(no subject)
I think the financial trouble started eleven years ago, when my family sold the house we owned and moved to a house we started paying rent for. And shortly after that, my dad moved to Korea. Being young, I was unaware of the financial struggles for most of the nine years we lived there. But I started catching on when the landlord's wife would often stop by or call to remind my mom to pay the rent.
By the end of the nine years, our landlord sold the house, so we had to move. And I found out that my mom had been several months behind on paying rent, but I guess our Chinese landlord was generous enough to let us stay all that time. I thank God so much for that.
It's been two years at this new house. Still renting. And struggling more than ever. The rent costs more than what my mom makes. Try to figure that one out. She also has to make payments for credit card bills, utilities, cell phones. My mom has borrowed money from friends so many times to make ends meet. The money from my brother's busboy job at the pizza shop is helping a lot. But it's still so hard!!!! I get so frustrated. It's mainly her problem, but I get so worried for her. I put myself in her shoes and become stressed and angry and afraid and frustrated with our financial situation. Angry because she doesn't rely on God with this whole situation. Angry because it's happening to us. Frustrated because my dad isn't helping at all. Scared that we will lose our house. I was lying in bed the other night thinking about it and really got a headache. Of course I pray so hard for God to provide, and I give my mom every penny of the money I make at my jobs, but it's really painful to see her go through it.
Given my family's financial situation, I'm very limited in what I spend my money on. Yet, I (unlike my mom) do no stress or worry about it at all. Because I put my full trust in God to provide. And he does! So many times in so many ways, and I've got dozens of great stories to prove it.
Despite such financial difficulties, I feel sooo incredibly blessed: We live in a decent neighborhood and house/apt (and managed to keep it these past 2 years), I attend Ithaca College (although it costs a fortune), we have plenty of food to eat, and my mom has a promising job.
I'm also thankful for the good that has come from it: I get tons of opportunities to trust in God and it builds my faith incredibly, I appreciate things more, I learned to spend money wisely, and I'm able to empathize with people who are in similar situations. I really want to be able to bless others with anything they are in need of. I want to become rich just so I can give away money to people who truly need it, and just help people and bless them in this way.
Finally writing this all down has helped. I never would have thought it would.
By the end of the nine years, our landlord sold the house, so we had to move. And I found out that my mom had been several months behind on paying rent, but I guess our Chinese landlord was generous enough to let us stay all that time. I thank God so much for that.
It's been two years at this new house. Still renting. And struggling more than ever. The rent costs more than what my mom makes. Try to figure that one out. She also has to make payments for credit card bills, utilities, cell phones. My mom has borrowed money from friends so many times to make ends meet. The money from my brother's busboy job at the pizza shop is helping a lot. But it's still so hard!!!! I get so frustrated. It's mainly her problem, but I get so worried for her. I put myself in her shoes and become stressed and angry and afraid and frustrated with our financial situation. Angry because she doesn't rely on God with this whole situation. Angry because it's happening to us. Frustrated because my dad isn't helping at all. Scared that we will lose our house. I was lying in bed the other night thinking about it and really got a headache. Of course I pray so hard for God to provide, and I give my mom every penny of the money I make at my jobs, but it's really painful to see her go through it.
Given my family's financial situation, I'm very limited in what I spend my money on. Yet, I (unlike my mom) do no stress or worry about it at all. Because I put my full trust in God to provide. And he does! So many times in so many ways, and I've got dozens of great stories to prove it.
Despite such financial difficulties, I feel sooo incredibly blessed: We live in a decent neighborhood and house/apt (and managed to keep it these past 2 years), I attend Ithaca College (although it costs a fortune), we have plenty of food to eat, and my mom has a promising job.
I'm also thankful for the good that has come from it: I get tons of opportunities to trust in God and it builds my faith incredibly, I appreciate things more, I learned to spend money wisely, and I'm able to empathize with people who are in similar situations. I really want to be able to bless others with anything they are in need of. I want to become rich just so I can give away money to people who truly need it, and just help people and bless them in this way.
Finally writing this all down has helped. I never would have thought it would.