now you're standing on your soapbox - everything you're saying is a lie
so I'm on a conference call and it gets boring paying attention the entire time and updating is something I can do while partially listening and mumbling some stuff about upcoming numbers.
so sunday night and monday night were crazy. I thought once steve left I'd be ok because that would mean no more parties. wrong. I forgot about kempner. got ice cream with celli too last night. DQ impressed me - I haven't been there in a while but it's so much closer than denville dairy. so
LJ, this is going to be a long entry. So I've spent a lot of time just thinking, about where I'm heading, what kind of person I am, how the people I hang out with influence me, and those sorts of who the hell am I questions. My conclusions:
- on my friends - since freshman year I've made a much better choice in the people I've been hanging out with and because of that things have had a much more positive outlook. I've made these resolutions though: I will not accept respsonsibility for others' actions and because my friends are always there for me, I need to be there for them too when they're feeling down. Granted, school karate and office positions are all important, but I will make time to be there. I know how important it is to have someone there for you.
- on who I am - this is where things get tricky. I can't sum myself up in a few sentences. I don't fit into a nice box, to be labeled a jock or nerd or something and that's part of what I love about my friends. There are no labels for anyone ever. All I know is that I've come to accept who I am and while once I may have changed myself to impress a certain someone, I've given up on that tactic. I am who I am.
- on relationships - all relationships, friendship or other, require some effort, but you shouldn't feel emotionally drained after every conversation. This whole divorce has made me realize that for a relationship to get stronger there needs to be a give and take aspect to it and I feel like I've been doing more taking than giving lately, something I'm going to try and work on. There's still one relationship issue that's been bugging me but that is going to be worked out in a few weeks because life already involves too much drama and false hopes can only last so long.
That's it for now. Believe me, there's much more.
Well, livejournal you've seen part of the real me - and to think I always said I'd never let you see anything of real substance.