because it means my dad will be left alone on the day, but so be it.