(no subject)
I no longer have a grandmother. She is dead, as far as I'm concerned. She doesnt want to see me either. She refused to come over to our house for barbeque because I was there. I found out that that is why she was not over for Easter. She refused to come over since I was home. She has been getting so much worse recently. I had a long talk with my mom last night and I told her that I do not want to see her ever again. She has done and said some horrible things lately, not just to me. I told my mom that I can tell them when I plan to come home to visit, so they know that she is not to be over at the house. Or if they plan to have her over when I'm home, then I will just not come. For holidays and everything, if she will be over, I will stay in Tampa. My mom said that it would be fine, and not to worry because I come before grandma. If I plan to come home, grandma will not be allowed over. She said it was probably a good idea actually. I won't have to put up with all the mental abuse that my mom and dad do. I have put up with more shit from her then I have ever put up with from anyone. I was always told growing up, not to say anything back to her. I was a child and I had to respect her. I had to sit there and take it, whatever she said, and not say or do anything. As an adult now, I can choose not to have a relationship with her. My mom actually wants to see her as little as possible herself. I don't know how my mom can take it. Grandma will sit there and say horrible things about her religion, her family, her role as a mother and wife, and my mom just sits there and says nothing. She says that Grandma is just looking to start a fight and she doesnt want to give her the satisfaction. There is no way I could do that. I hate that they both have to deal with it still. My dad has been dealing with this mental abuse from his mother for over 50 years. He still sees her though, because she is his mother and he feels it is his duty. The psychologist has pointed out how this abuse has affected him, in his ability to form relationships and other things. He has never been very close to my brothers or I. It wasn't that he didnt love us. More just that he didnt know us. He is starting to work on that now though. He tries to talk to me more when I call instead of just saying "well here's your mom".
I guess this is kind of a ranting entry. This has just been on my mind lately and really bothering me. I feel horrible about thinking this, but I will be so glad when grandma dies. I hope that doesnt make me a bad person. I don't hate her, because I know she is incredibly ill, mentally. But everyone's lives will be so much better when she is gone.
I guess this is kind of a ranting entry. This has just been on my mind lately and really bothering me. I feel horrible about thinking this, but I will be so glad when grandma dies. I hope that doesnt make me a bad person. I don't hate her, because I know she is incredibly ill, mentally. But everyone's lives will be so much better when she is gone.