Machinus Dei - chapter 1 edit
Hi, alot of improvements were suggested for this first chapter (and were highly appreciated!), so I've done a rewrite of the rewrite, and I give to you now Chapter 1: mark 2!
Title: Machinus Dei
Chapter: 1
Warnings: one swearword, but otherwise worksafe.
notes: original fic - you steal, you'll regret it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
CHAPTER 1
Clouds swirled below Raziel. Standing atop the outcrop of gilded silver and vaulted ebony pillars, he surveyed the world below him with a mixture of pity and disdain. The glass and stone below his feet descended for hundreds of feet into the cloud layer to their invisible foundations. The viewing platforms of Heaven were in place to allow the immortals to gaze upon the earthly realms. They were crafted from dark stone and silver, unlike the gilt gold and white marble of the rest of heaven, to remind them that in essence they were no better than the mortals that dwelt there; they were merely keepers of their realms and the souls within, until the return of the Creator.
Raziel stood upon the rising monoliths and wondered how many more centuries he would waste there watching the world below sickening with neglect. Possibly not as long as he suspected; the demigod Tidus had visited him earlier that day, bringing with him news of the upcoming arrival of a new elemental spirit, Luna, to the Council.
A gathering of the most powerful spirits, entities and angels. Opposed to the very stagnation and politics that dictated the ins and outs of Heaven of late. Salvation, hope, justice. The Council. They discussed in secret, had their own ranks of deities, even had spies in Heaven itself. Their aim: to overthrow the growing threat of the very one to whom they owed existence - God.
Not that there was not a Hellforce that did not oppose God also. The Council had no truck for revenge and outright treachery against the Creator himself, they were too careful for that. No, they sought to bring order and balance to the Universe once more; to rule Heaven in fairness, when all sides were reduced to pettiness and corruption.
Not that mortal lives were of consequence to most immortals anyway. They were simply pawns, used to bait and trade with; a currency for the higher beings that mortals so infrequently saw and even less truly believed in anymore. That was a strong disadvantage. Not enough believers anymore. Anarchy and science had laid waste to most of that, now. Not many devoted religious people left to fuel the Creator’s attention-seeking needs, Raziel contemplated bitterly. Not enough to keep him happy. Not enough ha. He created the universe, and somehow perfection became totally fucked up just the same as if He hadn’t bothered!
Luna would be another player on the big game board of universal control and influence, one more on their side, one more to accumulate power for their purposes. They were not corrupt, just sick of all the filth and scum that had come from the Creator’s negligence of his own precious creations. His humans. They desired above all else a return to order; to try and salvage the wreckage of the world below, and most of all to find the Creator and forge a democracy in his stead.
He sighed, casting his sight downwards, towards the world below him. His powerful luminescent eyes glowed faintly as he allowed his eyes to take him down to the earthly realms below. Disdainfully, he scanned the cacophony of vehicle noises, people talking and going about their short, pointless lives. He couldn’t understand them. At first they had looked promising, but centuries of being left to their own devices had taken their toll on a now pathetic race. A twinge of sorrow cut sharply through him. Poor creatures, he observed. Raziel could remember a time when they were once proud and strong, when they had used their own powers. Those had long since dwindled into myth and legend. So sad, he thought to himself, so sad that they have wasted the promising talent they once possessed on science and logic.
“Raziel.” Shadows took form behind him, warping into solidity, becoming so much more than an absence of light. Horns, and glowing red embers for eyes. Kindred. A deep, forbidding voice arose from the shadows, no mouth movement discernable in the shifting darkness.
“Raziel.”
He turned his head in acknowledgement. “What has been done to them?” he asked, almost a whisper in the face of his despair. “Can we ever return them to how they were? Help them find themselves again? Argaeon?”
The shadow dipped in height, to see for himself the world below. “What has been corrupted can always be salvaged, Raziel.” Argaeon drew himself up behind him, laying a huge, clawed hand on Raziel’s shoulder. “But what has happened can never be forgiven. Raziel, remember our plan, remember that we can’t let Him do it again.”
“I know. Justice must be carried out.” Raziel turned to face his mentor, his friend. “I want to see him answer for what he has done.”
crossposted to fictionwriters and the_writers_ink
Title: Machinus Dei
Chapter: 1
Warnings: one swearword, but otherwise worksafe.
notes: original fic - you steal, you'll regret it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
CHAPTER 1
Clouds swirled below Raziel. Standing atop the outcrop of gilded silver and vaulted ebony pillars, he surveyed the world below him with a mixture of pity and disdain. The glass and stone below his feet descended for hundreds of feet into the cloud layer to their invisible foundations. The viewing platforms of Heaven were in place to allow the immortals to gaze upon the earthly realms. They were crafted from dark stone and silver, unlike the gilt gold and white marble of the rest of heaven, to remind them that in essence they were no better than the mortals that dwelt there; they were merely keepers of their realms and the souls within, until the return of the Creator.
Raziel stood upon the rising monoliths and wondered how many more centuries he would waste there watching the world below sickening with neglect. Possibly not as long as he suspected; the demigod Tidus had visited him earlier that day, bringing with him news of the upcoming arrival of a new elemental spirit, Luna, to the Council.
A gathering of the most powerful spirits, entities and angels. Opposed to the very stagnation and politics that dictated the ins and outs of Heaven of late. Salvation, hope, justice. The Council. They discussed in secret, had their own ranks of deities, even had spies in Heaven itself. Their aim: to overthrow the growing threat of the very one to whom they owed existence - God.
Not that there was not a Hellforce that did not oppose God also. The Council had no truck for revenge and outright treachery against the Creator himself, they were too careful for that. No, they sought to bring order and balance to the Universe once more; to rule Heaven in fairness, when all sides were reduced to pettiness and corruption.
Not that mortal lives were of consequence to most immortals anyway. They were simply pawns, used to bait and trade with; a currency for the higher beings that mortals so infrequently saw and even less truly believed in anymore. That was a strong disadvantage. Not enough believers anymore. Anarchy and science had laid waste to most of that, now. Not many devoted religious people left to fuel the Creator’s attention-seeking needs, Raziel contemplated bitterly. Not enough to keep him happy. Not enough ha. He created the universe, and somehow perfection became totally fucked up just the same as if He hadn’t bothered!
Luna would be another player on the big game board of universal control and influence, one more on their side, one more to accumulate power for their purposes. They were not corrupt, just sick of all the filth and scum that had come from the Creator’s negligence of his own precious creations. His humans. They desired above all else a return to order; to try and salvage the wreckage of the world below, and most of all to find the Creator and forge a democracy in his stead.
He sighed, casting his sight downwards, towards the world below him. His powerful luminescent eyes glowed faintly as he allowed his eyes to take him down to the earthly realms below. Disdainfully, he scanned the cacophony of vehicle noises, people talking and going about their short, pointless lives. He couldn’t understand them. At first they had looked promising, but centuries of being left to their own devices had taken their toll on a now pathetic race. A twinge of sorrow cut sharply through him. Poor creatures, he observed. Raziel could remember a time when they were once proud and strong, when they had used their own powers. Those had long since dwindled into myth and legend. So sad, he thought to himself, so sad that they have wasted the promising talent they once possessed on science and logic.
“Raziel.” Shadows took form behind him, warping into solidity, becoming so much more than an absence of light. Horns, and glowing red embers for eyes. Kindred. A deep, forbidding voice arose from the shadows, no mouth movement discernable in the shifting darkness.
“Raziel.”
He turned his head in acknowledgement. “What has been done to them?” he asked, almost a whisper in the face of his despair. “Can we ever return them to how they were? Help them find themselves again? Argaeon?”
The shadow dipped in height, to see for himself the world below. “What has been corrupted can always be salvaged, Raziel.” Argaeon drew himself up behind him, laying a huge, clawed hand on Raziel’s shoulder. “But what has happened can never be forgiven. Raziel, remember our plan, remember that we can’t let Him do it again.”
“I know. Justice must be carried out.” Raziel turned to face his mentor, his friend. “I want to see him answer for what he has done.”
crossposted to fictionwriters and the_writers_ink