Fic: The Shadows Thrown [Glee]
Title: The Shadows Thrown
Author: purplehrdwonder
Rating: PG-13
Genre/pairing: Sebastian/Blaine
Characters: Blaine, Sebastian, Kurt, Cooper, Burt, Carole, Finn
Word count: 5,900
Spoilers: Through 4x22
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
Summary: As the weather cooled, Blaine and Sebastian tried to avoid the pitfalls that had taken them on a roller coaster over the summer, but certain hurts, some older than others, still lingered. Ninth in the Not Words 'verse.
Author’s Note: This installment is dedicated to one of my favorite people, moviegeek03, for her birthday earlier this week. Story title comes from the Mumford & Sons song “Lover of the Light.”
The Shadows Thrown
Summer eventually faded into fall, which forced Blaine and Sebastian into a completely new set of routines with the start of the new school year. Sebastian ended up renting an apartment midway between Blaine’s place and Columbia; it was practically closet-sized, but it was all his and they’d begun taking advantage of the privacy it afforded practically before the ink on the rental contract was dry.
Blaine re-signed his lease with Sam and Tina, though the rhythms of the apartment were also in flux. In the last weeks of summer, Blaine had his internship during the day-and before it ended, he had the chance to record a demo in the studio, which he proudly showed off to all his friends and planned to work on with his professors once school started back up-and he spent most evenings with Sebastian.
Meanwhile, Tina was frequently absent as she worked days and spent more time with Andrew after her shifts; they were becoming more serious than Blaine had expected after their first date, though he was happy for her. Sam, for his part, went on a few casual dates but wasn’t interested in seeing anyone seriously-he was trying to focus on his schoolwork, he said, since he had to keep his grades up to keep both his job and his scholarship.
Despite their mismatched schedules, though, the trio kept a standing bi-weekly roommate date night that Blaine refused break even when Sebastian attempted bribing him.
“It’s Evans’ lips, isn’t it?” Sebastian said with the air of someone solving a great mystery one evening as Blaine pulled his shirt back on and slipped his shoes on to head back for roommate night. “That’s how you can turn down sex for a movie night.”
Blaine laughed lightly. “You noticed those, did you?”
Sebastian snorted as Blaine opened the door and turned around to face him. “It’s impossible not to,” he said, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed against his bare chest. “Just imagine-”
“Oh, I have.”
Sebastian raised an impressed eyebrow. “Look at you, Anderson.”
Blaine turned pink and ducked his head. “It was senior year and I was lonely. And Sam doesn’t have much sense of personal space.”
“And does Lips McGee know about said fantasies?”
Blaine nodded and scratched the back of his neck. “He does. More or less. I guess I’m not exactly subtle.”
“Did you serenade him with a Robin Thicke song?”
Blaine groaned. “I swear I am going to kill whoever told you about that.” But then his lips twitched and he glanced up at Sebastian mischievously. “But no, it was Phil Collins.”
Sebastian’s eyes widened, but Blaine leaned up to kiss him on the lips before walking away with a wave before he could respond.
Once classes started in earnest, Sebastian and Blaine had to work to make time for each other since their workloads had picked up. They spent weekday afternoons and evenings on each other’s couches with takeout containers and textbooks open in front of them. Weekends were spent in bed, wandering around the city, and hanging out with their friends, who were starting to overlap. Sam and James met over Labor Day and become quick friends, resulting in Sam being routinely invited to game nights at Columbia. Blaine continued playing open mic nights at Aroma, and he was often accompanied by Tina’s clear vocals, Sam on guitar, or both; they were crowd favorites.
As the weather cooled and the semester stretched on, they tried to avoid the pitfalls that had taken them on a roller coaster over the summer, but certain hurts still lingered just below the surface. On one particularly volatile night, Sebastian cut their dinner short and accused Blaine of eye-fucking their waiter, who bore a passing resemblance to Kurt.
“I think I’ve spent enough time watching you look at other people you want instead of me to know what it looks like, Blaine,” he’d said, leaving Blaine to assure him that he was only being polite to the waiter and that he still had no interest in getting back together with his ex, whom he hadn’t spoken with since Nationals.
And if Blaine had borne a few more marks on his body than usual the next day, well, he didn’t exactly mind Sebastian leaving hickeys, just as long as his clothes hid them.
And so the days passed.
-----
Lying in bed, Blaine was loose-limbed and sated-and, more importantly, Sebastian was the same-when he brought up what he’d been thinking about for a while now. Sebastian was upright, leaning against the headboard with the sheets pooled around his waist, as he looked down at Blaine, eyes widening.
“You want me to meet your parents?” he echoed in disbelief. And had Blaine detected a hint of panic?
Blaine raised an eyebrow. “That’s what I said.”
“You’re joking, right?”
Blaine frowned. “No. We’re both going home for Thanksgiving next week, and my parents want to meet the guy I’m going to Paris with. Plus, without Cooper, Thanksgiving is exponentially less crazy as far as holidays go.” He turned onto his side to face Sebastian. “Why? What’s wrong?”
Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. “I-”
A thought struck Blaine then and he sat up. “Does Sebastian Smythe not do parents?” he asked. “Because the last time I checked, Bas, you said you didn’t do boyfriends either, yet here we are. Not to mention,” he added, “I’ve met your mother and her boyfriend.”
Sebastian muttered something that sounded suspiciously like exception, and Blaine stifled a pleased laugh.
“Seriously though,” he said, smirk slipping, “what is it?” His parents might want to meet Sebastian before Blaine left for a week and a half in Paris in January, but if Sebastian wasn’t comfortable, Blaine wouldn’t push the issue.
Sebastian sighed. “It’s just- What am I supposed to say to your parents? ‘Hello Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, my name is Sebastian and I’m the guy who put your son in the hospital a couple years ago’?” He shook his head with a derisive snort and fell silent.
Ah.
“Bas,” Blaine said, reaching for Sebastian’s hand and rubbing the back of it gently while he waited for the other boy to look at him. “Are you sorry for the slushie?”
Sebastian grimaced, looking slightly sick. “You know I am.”
Blaine gave him a small smile. “And I told you, I forgave you a long time ago. Maybe one day you’ll actually believe it.” Sebastian clenched his jaw, and Blaine sighed. “They don’t have to know.”
Sebastian started at that. “What?”
Blaine kissed the back of his hand. “My family,” he clarified. “I never told them who threw the slushie, so they don’t need to know you were involved. We’re both past it, and that’s all that matters.”
Though Blaine had a feeling his family wouldn’t think that way if they found out, just as a number of his New Directions friends hadn’t when he and Sebastian had first made things official. They’d eventually come around, but they’d still sworn to watch Sebastian like a hawk.
“Blaine.” There didn’t seem to be anything following that, and Blaine grinned. It was rare that Sebastian was left at a loss for words.
“So how about,” Blaine continued as though Sebastian hadn’t interrupted him, “you say, ‘Hello Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, my name is Sebastian and I’m the guy dating your son.’” He had a few other far schmaltzier responses he could replace that with to tease Sebastian, but he figured he’d give him a break for the moment.
“Well that definitely sounds better than, ‘I’m the guy ravishing your son on a daily basis,’” Sebastian acknowledged.
Blaine laughed. “Ravishing, I like it.”
Sebastian shrugged, lips pulling up into a full smirk, which told Blaine that he’d won. “Well, ‘I’m the guy fucking your son on a daily basis’ seems a bit crude for the dinner table.”
Blaine snorted and smacked Sebastian in the leg. “Your manners are impeccable, Mr. Smythe.”
“So I’ve been told,” he replied, a mischievous look in his eye.
Blaine yelped as Sebastian launched himself at him, rolling them so Blaine was on his back and Sebastian hovering over him. Blaine gasped in laughter as Sebastian murmured into Blaine’s jawline, “Now, about that ravishing…”
-----
Blaine shut the front door, drowning out the sounds of the television in the living room and the clink of dishes in the kitchen, and sat down next to Sebastian on the Andersons’ front step. Sebastian was looking over the neighborhood with a blank expression on his face. Blaine nudged him with his elbow.
“You okay?”
“You tell me.”
“They liked you, Sebastian.” Sebastian had turned on the charm over dinner, and Blaine had caught his mother smiling as she looked between them and his father watching Sebastian with an approving look on his face.
Sebastian sighed and ran a hand wearily over his face. Blaine watched him curiously, unsure of what to make of his frustration. Dinner had gone better than he could’ve hoped, yet for some reason Sebastian seemed upset that it had gone well. There had been an underlying melancholy to Sebastian since his grandmother’s passing, and Blaine couldn’t help but wonder if that was somehow at play now.
“Why didn’t you tell them?”
It took Blaine a moment to register what Sebastian was asking. They’d been intentionally vague at dinner about how they’d known each other in high school-saying they met on one of Blaine’s visits back to Dalton but fell out of touch; not technically lies, but they weren’t complete truths either.
“We talked about tha-”
But Sebastian shook his head. “No, I mean in high school. Why didn’t you tell them junior year?”
Blaine frowned and looked out over his street, pressing his chest to his knees. After it had first happened and his surgery, he’d been too hopped up on painkillers to feel much of anything. But once he started reducing his doses and eventually went off the drugs completely, the anger started to build. It had been weeks before he’d been able to start boxing again, too, which made handling the anger he’d felt-at the Warblers, at Sebastian, at the memories the incident had dredged up-harder to deal with.
But through it all, he’d never told his parents who had thrown the slushie that night. He told them he couldn’t remember much in the moments before or after it had happened. That had been the case after the dance, so his parents didn’t have any reason not to believe him.
Blaine shut his eyes a moment before opening them again. He could see Sebastian looking at him in his periphery, but he didn’t look back. “Because there wouldn’t have been any point.”
“What-”
“There was no evidence,” Blaine said, cutting Sebastian off. He thought Sebastian might have stiffened at that, but he couldn’t bring himself to look. While he’d forgiven Sebastian for that night, the situation itself-the lack of recourse that he had in the aftermath, just like after the dance-still left a bitter taste in his mouth.
“I knew that if I told my parents, we’d just be pulled into another lengthy round of litigation that would boil down to he said, he said. And no one ever believes the gay public school kid.” Blaine sighed and glanced back toward the house. “I just didn’t want to put them through that again. Not when I knew exactly what would happen.”
“Bitter,” Sebastian commented.
Blaine shrugged. “Maybe. But that’s not on you.”
“How could that possibly not be on me?”
“Your dad might be a State’s Attorney, but he doesn’t control the legal system. It is what it is.” Blaine had resigned himself to that fact years ago.
They fell silent after that, Blaine getting lost in memories he’d thought long since buried. Those months had been rough for him.
Finally, Sebastian pushed himself to his feet and glanced down at Blaine with a wan smile as he adjusted his scarf. Blaine looked up at him, his insides twisting with an emotion he couldn’t quite pinpoint.
“I’ll see you later, Killer.”
“Goodnight, Bas.”
-----
There was a strange tension between Blaine and Sebastian when they got back to New York. They studied for finals, wrote papers, and finished up projects in each other’s apartments as usual, but they spoke less than usual, and Sebastian swung between extremes in bed, some nights as possessive as the night of their aborted date and others almost hesitant to even touch Blaine.
And as much as Blaine knew they needed to talk about what was going on, he couldn’t bring himself to broach the subject. Over Christmas, he told himself. He’d bring it up over Christmas vacation when neither of them had other things to worry about. Definitely before they left for Paris; Sebastian would be leaving early as per his usual arrangements, and Blaine would join him a few days later. They’d then fly back to New York in time for classes to start again.
So they finished out the semester with an uncomfortable atmosphere underlying their time together that had even Sam and Tina shooting him worried looks when they thought he wasn’t looking.
When they got back to Ohio, Blaine dragged Sebastian Christmas shopping at the Westerville mall again, only for Sebastian to surprise him afterward with a trip to the park near Westerville Elementary where they’d shared their first kiss the previous year. It was a surprisingly romantic gesture, but Sebastian was always doing the last thing Blaine expected. But still Blaine didn’t bring up Sebastian’s hot and cold behavior.
Two days before Christmas, Cooper swooped into town and, on the drive back from the airport, demanded to meet Sebastian.
“The parents got to meet your boy toy,” Cooper pointed out as Blaine drove. Cooper’s flight had arrived midday, so Blaine had been the only one available to pick him up.
“Cooper,” Blaine groaned. “Don’t say-” He shook his head. “Just don’t.”
“C’mon Blainey,” Cooper nearly whined, “Mom and Dad liked this guy, but I want to make sure he’s good enough for you.”
“He’s busy with his family,” Blaine replied, checking his rearview mirror. And that wasn’t a complete lie since he had to go to his father’s holiday party again. “Though I appreciate the sentiment,” he added with a sidelong glance for his brother.
“So, after Christmas.”
“He leaves for Paris on the 27th,” Blaine replied with a shrug before checking his blind spot and switching lanes.
“And you’re going when?”
“On the fourth.”
Cooper pressed his lips into a thin line as he stared out of the windshield. “I don’t like it.”
Blaine raised an eyebrow as he spared a quick glance for Cooper before looking back at the road. “I’m sorry?”
“You’d been dating Kurt for a year before I got to meet him. And how long have you been seeing this new guy again?”
“Nine months.”
“Aha!” Cooper crowed, pointing at Blaine, who couldn’t help but roll his eyes again. “You’re hiding them from me.”
“Yes, I’m hiding my boyfriends from you,” Blaine deadpanned. “I can’t help that you only visit for a few days a year, Coop. Our schedules not meshing isn’t me hiding anyone from you.”
Cooper narrowed his eyes. “You’re hiding something, then. I know you, little brother. And I’m going to find out what it is.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Blaine replied airily, though he realized belatedly that he was chewing the inside of his cheek.
Cooper gave him a pointed look at that but then mercifully launched into a story about the next incarnation of his credit rating commercial they were going to film after the holidays.
-----
Two Andersons? Sebastian responded when Blaine texted him about Cooper later that night. I could make room in my schedule if that ass is genetic.
Cute, Blaine sent back.
You love me.
Blaine shook his head, lips twitching, before typing out, Cooper’s kind of intense. And crazy.
I’ve heard the stories.
Blaine frowned and tapped his phone against his chin, wondering how best to phrase what he wanted to say without actually broaching the subject they weren’t talking about. He’s been pretty protective since Kurt, Blaine eventually sent back.
Is that a challenge?
Blaine shook his head. “Idiot,” he muttered fondly. He’s going to know something’s going on. Something that Blaine, in his cowardice, hadn’t been able to bring himself to ask Sebastian about yet. Something that he suspected had to do with the night Sebastian had met his parents.
*Is* something going on?
Blaine was debating how to respond to that when his phone started ringing in his hand. He started and nearly dropped his phone, and when he glanced at the caller ID he did drop it. There was no name attached to the number, but it was one he’d had memorized for years. But why was he calling now? Part of Blaine wasn’t sure he even wanted to know, but he accepted the call anyway.
“Hello?”
“Blaine, hi,” a familiar, if slightly breathless voice said. “I, uh, wasn’t sure you’d pick up.”
“I promised to always pick up your calls, didn’t I?” Blaine replied, the memory a bittersweet one now with distance between him and then.
“That was a long time ago.”
“I have a good memory.”
“I-Of course.”
Blaine pressed his lips together, waiting. But when no more words were forthcoming, he prompted, “Why are you calling, Kurt?”
Kurt took a shaky breath on the other end that made Blaine instantly wary. “I missed you,” he admitted. “I told you that back in May. But the holidays are all about family, aren’t they? That’s what my dad likes to remind me of, anyway.”
Blaine furrowed his brows, more confused than ever. “Kurt?”
“I think… I think I’m ready. For us to try being friends again. If you are,” Kurt said, quickly backtracking.
“Oh,” was all Blaine could think to say in response.
“We were wondering if you’d like to come over on Christmas night? For old time’s sake.”
Blaine was stunned. He’d spent several Christmas nights with the Hudson-Hummels, usually enjoying dessert over a board game, since his family’s celebrations ended mid-afternoon. But to be asked to join them again? Now when they weren’t dating? “I-”
“If you don’t, I totally understand,” Kurt rushed to add. “But, uh, my dad would really like to see you. And Carole, too.”
“And you?”
“And me. Obviously.” Blaine could almost hear the little smile he knew Kurt wore when he used that tone of voice.
The prospect of rekindling his relationship with the Hudson-Hummel family after all this time made Blaine’s chest clench tightly. They had become a second family to him in the time that he and Kurt had been together, and he’d felt their loss acutely after they’d cut ties. But if they wanted to see him…
“I’d love to.”
“Great!”
“I’d love to,” Blaine plowed on. “But I can’t on Christmas night. Family stuff.” His parents wanted them to spend the entire holiday together this year since they were so spread out anymore.
“Oh,” Kurt said, sounding disappointed. Huh. “Of course.”
“I, uh. Could we do it the next day?” Sebastian had made plans with some of his Dalton lacrosse buddies for Boxing Day, so Blaine wasn’t planning to see him until that evening. “I don’t have anything going on until later that night.”
“That would be perfect, actually. You could come by around lunchtime?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Great.”
“Great.”
An awkward silence fell then, and Kurt finally cleared his throat. “I guess I’ll see you in a few days then.”
“Until then,” Blaine agreed before hanging up. He stared at his phone for a long time before responding to Sebastian’s text.
-----
As Blaine stood on the Hudson-Hummel porch, he felt a brief surge of panic; he’d made a terrible mistake in coming here. The last time he’d been in this house, he’d had his heart shattered into countless pieces that, at times, it still felt like he was recovering and messily gluing back together.
But that was a year a half in the past. A lot had changed in Blaine’s life-in Blaine himself-since that day. He wasn’t the same person who’d fled the house while Kurt was in the shower and his phone blew up with texts from some New York guy. So Blaine pressed the doorbell and waited. After a few seconds, he heard familiar voices calling out and footsteps approaching. And then the door opened, revealing Kurt in a pair of jeans and a dark red shirt.
Blaine’s stomach swooped as he returned Kurt’s hesitant smile, though the heat that used to flood through him whenever he laid eyes on Kurt when they were dating was gone. Yes, Kurt was still incredibly attractive and seeing him made Blaine’s heart ache in a way that reminded him that part of him would always love him, but the desire to act on that attraction was gone. It was almost surreal-it took him back to how he’d felt looking at Kurt before they’d started dating. When they were just friends.
That seemed to cement it for Blaine that he and Kurt really were done, and the tension he’d been carrying in his shoulders since Kurt had called melted away. They could do this-they could just be friends now that they had time and distance between them. Kurt had been a huge part of his life, and he’d never wanted to lose that even if they were no longer together.
“Hi,” Kurt greeted. “I’m glad you made it.” He stepped aside so Blaine could come inside.
Instantly, Blaine was hit by familiar sights and sounds. He could hear Carole and Finn speaking in the kitchen and a football game on the television in the living room. He swallowed as he pulled off his scarf and coat to hang up in the closet.
“I’m glad you called.”
“It was time,” Kurt replied, his small smile widening a bit. He nodded for Blaine to follow him toward the kitchen once he’d slid his boots off.
When they walked into the kitchen, Blaine’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of Carole, Finn, and Burt all standing there. Carole and Finn had been speaking while Burt looked on fondly, but all conversation had died when Kurt and Blaine entered.
“Blaine!” Carole said, crossing the room to hug him. “We’re so glad you could come, sweetie.”
“Thank you for having me, Carole,” Blaine replied, wrapped his arms around her.
“Always so polite, this one,” Carole said with a smile, and Blaine couldn’t help but blush.
“Hey man,” Finn greeted with a wave.
“Hey,” Blaine said, returning the gesture. They’d at least seen each other at Nationals-also the last time Blaine had seen Kurt.
“Well, let’s see him,” Burt said.
Blaine tensed, momentarily worried about what Burt might be thinking of him, but that quickly passed when he saw the smile on the older man’s lips. Burt pulled him into a hug and Blaine sighed him in relief, something settling in place inside him.
“It’s good to see you, kid,” Burt said as he pulled away and clapped Blaine on the shoulder.
“You too, sir.”
“You know how I feel about that ‘sir’ stuff.”
“Sorry, Burt,” Blaine said with a laugh.
Burt looked Blaine up and down before nodding. “How’re you doing? You look good.”
“I’m good,” Blaine said, thinking of the life he’d built for himself in New York. “Really good, actually.”
“Glad to hear it,” Burt nodded.
“And we want to hear all about it over lunch,” Carole added. “Which is almost ready.” She winked at Blaine. “I hope you don’t mind Christmas leftovers.”
“Not at all.”
Carole smiled and shooed him off to the kitchen table, which was already set. Burt joined him while Kurt and Finn helped carry food from the counters to the table.
Once they were all settled down, Burt said, “So you’re at NYU?”
Over lunch, Blaine told the Hudson-Hummels about what he’d been up to-his classes, the open mic nights he played, and his internship. He found himself sharing looks with Kurt, who sat next to him, as Kurt looked happy to hear what Blaine had been up to.
“Kurt says you’re seeing someone,” Carole said before taking a sip of water. Blaine felt more than saw Kurt stiffen next to him.
“I-” Blaine hesitated; Burt and Carole undoubtedly knew that Sebastian had thrown the slushie since Kurt hadn’t had any reason to keep it quiet the way Blaine had. But at the same time, Blaine loved Sebastian. He couldn’t be afraid to acknowledge what they had. “I am. For about nine months now.”
“We’re glad you’re happy, Blaine.” Then Carole promptly changed the subject.
Blaine helped clear the dishes and, in a nostalgic moment, he and Kurt ended up at the sink together, Blaine washing dishes and Kurt drying and putting them away. They talked about New York, comparing their favorite spots and experiences. Kurt told Blaine about his expanding responsibilities at Vogue and the small roles in productions he’d been getting at NYADA.
“Tina sent Santana a video of you at one of your open mic nights,” Kurt said once they’d finished and had each grabbed a glass of water. They settled back down at the kitchen table across from each other. They could hear the football game in the living room where Burt, Carole, and Finn had retired to.
Blaine grimaced, and made a mental note not to let Tina record anything else. “I can’t believe she did that.” He wondered then if it had been a set with a lot of the breakup songs he’d written in his maudlin phase-and then really hoped not.
“Your original stuff is really good,” Kurt said, looking down at his glass. “A bit sad. Emotional.”
Well, that answered that, Blaine thought with a blush. “I didn’t think you’d hear any of that.”
“Please,” Kurt scoffed, “you’re going to be a big star. How would I ever avoid hearing your original songs?” He tilted his head slightly and his lips twitched. “Besides, it’s fine. I get it.” He paused. “Do you think I could come sometime? To see you play?”
Blaine’s eyes widened. “You want to?”
“I’ve always loved watching you perform, Blaine.”
Warmth spread through Blaine’s chest at that. “I’d love that.”
“Send me the information?”
Blaine nodded, recognizing the message for what it was-reopening lines of communication. “I’ll do that.” Blaine returned the smile. “As long as you let me know when you have a performance.”
Kurt smiled as he lifted his glass to his lips. “I’ll do that.”
-----
Eventually they retreated into the living room to join the rest of the family. They ended up pulling out Monopoly while football stayed on low volume in the background. Burt and Carole entered into a silent alliance, buying properties and selling to each other to attempt to take over the board, so Kurt and Blaine followed suit after a single glance; Finn was left on his own, and he quickly fell behind everyone else.
They played long into the afternoon and evening. Carole grabbed snacks and drinks after a few hours, and Blaine lost track of time with the fun he was having with these people he’d missed. The game had reached a stalemate when Blaine’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his back pocket with an apologetic look at his hosts.
His eyes widened as he saw what time it was-after eight. He was supposed to have met Sebastian for dinner at seven-thirty. He had seven texts and two missed calls that he somehow hadn’t noticed-I’m here, Where are you?, Are you on your way? and so on.
Blaine jolted to his feet and quickly responded, I’m sorry, got held up. On my way.
“What is it?” Kurt asked, looking up at him in surprise. “Everything okay?”
“I was supposed to meet someone half an hour ago. I’m so sorry to run,” he apologized.
“Of course,” Carole said as they all rose to follow Blaine to the front hallway. “It was great seeing you.”
Blaine pulled his coat on, looped his scarf over his neck, and stepped into his boots. He shook hands with Finn and was about to do the same with Burt, but the older man hauled him into another hug.
“Don’t be a stranger, Anderson. We miss you around here.”
“Thank you, Burt,” Blaine said, swallowing. Despite his hurry to leave, he couldn’t help the choked up feeling at the sentiment.
When they pulled apart, Blaine glanced at Kurt, who said, “I’ll walk you out.”
“You don’t have to-”
“I’ll walk you out,” Kurt repeated firmly.
Blaine nodded. He glanced down at his buzzing phone while Kurt put a jacket on. Don’t bother. I went home, was Sebastian’s curt reply. He looked back up and waved once more to the Hudson-Hummels, then stepped outside onto the porch as Kurt shut the door behind them.
“Sebastian?” Kurt asked, nodding at Blaine’s phone.
Blaine nodded. “We were going to meet for dinner and I totally just stood him up.”
Kurt bit his lip then said, “You know, we’re having the New Directions New Year’s Eve party here this year. You should come. It wasn’t the same without you last year.”
“That’s really nice of you, Kurt,” Blaine started.
“But you’re not coming,” Kurt concluded, his face already starting to shut down.
“I already told Marley I’d come to her party,” Blaine replied quickly.
“The new New Directions party, huh?”
Blaine shrugged. “Tina and Sam are coming too.”
Kurt frowned. “It’s stupid that we’re even having two parties. New Directions has always been a family. A dysfunctional family, but still. It’s because of us, isn’t it?” He shook his head. “I never wanted our friends to just…pick sides like this.”
“Me neither.”
“So we should have one party. For all iterations of New Directions.”
Blaine couldn’t help but smile about that. He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “We may need a bigger venue if we combine, though.
“Somewhere with karaoke capabilities, since you know Rachel will want to sing. And drag you on stage with her.”
Blaine laughed. “I’ll talk to Marley and call you?”
“Sounds good.” Blaine nodded and made to head for his car, but Kurt’s voice made him pause. “I’m really glad you came today, Blaine. I’ve missed my best friend.”
Blaine turned and reached out for Kurt’s hand. He squeezed it gently before letting it go. “Me too.” Then, “I’m really late.”
“See you later,” Kurt called with a wave.
“See you soon,” Blaine countered, and Kurt smiled widely.
-----
Blaine pulled up to Sebastian’s house half an hour later. He’d never actually been to the Smythe house, but he had the address in his phone since he’d planned to have Sebastian’s Christmas gift shipped there. Sebastian’s was the only car in his driveway, so Blaine pulled up behind it as not to block the drive in case his father came home.
Taking a breath, Blaine pocketed his phone-his reply that he was coming over had gotten no response-and headed for the front door. He rang the bell and hugged his arms to his chest against the cold as he waited. He was starting to think Sebastian was just going to ignore him when the door opened.
Sebastian stood on the other side in jeans, an open button down shirt that revealed a gray t-shirt, and socks. For some reason it was Sebastian’s socked feet-and the air of vulnerability they represented-that held his attention. And he felt guilty all over again.
“Are you just going to stand here?” Sebastian asked, raising an eyebrow and moving aside so Blaine could come in.
Blaine was toeing his boots off when Sebastian started walking back toward the stairs, so Blaine hurried after him as he pulled his scarf and coat off. Blaine couldn’t help peering around the house-at the tastefully neutral decorations someone might have if they didn’t spend a lot of time in a space-as he followed Sebastian up the stairs and down the hallway to Sebastian’s room.
Blaine walked into the room toward Sebastian’s bed and dropped his coat and scarf onto the end. Blaine barely had time to register the framed photos of Paris and lacrosse trophies before Sebastian had shut the door and turned around, leaning back against the door.
“Bas, I’m sorry,” Blaine said. “I was with a friend and I lost track of time. I feel terrible.”
“Was it worth it?”
Blaine frowned. “What?”
Sebastian inclined his head. “The day with Hummel. Was it worth it?”
Blaine’s eyes widened. “How did you know?”
“When you didn’t answer any of my calls or texts, I called Sam,” Sebastian said, clenching his jaw. “I thought you might be hanging out with him. He told me where you were.”
Blaine grimaced. He’d called Sam after hanging up with Kurt to ask for his advice. Sam had made it clear that while he supported Blaine trying to regain an important friendship that he’d lost, he was completely against Blaine not telling Sebastian.
“It’s your current and ex boyfriends, man. In no world is that simple. Not telling Sebastian makes it seem like you have something to hide,” he’d said.
“It’s not what you think.”
Sebastian crossed his arms. “Oh, and what do I think?” he asked mockingly. “That you’re thinking about getting back with your ex?” He shook his head. “I know you’re not. Sam told me everything.”
Blaine wanted to curse Sam as a traitor, but he knew his best friend was only looking out for him. Nosy, yes, but Sam was loyal.
Blaine sighed. “I didn’t want to tell you until I knew what was going on,” he said. “I know how you feel about Kurt-”
“How I feel about Kurt,” Sebastian snorted. “Right.”
“Kurt was an important part of my life,” Blaine insisted. “It’s a friendship that I missed.”
“Right, after everything he’s done to you.”
Blaine frowned. “We were both at fault when it came to our breakup.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I-” Blaine cut himself off, confused. “Then what?”
Sebastian’s jaw worked a few times before he sighed. He pushed himself away from the door and walked over to his desk. He opened the middle drawer and rummaged around until he pulled out a cassette and held it up.
“What’s that?” Blaine asked, feeling as though he’d completely missed something. The air had shifted in those last moments, leaving him feeling off-balance.
Sebastian reached back into his drawer and grabbed a tape recorder. He popped the tape in and, after visibly steeling himself, hit play.
“What did you put in that slushie?” Santana’s crackly voice demanded, and Blaine inhaled sharply.
“Rock salt,” Sebastian’s voice replied.
Blaine was stunned as Sebastian stopped the tape and looked at him, expression unreadable.
“How did you get that?” Blaine whispered, trying to make sense of what he’d just heard. That shouldn’t be possible.
Sebastian fixed him with a level stare. “Hummel.”
fin
Next installment: The Refuge of Hope
Author: purplehrdwonder
Rating: PG-13
Genre/pairing: Sebastian/Blaine
Characters: Blaine, Sebastian, Kurt, Cooper, Burt, Carole, Finn
Word count: 5,900
Spoilers: Through 4x22
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
Summary: As the weather cooled, Blaine and Sebastian tried to avoid the pitfalls that had taken them on a roller coaster over the summer, but certain hurts, some older than others, still lingered. Ninth in the Not Words 'verse.
Author’s Note: This installment is dedicated to one of my favorite people, moviegeek03, for her birthday earlier this week. Story title comes from the Mumford & Sons song “Lover of the Light.”
The Shadows Thrown
Summer eventually faded into fall, which forced Blaine and Sebastian into a completely new set of routines with the start of the new school year. Sebastian ended up renting an apartment midway between Blaine’s place and Columbia; it was practically closet-sized, but it was all his and they’d begun taking advantage of the privacy it afforded practically before the ink on the rental contract was dry.
Blaine re-signed his lease with Sam and Tina, though the rhythms of the apartment were also in flux. In the last weeks of summer, Blaine had his internship during the day-and before it ended, he had the chance to record a demo in the studio, which he proudly showed off to all his friends and planned to work on with his professors once school started back up-and he spent most evenings with Sebastian.
Meanwhile, Tina was frequently absent as she worked days and spent more time with Andrew after her shifts; they were becoming more serious than Blaine had expected after their first date, though he was happy for her. Sam, for his part, went on a few casual dates but wasn’t interested in seeing anyone seriously-he was trying to focus on his schoolwork, he said, since he had to keep his grades up to keep both his job and his scholarship.
Despite their mismatched schedules, though, the trio kept a standing bi-weekly roommate date night that Blaine refused break even when Sebastian attempted bribing him.
“It’s Evans’ lips, isn’t it?” Sebastian said with the air of someone solving a great mystery one evening as Blaine pulled his shirt back on and slipped his shoes on to head back for roommate night. “That’s how you can turn down sex for a movie night.”
Blaine laughed lightly. “You noticed those, did you?”
Sebastian snorted as Blaine opened the door and turned around to face him. “It’s impossible not to,” he said, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed against his bare chest. “Just imagine-”
“Oh, I have.”
Sebastian raised an impressed eyebrow. “Look at you, Anderson.”
Blaine turned pink and ducked his head. “It was senior year and I was lonely. And Sam doesn’t have much sense of personal space.”
“And does Lips McGee know about said fantasies?”
Blaine nodded and scratched the back of his neck. “He does. More or less. I guess I’m not exactly subtle.”
“Did you serenade him with a Robin Thicke song?”
Blaine groaned. “I swear I am going to kill whoever told you about that.” But then his lips twitched and he glanced up at Sebastian mischievously. “But no, it was Phil Collins.”
Sebastian’s eyes widened, but Blaine leaned up to kiss him on the lips before walking away with a wave before he could respond.
Once classes started in earnest, Sebastian and Blaine had to work to make time for each other since their workloads had picked up. They spent weekday afternoons and evenings on each other’s couches with takeout containers and textbooks open in front of them. Weekends were spent in bed, wandering around the city, and hanging out with their friends, who were starting to overlap. Sam and James met over Labor Day and become quick friends, resulting in Sam being routinely invited to game nights at Columbia. Blaine continued playing open mic nights at Aroma, and he was often accompanied by Tina’s clear vocals, Sam on guitar, or both; they were crowd favorites.
As the weather cooled and the semester stretched on, they tried to avoid the pitfalls that had taken them on a roller coaster over the summer, but certain hurts still lingered just below the surface. On one particularly volatile night, Sebastian cut their dinner short and accused Blaine of eye-fucking their waiter, who bore a passing resemblance to Kurt.
“I think I’ve spent enough time watching you look at other people you want instead of me to know what it looks like, Blaine,” he’d said, leaving Blaine to assure him that he was only being polite to the waiter and that he still had no interest in getting back together with his ex, whom he hadn’t spoken with since Nationals.
And if Blaine had borne a few more marks on his body than usual the next day, well, he didn’t exactly mind Sebastian leaving hickeys, just as long as his clothes hid them.
And so the days passed.
-----
Lying in bed, Blaine was loose-limbed and sated-and, more importantly, Sebastian was the same-when he brought up what he’d been thinking about for a while now. Sebastian was upright, leaning against the headboard with the sheets pooled around his waist, as he looked down at Blaine, eyes widening.
“You want me to meet your parents?” he echoed in disbelief. And had Blaine detected a hint of panic?
Blaine raised an eyebrow. “That’s what I said.”
“You’re joking, right?”
Blaine frowned. “No. We’re both going home for Thanksgiving next week, and my parents want to meet the guy I’m going to Paris with. Plus, without Cooper, Thanksgiving is exponentially less crazy as far as holidays go.” He turned onto his side to face Sebastian. “Why? What’s wrong?”
Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. “I-”
A thought struck Blaine then and he sat up. “Does Sebastian Smythe not do parents?” he asked. “Because the last time I checked, Bas, you said you didn’t do boyfriends either, yet here we are. Not to mention,” he added, “I’ve met your mother and her boyfriend.”
Sebastian muttered something that sounded suspiciously like exception, and Blaine stifled a pleased laugh.
“Seriously though,” he said, smirk slipping, “what is it?” His parents might want to meet Sebastian before Blaine left for a week and a half in Paris in January, but if Sebastian wasn’t comfortable, Blaine wouldn’t push the issue.
Sebastian sighed. “It’s just- What am I supposed to say to your parents? ‘Hello Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, my name is Sebastian and I’m the guy who put your son in the hospital a couple years ago’?” He shook his head with a derisive snort and fell silent.
Ah.
“Bas,” Blaine said, reaching for Sebastian’s hand and rubbing the back of it gently while he waited for the other boy to look at him. “Are you sorry for the slushie?”
Sebastian grimaced, looking slightly sick. “You know I am.”
Blaine gave him a small smile. “And I told you, I forgave you a long time ago. Maybe one day you’ll actually believe it.” Sebastian clenched his jaw, and Blaine sighed. “They don’t have to know.”
Sebastian started at that. “What?”
Blaine kissed the back of his hand. “My family,” he clarified. “I never told them who threw the slushie, so they don’t need to know you were involved. We’re both past it, and that’s all that matters.”
Though Blaine had a feeling his family wouldn’t think that way if they found out, just as a number of his New Directions friends hadn’t when he and Sebastian had first made things official. They’d eventually come around, but they’d still sworn to watch Sebastian like a hawk.
“Blaine.” There didn’t seem to be anything following that, and Blaine grinned. It was rare that Sebastian was left at a loss for words.
“So how about,” Blaine continued as though Sebastian hadn’t interrupted him, “you say, ‘Hello Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, my name is Sebastian and I’m the guy dating your son.’” He had a few other far schmaltzier responses he could replace that with to tease Sebastian, but he figured he’d give him a break for the moment.
“Well that definitely sounds better than, ‘I’m the guy ravishing your son on a daily basis,’” Sebastian acknowledged.
Blaine laughed. “Ravishing, I like it.”
Sebastian shrugged, lips pulling up into a full smirk, which told Blaine that he’d won. “Well, ‘I’m the guy fucking your son on a daily basis’ seems a bit crude for the dinner table.”
Blaine snorted and smacked Sebastian in the leg. “Your manners are impeccable, Mr. Smythe.”
“So I’ve been told,” he replied, a mischievous look in his eye.
Blaine yelped as Sebastian launched himself at him, rolling them so Blaine was on his back and Sebastian hovering over him. Blaine gasped in laughter as Sebastian murmured into Blaine’s jawline, “Now, about that ravishing…”
-----
Blaine shut the front door, drowning out the sounds of the television in the living room and the clink of dishes in the kitchen, and sat down next to Sebastian on the Andersons’ front step. Sebastian was looking over the neighborhood with a blank expression on his face. Blaine nudged him with his elbow.
“You okay?”
“You tell me.”
“They liked you, Sebastian.” Sebastian had turned on the charm over dinner, and Blaine had caught his mother smiling as she looked between them and his father watching Sebastian with an approving look on his face.
Sebastian sighed and ran a hand wearily over his face. Blaine watched him curiously, unsure of what to make of his frustration. Dinner had gone better than he could’ve hoped, yet for some reason Sebastian seemed upset that it had gone well. There had been an underlying melancholy to Sebastian since his grandmother’s passing, and Blaine couldn’t help but wonder if that was somehow at play now.
“Why didn’t you tell them?”
It took Blaine a moment to register what Sebastian was asking. They’d been intentionally vague at dinner about how they’d known each other in high school-saying they met on one of Blaine’s visits back to Dalton but fell out of touch; not technically lies, but they weren’t complete truths either.
“We talked about tha-”
But Sebastian shook his head. “No, I mean in high school. Why didn’t you tell them junior year?”
Blaine frowned and looked out over his street, pressing his chest to his knees. After it had first happened and his surgery, he’d been too hopped up on painkillers to feel much of anything. But once he started reducing his doses and eventually went off the drugs completely, the anger started to build. It had been weeks before he’d been able to start boxing again, too, which made handling the anger he’d felt-at the Warblers, at Sebastian, at the memories the incident had dredged up-harder to deal with.
But through it all, he’d never told his parents who had thrown the slushie that night. He told them he couldn’t remember much in the moments before or after it had happened. That had been the case after the dance, so his parents didn’t have any reason not to believe him.
Blaine shut his eyes a moment before opening them again. He could see Sebastian looking at him in his periphery, but he didn’t look back. “Because there wouldn’t have been any point.”
“What-”
“There was no evidence,” Blaine said, cutting Sebastian off. He thought Sebastian might have stiffened at that, but he couldn’t bring himself to look. While he’d forgiven Sebastian for that night, the situation itself-the lack of recourse that he had in the aftermath, just like after the dance-still left a bitter taste in his mouth.
“I knew that if I told my parents, we’d just be pulled into another lengthy round of litigation that would boil down to he said, he said. And no one ever believes the gay public school kid.” Blaine sighed and glanced back toward the house. “I just didn’t want to put them through that again. Not when I knew exactly what would happen.”
“Bitter,” Sebastian commented.
Blaine shrugged. “Maybe. But that’s not on you.”
“How could that possibly not be on me?”
“Your dad might be a State’s Attorney, but he doesn’t control the legal system. It is what it is.” Blaine had resigned himself to that fact years ago.
They fell silent after that, Blaine getting lost in memories he’d thought long since buried. Those months had been rough for him.
Finally, Sebastian pushed himself to his feet and glanced down at Blaine with a wan smile as he adjusted his scarf. Blaine looked up at him, his insides twisting with an emotion he couldn’t quite pinpoint.
“I’ll see you later, Killer.”
“Goodnight, Bas.”
-----
There was a strange tension between Blaine and Sebastian when they got back to New York. They studied for finals, wrote papers, and finished up projects in each other’s apartments as usual, but they spoke less than usual, and Sebastian swung between extremes in bed, some nights as possessive as the night of their aborted date and others almost hesitant to even touch Blaine.
And as much as Blaine knew they needed to talk about what was going on, he couldn’t bring himself to broach the subject. Over Christmas, he told himself. He’d bring it up over Christmas vacation when neither of them had other things to worry about. Definitely before they left for Paris; Sebastian would be leaving early as per his usual arrangements, and Blaine would join him a few days later. They’d then fly back to New York in time for classes to start again.
So they finished out the semester with an uncomfortable atmosphere underlying their time together that had even Sam and Tina shooting him worried looks when they thought he wasn’t looking.
When they got back to Ohio, Blaine dragged Sebastian Christmas shopping at the Westerville mall again, only for Sebastian to surprise him afterward with a trip to the park near Westerville Elementary where they’d shared their first kiss the previous year. It was a surprisingly romantic gesture, but Sebastian was always doing the last thing Blaine expected. But still Blaine didn’t bring up Sebastian’s hot and cold behavior.
Two days before Christmas, Cooper swooped into town and, on the drive back from the airport, demanded to meet Sebastian.
“The parents got to meet your boy toy,” Cooper pointed out as Blaine drove. Cooper’s flight had arrived midday, so Blaine had been the only one available to pick him up.
“Cooper,” Blaine groaned. “Don’t say-” He shook his head. “Just don’t.”
“C’mon Blainey,” Cooper nearly whined, “Mom and Dad liked this guy, but I want to make sure he’s good enough for you.”
“He’s busy with his family,” Blaine replied, checking his rearview mirror. And that wasn’t a complete lie since he had to go to his father’s holiday party again. “Though I appreciate the sentiment,” he added with a sidelong glance for his brother.
“So, after Christmas.”
“He leaves for Paris on the 27th,” Blaine replied with a shrug before checking his blind spot and switching lanes.
“And you’re going when?”
“On the fourth.”
Cooper pressed his lips into a thin line as he stared out of the windshield. “I don’t like it.”
Blaine raised an eyebrow as he spared a quick glance for Cooper before looking back at the road. “I’m sorry?”
“You’d been dating Kurt for a year before I got to meet him. And how long have you been seeing this new guy again?”
“Nine months.”
“Aha!” Cooper crowed, pointing at Blaine, who couldn’t help but roll his eyes again. “You’re hiding them from me.”
“Yes, I’m hiding my boyfriends from you,” Blaine deadpanned. “I can’t help that you only visit for a few days a year, Coop. Our schedules not meshing isn’t me hiding anyone from you.”
Cooper narrowed his eyes. “You’re hiding something, then. I know you, little brother. And I’m going to find out what it is.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Blaine replied airily, though he realized belatedly that he was chewing the inside of his cheek.
Cooper gave him a pointed look at that but then mercifully launched into a story about the next incarnation of his credit rating commercial they were going to film after the holidays.
-----
Two Andersons? Sebastian responded when Blaine texted him about Cooper later that night. I could make room in my schedule if that ass is genetic.
Cute, Blaine sent back.
You love me.
Blaine shook his head, lips twitching, before typing out, Cooper’s kind of intense. And crazy.
I’ve heard the stories.
Blaine frowned and tapped his phone against his chin, wondering how best to phrase what he wanted to say without actually broaching the subject they weren’t talking about. He’s been pretty protective since Kurt, Blaine eventually sent back.
Is that a challenge?
Blaine shook his head. “Idiot,” he muttered fondly. He’s going to know something’s going on. Something that Blaine, in his cowardice, hadn’t been able to bring himself to ask Sebastian about yet. Something that he suspected had to do with the night Sebastian had met his parents.
*Is* something going on?
Blaine was debating how to respond to that when his phone started ringing in his hand. He started and nearly dropped his phone, and when he glanced at the caller ID he did drop it. There was no name attached to the number, but it was one he’d had memorized for years. But why was he calling now? Part of Blaine wasn’t sure he even wanted to know, but he accepted the call anyway.
“Hello?”
“Blaine, hi,” a familiar, if slightly breathless voice said. “I, uh, wasn’t sure you’d pick up.”
“I promised to always pick up your calls, didn’t I?” Blaine replied, the memory a bittersweet one now with distance between him and then.
“That was a long time ago.”
“I have a good memory.”
“I-Of course.”
Blaine pressed his lips together, waiting. But when no more words were forthcoming, he prompted, “Why are you calling, Kurt?”
Kurt took a shaky breath on the other end that made Blaine instantly wary. “I missed you,” he admitted. “I told you that back in May. But the holidays are all about family, aren’t they? That’s what my dad likes to remind me of, anyway.”
Blaine furrowed his brows, more confused than ever. “Kurt?”
“I think… I think I’m ready. For us to try being friends again. If you are,” Kurt said, quickly backtracking.
“Oh,” was all Blaine could think to say in response.
“We were wondering if you’d like to come over on Christmas night? For old time’s sake.”
Blaine was stunned. He’d spent several Christmas nights with the Hudson-Hummels, usually enjoying dessert over a board game, since his family’s celebrations ended mid-afternoon. But to be asked to join them again? Now when they weren’t dating? “I-”
“If you don’t, I totally understand,” Kurt rushed to add. “But, uh, my dad would really like to see you. And Carole, too.”
“And you?”
“And me. Obviously.” Blaine could almost hear the little smile he knew Kurt wore when he used that tone of voice.
The prospect of rekindling his relationship with the Hudson-Hummel family after all this time made Blaine’s chest clench tightly. They had become a second family to him in the time that he and Kurt had been together, and he’d felt their loss acutely after they’d cut ties. But if they wanted to see him…
“I’d love to.”
“Great!”
“I’d love to,” Blaine plowed on. “But I can’t on Christmas night. Family stuff.” His parents wanted them to spend the entire holiday together this year since they were so spread out anymore.
“Oh,” Kurt said, sounding disappointed. Huh. “Of course.”
“I, uh. Could we do it the next day?” Sebastian had made plans with some of his Dalton lacrosse buddies for Boxing Day, so Blaine wasn’t planning to see him until that evening. “I don’t have anything going on until later that night.”
“That would be perfect, actually. You could come by around lunchtime?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Great.”
“Great.”
An awkward silence fell then, and Kurt finally cleared his throat. “I guess I’ll see you in a few days then.”
“Until then,” Blaine agreed before hanging up. He stared at his phone for a long time before responding to Sebastian’s text.
-----
As Blaine stood on the Hudson-Hummel porch, he felt a brief surge of panic; he’d made a terrible mistake in coming here. The last time he’d been in this house, he’d had his heart shattered into countless pieces that, at times, it still felt like he was recovering and messily gluing back together.
But that was a year a half in the past. A lot had changed in Blaine’s life-in Blaine himself-since that day. He wasn’t the same person who’d fled the house while Kurt was in the shower and his phone blew up with texts from some New York guy. So Blaine pressed the doorbell and waited. After a few seconds, he heard familiar voices calling out and footsteps approaching. And then the door opened, revealing Kurt in a pair of jeans and a dark red shirt.
Blaine’s stomach swooped as he returned Kurt’s hesitant smile, though the heat that used to flood through him whenever he laid eyes on Kurt when they were dating was gone. Yes, Kurt was still incredibly attractive and seeing him made Blaine’s heart ache in a way that reminded him that part of him would always love him, but the desire to act on that attraction was gone. It was almost surreal-it took him back to how he’d felt looking at Kurt before they’d started dating. When they were just friends.
That seemed to cement it for Blaine that he and Kurt really were done, and the tension he’d been carrying in his shoulders since Kurt had called melted away. They could do this-they could just be friends now that they had time and distance between them. Kurt had been a huge part of his life, and he’d never wanted to lose that even if they were no longer together.
“Hi,” Kurt greeted. “I’m glad you made it.” He stepped aside so Blaine could come inside.
Instantly, Blaine was hit by familiar sights and sounds. He could hear Carole and Finn speaking in the kitchen and a football game on the television in the living room. He swallowed as he pulled off his scarf and coat to hang up in the closet.
“I’m glad you called.”
“It was time,” Kurt replied, his small smile widening a bit. He nodded for Blaine to follow him toward the kitchen once he’d slid his boots off.
When they walked into the kitchen, Blaine’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of Carole, Finn, and Burt all standing there. Carole and Finn had been speaking while Burt looked on fondly, but all conversation had died when Kurt and Blaine entered.
“Blaine!” Carole said, crossing the room to hug him. “We’re so glad you could come, sweetie.”
“Thank you for having me, Carole,” Blaine replied, wrapped his arms around her.
“Always so polite, this one,” Carole said with a smile, and Blaine couldn’t help but blush.
“Hey man,” Finn greeted with a wave.
“Hey,” Blaine said, returning the gesture. They’d at least seen each other at Nationals-also the last time Blaine had seen Kurt.
“Well, let’s see him,” Burt said.
Blaine tensed, momentarily worried about what Burt might be thinking of him, but that quickly passed when he saw the smile on the older man’s lips. Burt pulled him into a hug and Blaine sighed him in relief, something settling in place inside him.
“It’s good to see you, kid,” Burt said as he pulled away and clapped Blaine on the shoulder.
“You too, sir.”
“You know how I feel about that ‘sir’ stuff.”
“Sorry, Burt,” Blaine said with a laugh.
Burt looked Blaine up and down before nodding. “How’re you doing? You look good.”
“I’m good,” Blaine said, thinking of the life he’d built for himself in New York. “Really good, actually.”
“Glad to hear it,” Burt nodded.
“And we want to hear all about it over lunch,” Carole added. “Which is almost ready.” She winked at Blaine. “I hope you don’t mind Christmas leftovers.”
“Not at all.”
Carole smiled and shooed him off to the kitchen table, which was already set. Burt joined him while Kurt and Finn helped carry food from the counters to the table.
Once they were all settled down, Burt said, “So you’re at NYU?”
Over lunch, Blaine told the Hudson-Hummels about what he’d been up to-his classes, the open mic nights he played, and his internship. He found himself sharing looks with Kurt, who sat next to him, as Kurt looked happy to hear what Blaine had been up to.
“Kurt says you’re seeing someone,” Carole said before taking a sip of water. Blaine felt more than saw Kurt stiffen next to him.
“I-” Blaine hesitated; Burt and Carole undoubtedly knew that Sebastian had thrown the slushie since Kurt hadn’t had any reason to keep it quiet the way Blaine had. But at the same time, Blaine loved Sebastian. He couldn’t be afraid to acknowledge what they had. “I am. For about nine months now.”
“We’re glad you’re happy, Blaine.” Then Carole promptly changed the subject.
Blaine helped clear the dishes and, in a nostalgic moment, he and Kurt ended up at the sink together, Blaine washing dishes and Kurt drying and putting them away. They talked about New York, comparing their favorite spots and experiences. Kurt told Blaine about his expanding responsibilities at Vogue and the small roles in productions he’d been getting at NYADA.
“Tina sent Santana a video of you at one of your open mic nights,” Kurt said once they’d finished and had each grabbed a glass of water. They settled back down at the kitchen table across from each other. They could hear the football game in the living room where Burt, Carole, and Finn had retired to.
Blaine grimaced, and made a mental note not to let Tina record anything else. “I can’t believe she did that.” He wondered then if it had been a set with a lot of the breakup songs he’d written in his maudlin phase-and then really hoped not.
“Your original stuff is really good,” Kurt said, looking down at his glass. “A bit sad. Emotional.”
Well, that answered that, Blaine thought with a blush. “I didn’t think you’d hear any of that.”
“Please,” Kurt scoffed, “you’re going to be a big star. How would I ever avoid hearing your original songs?” He tilted his head slightly and his lips twitched. “Besides, it’s fine. I get it.” He paused. “Do you think I could come sometime? To see you play?”
Blaine’s eyes widened. “You want to?”
“I’ve always loved watching you perform, Blaine.”
Warmth spread through Blaine’s chest at that. “I’d love that.”
“Send me the information?”
Blaine nodded, recognizing the message for what it was-reopening lines of communication. “I’ll do that.” Blaine returned the smile. “As long as you let me know when you have a performance.”
Kurt smiled as he lifted his glass to his lips. “I’ll do that.”
-----
Eventually they retreated into the living room to join the rest of the family. They ended up pulling out Monopoly while football stayed on low volume in the background. Burt and Carole entered into a silent alliance, buying properties and selling to each other to attempt to take over the board, so Kurt and Blaine followed suit after a single glance; Finn was left on his own, and he quickly fell behind everyone else.
They played long into the afternoon and evening. Carole grabbed snacks and drinks after a few hours, and Blaine lost track of time with the fun he was having with these people he’d missed. The game had reached a stalemate when Blaine’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his back pocket with an apologetic look at his hosts.
His eyes widened as he saw what time it was-after eight. He was supposed to have met Sebastian for dinner at seven-thirty. He had seven texts and two missed calls that he somehow hadn’t noticed-I’m here, Where are you?, Are you on your way? and so on.
Blaine jolted to his feet and quickly responded, I’m sorry, got held up. On my way.
“What is it?” Kurt asked, looking up at him in surprise. “Everything okay?”
“I was supposed to meet someone half an hour ago. I’m so sorry to run,” he apologized.
“Of course,” Carole said as they all rose to follow Blaine to the front hallway. “It was great seeing you.”
Blaine pulled his coat on, looped his scarf over his neck, and stepped into his boots. He shook hands with Finn and was about to do the same with Burt, but the older man hauled him into another hug.
“Don’t be a stranger, Anderson. We miss you around here.”
“Thank you, Burt,” Blaine said, swallowing. Despite his hurry to leave, he couldn’t help the choked up feeling at the sentiment.
When they pulled apart, Blaine glanced at Kurt, who said, “I’ll walk you out.”
“You don’t have to-”
“I’ll walk you out,” Kurt repeated firmly.
Blaine nodded. He glanced down at his buzzing phone while Kurt put a jacket on. Don’t bother. I went home, was Sebastian’s curt reply. He looked back up and waved once more to the Hudson-Hummels, then stepped outside onto the porch as Kurt shut the door behind them.
“Sebastian?” Kurt asked, nodding at Blaine’s phone.
Blaine nodded. “We were going to meet for dinner and I totally just stood him up.”
Kurt bit his lip then said, “You know, we’re having the New Directions New Year’s Eve party here this year. You should come. It wasn’t the same without you last year.”
“That’s really nice of you, Kurt,” Blaine started.
“But you’re not coming,” Kurt concluded, his face already starting to shut down.
“I already told Marley I’d come to her party,” Blaine replied quickly.
“The new New Directions party, huh?”
Blaine shrugged. “Tina and Sam are coming too.”
Kurt frowned. “It’s stupid that we’re even having two parties. New Directions has always been a family. A dysfunctional family, but still. It’s because of us, isn’t it?” He shook his head. “I never wanted our friends to just…pick sides like this.”
“Me neither.”
“So we should have one party. For all iterations of New Directions.”
Blaine couldn’t help but smile about that. He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “We may need a bigger venue if we combine, though.
“Somewhere with karaoke capabilities, since you know Rachel will want to sing. And drag you on stage with her.”
Blaine laughed. “I’ll talk to Marley and call you?”
“Sounds good.” Blaine nodded and made to head for his car, but Kurt’s voice made him pause. “I’m really glad you came today, Blaine. I’ve missed my best friend.”
Blaine turned and reached out for Kurt’s hand. He squeezed it gently before letting it go. “Me too.” Then, “I’m really late.”
“See you later,” Kurt called with a wave.
“See you soon,” Blaine countered, and Kurt smiled widely.
-----
Blaine pulled up to Sebastian’s house half an hour later. He’d never actually been to the Smythe house, but he had the address in his phone since he’d planned to have Sebastian’s Christmas gift shipped there. Sebastian’s was the only car in his driveway, so Blaine pulled up behind it as not to block the drive in case his father came home.
Taking a breath, Blaine pocketed his phone-his reply that he was coming over had gotten no response-and headed for the front door. He rang the bell and hugged his arms to his chest against the cold as he waited. He was starting to think Sebastian was just going to ignore him when the door opened.
Sebastian stood on the other side in jeans, an open button down shirt that revealed a gray t-shirt, and socks. For some reason it was Sebastian’s socked feet-and the air of vulnerability they represented-that held his attention. And he felt guilty all over again.
“Are you just going to stand here?” Sebastian asked, raising an eyebrow and moving aside so Blaine could come in.
Blaine was toeing his boots off when Sebastian started walking back toward the stairs, so Blaine hurried after him as he pulled his scarf and coat off. Blaine couldn’t help peering around the house-at the tastefully neutral decorations someone might have if they didn’t spend a lot of time in a space-as he followed Sebastian up the stairs and down the hallway to Sebastian’s room.
Blaine walked into the room toward Sebastian’s bed and dropped his coat and scarf onto the end. Blaine barely had time to register the framed photos of Paris and lacrosse trophies before Sebastian had shut the door and turned around, leaning back against the door.
“Bas, I’m sorry,” Blaine said. “I was with a friend and I lost track of time. I feel terrible.”
“Was it worth it?”
Blaine frowned. “What?”
Sebastian inclined his head. “The day with Hummel. Was it worth it?”
Blaine’s eyes widened. “How did you know?”
“When you didn’t answer any of my calls or texts, I called Sam,” Sebastian said, clenching his jaw. “I thought you might be hanging out with him. He told me where you were.”
Blaine grimaced. He’d called Sam after hanging up with Kurt to ask for his advice. Sam had made it clear that while he supported Blaine trying to regain an important friendship that he’d lost, he was completely against Blaine not telling Sebastian.
“It’s your current and ex boyfriends, man. In no world is that simple. Not telling Sebastian makes it seem like you have something to hide,” he’d said.
“It’s not what you think.”
Sebastian crossed his arms. “Oh, and what do I think?” he asked mockingly. “That you’re thinking about getting back with your ex?” He shook his head. “I know you’re not. Sam told me everything.”
Blaine wanted to curse Sam as a traitor, but he knew his best friend was only looking out for him. Nosy, yes, but Sam was loyal.
Blaine sighed. “I didn’t want to tell you until I knew what was going on,” he said. “I know how you feel about Kurt-”
“How I feel about Kurt,” Sebastian snorted. “Right.”
“Kurt was an important part of my life,” Blaine insisted. “It’s a friendship that I missed.”
“Right, after everything he’s done to you.”
Blaine frowned. “We were both at fault when it came to our breakup.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I-” Blaine cut himself off, confused. “Then what?”
Sebastian’s jaw worked a few times before he sighed. He pushed himself away from the door and walked over to his desk. He opened the middle drawer and rummaged around until he pulled out a cassette and held it up.
“What’s that?” Blaine asked, feeling as though he’d completely missed something. The air had shifted in those last moments, leaving him feeling off-balance.
Sebastian reached back into his drawer and grabbed a tape recorder. He popped the tape in and, after visibly steeling himself, hit play.
“What did you put in that slushie?” Santana’s crackly voice demanded, and Blaine inhaled sharply.
“Rock salt,” Sebastian’s voice replied.
Blaine was stunned as Sebastian stopped the tape and looked at him, expression unreadable.
“How did you get that?” Blaine whispered, trying to make sense of what he’d just heard. That shouldn’t be possible.
Sebastian fixed him with a level stare. “Hummel.”
fin
Next installment: The Refuge of Hope