Men!
J has had a serious problem with smoking in the past. It didn't matter to me before, then he made this huge deal about giving up, and he actually did it. I was sooooooooo proud of him and constantly told him. He changed completely as a person, and for the better. He wasnt always stoned for starters and had stopped smoking cigarettes too. This showed me he could dedicate to something and succeed to see it through. I adored this change in him, not because he had stopped smoking, but because he committed to a responsibility.
Then I find out he had been having sneaky cigarettes behind my back and not telling me about them. This upset me, not because he smoked, but because he hid it from me so as not to dissapoint me. So, I forgave him and he told me he wouldn't do it again.
But he did. Obviously I was a bit weary at first, because I didn't trust him, so I was constantly asking him if he'd had a smoke. He told me over and over again to my face, swore on my life that he hadn't. But I caught him out and he had. I was fuming. I told him nicely over and over before, that if he had, I'd understand, just as long as he was truthful and didnt lie to me. But he still continued to lie to me.
I tried to be understanding, supportive and there for him. But he still lied.
Unfortunately, this happened another couple of times, and now, I have no trust what-so-ever. It's not even about the smoking. It's the fact that someone who supposed to love me could lie so easily to my face over and over again. It scares me. I can't be with someone who lies to me and i'm hurt. I don't know what to do, I don't know if we could work through this problem, but I know I can't take being lied to. I don't have a clue what to do. I'm scared of throwing everything away, but it's clear he doesn't have a problem when it comes to lying to me. I don't know what to do.
Any Ideas?
:-(