today is a special day...
not only is today miss brookie's birthday, but ladies and gentlmen... today is me and charleston's one year anniversary...
that's right, exactly one year ago today, probably around this time i was rolling into town and me and my mom were fighting about how exactly to get the uhaul down tiny sires street while kenny brown and al were trying to carry my huge couch up the creaky stairs.
i walked into my apartment with no carpet and it was filthy, and i had no running water. but it was home. i was finally home. it was the worst and the greatest day of my life.
i can't believe it's been a whole year. here's something that i wrote in my journal last year around this time:
"i just have to take a minute to be mushy and ridiculous. bear with me. i am so happy here. i know it's only been three days and there is a lot of harship to come but i can't imagine anything being so bad that i can't deal with it. if work starts to suck all i have to do is remember that when i get off work, i can go hang out in charleston. now all this glitter will wear off eventually i'm sure, but i'm going to try my hardest to hang on. i love this city so much and here's hoping i never get sick of it."
go ahead, make fun of me. you kow you wanna. =) the good news is, though i am poor as hell and facing possible unemployment, and my car being towed on two different occasions (with several other threatening close calls), having electricity and water cut off at least once each, not being able to pay a cell phone bill for about 6 months, and dealing with the occasional run in with a scary individual in my neigborhood, i'm still so fucking happy it's ridiculous.
the thing is, through all the bull shit, all the sorostitutes, indie rock ego mania, dumb tourists, terrible traffic, horrible parking, hot sticky weather, shitty job after shitty job, nasty river funk that gives us that good old "history" smell, i'm still fucking here and i love it. i've done this on my own, and as much as my mother wants to bitch about me being here, she can't say shit because she doesn't pay for anything. my shitty ghetto apartment is all mine. my friends, my sisters, everyone i've met/reconnected with in this town makes it all so very worth it. i'm so full of love it's grossing me out. i must stop this gushing...
this song is about 75% of the reason i moved here. i know that's lame, but sometimes when a stoner hears the right song at the right moment, it will light a fire under her ass and make her move to a whole new state for a whole new life....
ice-age heat wave, can't complain. if the world's at large, why should i remain? walked away to another plan. gonna find another place, maybe one i can stand. i move on to another day, to a whole new town with a whole new way. went to the porch to have a thought. got to the door and again, i couldn't stop. you don't know where and you don't know when. but you still got your words and you got your friends. walk along to another day. work a little harder, work another way. well uh-uh baby i ain't got no plan. we'll float on maybe would you understand? gonna float on maybe would you understand? well float on maybe would you understand? the days get shorter and the nights get cold. i like the autumn but this place is getting old. i pack up my belongings and i head for the coast. it might not be a lot but i feel like i'm making the most. the days get longer and the nights smell green. i guess it's not surprising but it's spring and i should leave. i like songs about drifters - books about the same. they both seem to make me feel a little less insane. walked on off to another spot. i still haven't gotten anywhere that i want. did i want love? did i need to know? why does it always feel like i'm caught in an undertow? the moths beat themselves to death against the lights. adding their breeze to the summer nights. outside, water like air was great. i didn't know what i had that day. walk a little farther to another plan. you said that you did, but you didn't understand. i know that starting over is not what life's about. but my thoughts were so loud i couldn't hear my mouth. my thoughts were so loud i couldn't hear my mouth. my thoughts were so loud.
~i. brock