the fear.

[purplesoapbox]

great. i just realised my previous post i mentioned i'm not worried. i obviously lied to myself. it's either that or i'm not feeling the other extreme now, cause i'm super super scared right now my heart is throbing and beating fast it may just pounce out of my mouth like, now. i read forums again, during and after lunch. some have completed their interviews and have posted up their experiences. it's scaring me but ironically i just want to continue reading on. the kind of questions asked is like capable of making you roll your eye ten times over. like, how many piano tuners does ny (or some random country) needs? c'mon, give me a break. no matter how hard i stared at this question i can't derieve an answer. oh, and last week's interview article was about tibet unrest. how great. i just hope they don't shoot me with taiwan kmt and ddp chen shui pian, frank, ma ying-jeou stuff. or spare me from the other side too - the US election. why are all the elections coming up now, like now. maybe mas selamat would be a more friendly topic to discuss about, no?

there's this silent confidence in me that God has a plan for me no matter what but these emotion whirlwind inside me gets too much once in a while. i really don't know what to expect, and i'm feeling scared nervous and what not. i dont want to think of it and give it a go with a mindset that other universities may get back to me so i can do mediocre-ly for this one. i'm going to do this like this is my only option left. i just want to be calm i dont want to be all messed up up here (points to brain), nerve-wreaked and screw the interview and then regret later because i only have one chance, one chance to prove myself.