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Holy shit on a stick! I can't EVEN begin to tell you how FREAKED beyond belief I am about my boards. If I wanted to, I could probably make myself throw up right now...or give myself some massive diarrhea...diarrhea lasting for more than two consecutive potty trips, Hol. I have SO much anxiety over this fucking test that my wisdom tooth extraction (which details I do NOT have the energy to get into right now) looks like a walk in da park! I have spent two sleepless nights tossing, turning, and obsessing over my impending doom or eventual success...which, I do not know, and it is because of this uncertainty and incredible doubt in myself that I feel completely UNSAFE and UNPREPARED no matter what. It's like, NO ONE is safe in this exam. You could be incredibly stupid and have a stroke of good luck and pass or be incredibly bright, be so nervous, and fail miserably. It's ridiculous. I got thru four years of nursing school, and five years of college, goddamnit! Isn't that shit enuf??? I'm going to have to take some Ativan tonite just to sleep. THANK GOD I have some left over from my surgery! I'm going to need it. I seriously think I'm going to have to be carried in. Everything in my future is riding on this fucken test, it's too much. It's like R said: I'm 99% meltdown, 1% open the book. I know I'm going to get to the center, sit in front of that computer, and the second the first screen pops up, I"m going to puke my guts out all over the keyboard. Will you all still love me if I'm not an R.N.? This morning at 3 a.m., I got up because I couldn't sleep and started studying because I was convinced that I hadn't studied enuf yesterday. I went to see R, came home, put on some techno and danced the shit out of my body until I thought I was going to collapse. I NEED to expend all this anxiety!!!!!!!