Japanese Hosts #002
I promised to do another one of these and I'm following through. :D
For those of you who're new to my journal and have NO CLUE what this is, let me elaborate a tiny bit. In Japan, a "host" (ホスト hosuto) is a generally attractive male who works at places called host clubs (ホストクラブ hosuto kurabu). They serve lots of overpriced alcohol, and the guys are the ones serving it to you. The trick is...? Well, if you want the guy to spend time with you, you have to keep buying more of that insanely overpriced alcohol to keep him with you. If you don't order anything, he'll eventually drift off to another table that's demanding his attentions (by ordering more alcohol). It all becomes very competitive because there's ranking charts at each club that show which host at the club is doing the best (aka which host girls are spending the most money on alcohol for his attentions 8D). It's not unheard of for a girl to spend literally thousands of dollars at a club in one night on alcohols to keep her favorite host's attention on her.
There's a lovely site called Host Host that lists a large number of the host clubs in Japan, as well as featuring profiles on the staff at each of those clubs, along with links to the club's own websites.
So, why do you care? Because a deliciously large number of these guys are hot. Like, visual kei hot. It's all quite exciting and amusing to look at. So what I do here is browse the website and pick out guys I find interesting for one reason or another: they look sexy, funny profile... OR that they're butt ugly, severely lacking, etc. 8D Who's ready??
So um right off the bat let's start with an awesome guy. Check out Mayu at a club called Luv Paradis. I'm totally amused by the Engrish on his profile pictures, which states "MAYU with best sexy charm. Do you have the confidence that does not decline to this charm?" NO, Mr. Engrishy person, I do not have confidence that does not decline with his charm, especially when he's posing topless and showing off sexy snake tattoos on his biceps. :O So, as for his profile, he gave a few amusing answers. They apparently typoed and asked him his blood type twice, which he neglected to answer both times. There's not really any super negative stigmas attached to any blood type except for AB, so since he declined to answer, I'm gonna guess he's AB. 8D He also doesn't reveal his age. Interesting. He says he joined the club "to study" (to study what, exactly?) and that his favorite hobbies are "super sadistic things" .... um. He looks at girls laughing to lower his stress levels, and... well honestly there's nothing else super interesting here. 8D I am amused by the answer he gave to the question about what car he wants to drive... it says "if it's you then it's enough." 8D Smooth.
Well curiosity got the best of me so I decided to check out the other fine gentlemen at Luv Paradis (god that sounds like the name of a strip club. Or a brothel.) ... the other guys aren't so attractive but check out the manager, a guy named um Ryuuichi. Oh my. He's adorable! And tall! He um likes really masochistic girls with really masochistic bodies (wtf does that even mean?) I totally didn't get his "relieving stress" answer either. More or less it says "30 hours of nothing but sleeping. Otherwise, 30 hours of nothing but being awake." Ummm sure buddy. 8D
Ugh man Luv Paradis may have an epic name but the guys there aren't all that mind-blowing. Do any of the guys there happen to trip your trigger? 8D
HAH omfg alright here's a guy named Yuuga from a club that they decided to name Dead Or Alive WTF. YES you are totally going to inspire ease and comfort in your female patrons with a name like that. Anyway, Yuuga caught my eye because, well, just look at his totally unremarkable profile. Nothing stands out AT ALL until you see the line where they ask what part of a woman's body he likes. And he responds with "Well, I'm gay so..." (実はホモなので…) OMFG ARE YOU SERIOUS. Ladies and gentlemen, this is THE FIRST TIME EVER that I've seen a host on this website flat out say he's gay. 8D As a joke or not. Seriously. Honestly. Granted I don't read every single profile on here, not even close, but this is THE FIRST that I've with the guy saying he's gay. 8D What do you think. Should we believe him?
Check out this guy. Not terribly attractive in my eyes, but Touya here says he likes hairy asses. Some of the other guys at that club (called Bomb, if you're curious) aren't too bad, though.
Then there's Nao, who doesn't provide any information at all (I think he just didn't do his profile) but I find him fairly hot. Damn, it's those round cheeks. Ugh. :/
At another club now... this one is called Diana.
★ Dude ... what are you doing? 8D
★ And you ... what is with that hair?
★ YOU are the top host at this club? Are you serious?
★ You look vaguely like a rapist in your top photo. Please stop.
★ and you have a nice smile, but I really want to reach through the computer screen and fix your hair, dude.
And how about this club called Feel?
★ Omfg, you look like Masuda from NEWS! Except for that random huge mole on your cheek. :/ Little tiny moles are cute but one huge one on your cheek is distracting. I'd suggest getting that removed... o.o
★ Your hair is bizarre. Might I suggest a slightly more natural tone?
★ NO. Just... no.
★ This guy isn't wholly bad but his eyes are so far apart he looks almost like an alien! I know that's not something you can really fix (the space between your eyes), but, maybe he should find a more flattering hairstyle for it. The picture on the bottom right really creeps me out.
★ Oh yeah, this guy. He doesn't have the normal "pretty boy" look to him but he's not unattractive, I suppose. His profile made me chuckle because it asks what his type of girl is, and he flat-out says "You over there!" 8D As in, like, the girl reading it. Hah. Oh and also, I think it's generally a bad thing when the guy says his hobbies are alcohol. :/ And dude, you look so much more friendly when you smile/laugh. Do that more please.
Alright, enough for now you crazy people. 8D I'm gonna go oogle the first guy again. 8D Tattoos really do it for me.
For those of you who're new to my journal and have NO CLUE what this is, let me elaborate a tiny bit. In Japan, a "host" (ホスト hosuto) is a generally attractive male who works at places called host clubs (ホストクラブ hosuto kurabu). They serve lots of overpriced alcohol, and the guys are the ones serving it to you. The trick is...? Well, if you want the guy to spend time with you, you have to keep buying more of that insanely overpriced alcohol to keep him with you. If you don't order anything, he'll eventually drift off to another table that's demanding his attentions (by ordering more alcohol). It all becomes very competitive because there's ranking charts at each club that show which host at the club is doing the best (aka which host girls are spending the most money on alcohol for his attentions 8D). It's not unheard of for a girl to spend literally thousands of dollars at a club in one night on alcohols to keep her favorite host's attention on her.
There's a lovely site called Host Host that lists a large number of the host clubs in Japan, as well as featuring profiles on the staff at each of those clubs, along with links to the club's own websites.
So, why do you care? Because a deliciously large number of these guys are hot. Like, visual kei hot. It's all quite exciting and amusing to look at. So what I do here is browse the website and pick out guys I find interesting for one reason or another: they look sexy, funny profile... OR that they're butt ugly, severely lacking, etc. 8D Who's ready??
So um right off the bat let's start with an awesome guy. Check out Mayu at a club called Luv Paradis. I'm totally amused by the Engrish on his profile pictures, which states "MAYU with best sexy charm. Do you have the confidence that does not decline to this charm?" NO, Mr. Engrishy person, I do not have confidence that does not decline with his charm, especially when he's posing topless and showing off sexy snake tattoos on his biceps. :O So, as for his profile, he gave a few amusing answers. They apparently typoed and asked him his blood type twice, which he neglected to answer both times. There's not really any super negative stigmas attached to any blood type except for AB, so since he declined to answer, I'm gonna guess he's AB. 8D He also doesn't reveal his age. Interesting. He says he joined the club "to study" (to study what, exactly?) and that his favorite hobbies are "super sadistic things" .... um. He looks at girls laughing to lower his stress levels, and... well honestly there's nothing else super interesting here. 8D I am amused by the answer he gave to the question about what car he wants to drive... it says "if it's you then it's enough." 8D Smooth.
Well curiosity got the best of me so I decided to check out the other fine gentlemen at Luv Paradis (god that sounds like the name of a strip club. Or a brothel.) ... the other guys aren't so attractive but check out the manager, a guy named um Ryuuichi. Oh my. He's adorable! And tall! He um likes really masochistic girls with really masochistic bodies (wtf does that even mean?) I totally didn't get his "relieving stress" answer either. More or less it says "30 hours of nothing but sleeping. Otherwise, 30 hours of nothing but being awake." Ummm sure buddy. 8D
Ugh man Luv Paradis may have an epic name but the guys there aren't all that mind-blowing. Do any of the guys there happen to trip your trigger? 8D
HAH omfg alright here's a guy named Yuuga from a club that they decided to name Dead Or Alive WTF. YES you are totally going to inspire ease and comfort in your female patrons with a name like that. Anyway, Yuuga caught my eye because, well, just look at his totally unremarkable profile. Nothing stands out AT ALL until you see the line where they ask what part of a woman's body he likes. And he responds with "Well, I'm gay so..." (実はホモなので…) OMFG ARE YOU SERIOUS. Ladies and gentlemen, this is THE FIRST TIME EVER that I've seen a host on this website flat out say he's gay. 8D As a joke or not. Seriously. Honestly. Granted I don't read every single profile on here, not even close, but this is THE FIRST that I've with the guy saying he's gay. 8D What do you think. Should we believe him?
Check out this guy. Not terribly attractive in my eyes, but Touya here says he likes hairy asses. Some of the other guys at that club (called Bomb, if you're curious) aren't too bad, though.
Then there's Nao, who doesn't provide any information at all (I think he just didn't do his profile) but I find him fairly hot. Damn, it's those round cheeks. Ugh. :/
At another club now... this one is called Diana.
★ Dude ... what are you doing? 8D
★ And you ... what is with that hair?
★ YOU are the top host at this club? Are you serious?
★ You look vaguely like a rapist in your top photo. Please stop.
★ and you have a nice smile, but I really want to reach through the computer screen and fix your hair, dude.
And how about this club called Feel?
★ Omfg, you look like Masuda from NEWS! Except for that random huge mole on your cheek. :/ Little tiny moles are cute but one huge one on your cheek is distracting. I'd suggest getting that removed... o.o
★ Your hair is bizarre. Might I suggest a slightly more natural tone?
★ NO. Just... no.
★ This guy isn't wholly bad but his eyes are so far apart he looks almost like an alien! I know that's not something you can really fix (the space between your eyes), but, maybe he should find a more flattering hairstyle for it. The picture on the bottom right really creeps me out.
★ Oh yeah, this guy. He doesn't have the normal "pretty boy" look to him but he's not unattractive, I suppose. His profile made me chuckle because it asks what his type of girl is, and he flat-out says "You over there!" 8D As in, like, the girl reading it. Hah. Oh and also, I think it's generally a bad thing when the guy says his hobbies are alcohol. :/ And dude, you look so much more friendly when you smile/laugh. Do that more please.
Alright, enough for now you crazy people. 8D I'm gonna go oogle the first guy again. 8D Tattoos really do it for me.