(no subject)
Today as part of my counselling course we had a personal development day and and the topic was abuse.
In the afternoon we sat in a circle so we could talk about our own experiences. I wasn't planning to say anything, but after a couple of people had talked about things there was a bit of a silence and I just started talking.
I told them about being bullied at school and about how I spent years trying to beat my sister at things. The discussion in the morning had made me realise that as I started being bullied less I started doing things to myself. So I said that I hardly ate for a long time, that developed into making myself sick and that developed into 'other ways of harming myself'.
A bit later I talked about Emily and how I always feel guilty because she had so much more to live for than me, and it should have been the other way round.
Through everything I said I was seriously shaking, my voice was shaking, but I said it.
I'm quite proud of myself.
I think I need alcohol though, I think I deserve it as well :)
In the afternoon we sat in a circle so we could talk about our own experiences. I wasn't planning to say anything, but after a couple of people had talked about things there was a bit of a silence and I just started talking.
I told them about being bullied at school and about how I spent years trying to beat my sister at things. The discussion in the morning had made me realise that as I started being bullied less I started doing things to myself. So I said that I hardly ate for a long time, that developed into making myself sick and that developed into 'other ways of harming myself'.
A bit later I talked about Emily and how I always feel guilty because she had so much more to live for than me, and it should have been the other way round.
Through everything I said I was seriously shaking, my voice was shaking, but I said it.
I'm quite proud of myself.
I think I need alcohol though, I think I deserve it as well :)