we've only just begun
it's pouring, which really puts a damper on everything i wanted to get done today. or is that just an excuse?
last night i watched the first part of an "american idol" on fox. it cracked me up...parts of it were so ridiculous. unfortunately, i may be hooked...have to watch it again tonight.
i am really not liking my summer. it feels like a series of red lights...and i'm super-duper-stressed about money matters. i keep comparing it to last summer (which i SHOULD NOT do). last summer was so amazing...the weird part is that K left me for Seattle last summer.... i don't even know where i am going with this.
i don't have anything i HAVE to do this summer. only, i have a bunch of things that i SHOULD do...along with a bunch of things that i WANT to do...somehow, i still feel stressed. i think maybe i let the stress go somewhere around late july/august. we will see.
this is so boring, and really i'm just trying to kill time, avoiding the cleaning i SHOULD be doing. i want to start packing, but all my rubbermaid containers are outside in the constantly falling rain.
i'm restless. ready to move to albany. i NEVER thought i'd say that i'm ready to move out of Vermont, but...i just.am.ready. i dont' even know why. i think it stems from the dissatisfaction i feel with my life lately. i just want things to be different. the desire to have money. the desire to have a nuclear family. i'm driving myself a bit nuts. but i know (rationally) that a move will not solve these things.
i hate my new job--waiting tables. i am not going to make any money at this place, and they pool tips!!!! i dread going there. it's draining 'cuz i have to be fake the whole night. blah.
there is really no need for this post to go on and on, other than the fact that i am hoping something will come out of it--some brilliant insight or understanding...if i just keep (the pen moving) writing.... maybe.or not.
i ran out of gas yesterday in Wilder, Vermont. i never even knew there was a Wilder, VT, and now i've even been to the wilder motel (only to use the phone).
green light? green light, where are you?
last night i watched the first part of an "american idol" on fox. it cracked me up...parts of it were so ridiculous. unfortunately, i may be hooked...have to watch it again tonight.
i am really not liking my summer. it feels like a series of red lights...and i'm super-duper-stressed about money matters. i keep comparing it to last summer (which i SHOULD NOT do). last summer was so amazing...the weird part is that K left me for Seattle last summer.... i don't even know where i am going with this.
i don't have anything i HAVE to do this summer. only, i have a bunch of things that i SHOULD do...along with a bunch of things that i WANT to do...somehow, i still feel stressed. i think maybe i let the stress go somewhere around late july/august. we will see.
this is so boring, and really i'm just trying to kill time, avoiding the cleaning i SHOULD be doing. i want to start packing, but all my rubbermaid containers are outside in the constantly falling rain.
i'm restless. ready to move to albany. i NEVER thought i'd say that i'm ready to move out of Vermont, but...i just.am.ready. i dont' even know why. i think it stems from the dissatisfaction i feel with my life lately. i just want things to be different. the desire to have money. the desire to have a nuclear family. i'm driving myself a bit nuts. but i know (rationally) that a move will not solve these things.
i hate my new job--waiting tables. i am not going to make any money at this place, and they pool tips!!!! i dread going there. it's draining 'cuz i have to be fake the whole night. blah.
there is really no need for this post to go on and on, other than the fact that i am hoping something will come out of it--some brilliant insight or understanding...if i just keep (the pen moving) writing.... maybe.or not.
i ran out of gas yesterday in Wilder, Vermont. i never even knew there was a Wilder, VT, and now i've even been to the wilder motel (only to use the phone).
green light? green light, where are you?