Scrubs - "My Musical"
The most amazing song ever from the most amazing episode of the most amazing show!!!
Everything Comes Down To Poo!
JD: Hey Miss Miller,
We just need a stool sample.
Patient: Why do you need a stool sample, if you think I’m just a nut?
JD & Turk: ‘Cause the answer’s not in your head my dear,
It’s in your butt.
JD: You see…
Everything comes down to poo.
From the top of your head to the sole of your shoe.
We can figure out what’s wrong with you
By looking’ at your poo.
Turk: Do you have a hemorrhoid or is it rectal cancer?
When you flush your dookie down you flush away the answer.
JD: It doesn’t really matter if it’s hard or if it’s loose.
We’ll figure out what’s wrong with you as long as it’s a deuce.
YES!
Everything comes down to poo.
(Everything comes down to poo.)
Cardiovascular and lymphatic, yes the nervous system too.
All across the nation, we trust in defecation.
Everything comes down to poo.
Turk: If you want to know what’s wrong,
Don’t sit and act so cool.
Just be a man and eat some bread
And drop the kids off at the pool.
Woman: My stomach hurts.
JD: Check the poo.
Woman #2: I sprained my ankle.
Turk: Check the poo.
Man: I was shot.
JD: Check the poo.
Man #2: A homeless guy threw poo in my eye.
Turk: Check the poo.
Man #2: Mine or his?
JD: First him, then you.
JD: It may sound gross.
You may say shush.
Turk & JD: But we need to see
What comes out of your tush!
Because…
Everything comes down to poo,
Whether it’s a tumor or a touch of the flu.
Please won’t you pinch us off a big fat clue?
Turk: Our number one test is your number two!
Everyone: If there’s no grease
Light a match please.
Everything comes down to…
Turk: Doo doo,
JD: Doo doo,
Turk: Doo doo,
JD: Doo doo!
Everyone: Everything comes down to
Poo!