i didn't mean to waste your time
Ok, it's time to write. I've been feeling kinda out-of-sorts with my emotions lately. I don't really know what that means, but it's like I am unable to feel a wide range of emotions. I'm on mood-stablizers for being bipolar, but I think they are making me too stable. Does that make sense? And then there's the ongoing issue of feeling pathetic since I have to rely on medication. I've been on medication since I was 16 (seven years), and I wonder how long it will continue. I'd like to be "okay" on my own, but I'm too scared to try. Especially right now, when things are super stressful in my life. School is killing me, I'm trying to work for my sister, and I broke up with Emily. On top of that, I live with my mother who is always on my case and I am missing my Welsh family terribly. I basically just miss my life in Wales--not having to worry about all of this shit here at home. Ugh sometimes I want to go back and not worry about school. I seriously hate it. I'm not someone who thrives on getting an education, who loves being in that environment. It just pulls me down. It sucks because I know I need to get a degree, I want to get a degree, but it's so fucking hard!!!
I haven't had time to write poetry, which makes me sad. I love writing, and I feel out of touch with myself when I don't. I haven't really been able to read any, either, since all I read are textbooks. Fun.
So yeah, Emily and I broke up. It's not something I can really delve into on a public place such as livejournal. Let's just say it's hard for both of us (as is to be expected) and I feel like an asshole. And it doesn't help that we live together. But I'm sure it'll all be ok in the end; it'll just take time.
I voted early. GO OBAMA! I'm excited about election day. My mother and I are going to the Democratic headquarters for the party. It should be fun (at least for a minute, haha). It's insane how big this election is. I think I'm going to volunteer tomorrow by doing door-hangings. Gotta contribute somehow if I wanna see Obama win.
I think that's enough for today.
I haven't had time to write poetry, which makes me sad. I love writing, and I feel out of touch with myself when I don't. I haven't really been able to read any, either, since all I read are textbooks. Fun.
So yeah, Emily and I broke up. It's not something I can really delve into on a public place such as livejournal. Let's just say it's hard for both of us (as is to be expected) and I feel like an asshole. And it doesn't help that we live together. But I'm sure it'll all be ok in the end; it'll just take time.
I voted early. GO OBAMA! I'm excited about election day. My mother and I are going to the Democratic headquarters for the party. It should be fun (at least for a minute, haha). It's insane how big this election is. I think I'm going to volunteer tomorrow by doing door-hangings. Gotta contribute somehow if I wanna see Obama win.
I think that's enough for today.