selling out and having an "early-life" crisis....

[purplegrrl]

I am sitting here watching an old rerun of the Cosby Show. It's the episode where Cliff and Claire Huxtable have the "smooth contest." So I'm sitting on my bed, eating part of a frozen pizza that I had popped in the oven (because I haven't cooked in ages...too lazy and unmotivated--blaise). I see a commercial for some kind of soap and wonder if

Comments

[wrdgrrl]

I could so relate to this. I don't know how old you are, but I just turned 30 and went through (and am probably still going through) much the same thing. IT was these feelings that led me to go through (and eventually fail) the screening process to become a police officer. Through that journey though, I think I've learned that it wasn't for me anyway, but I also learned that it's OK to be happy where I am today. No, I'm not doing all the things I want to do, but this is where I am and I have to accept it.

I also find far too many things to distract me from my creativity which I SO want to get in touch with again some day. IT gets to where I begin resenting the TV, the internet, and LJ in particular. I blame these distractions for my lack of creativity when it's really my fault for not focusing more. I guess I need those distractions right now though. Maybe some day I'll get to a point where I don't, but right now, that's where I am. IT's all about being satisfied with the now, which is virtually impossible if you're human.

And the gym. I had to cut chocolate out entirely for a while because I was doing the same thing. I'd work out, then as a reward, I'd eat Cadbury easter eggs and cookies and other junk. It doesn't make sense. It's counter productive, yet there's that little voice in my head always telling me, "You deserve this. You worked hard." I haven't figured out how to quiet that voice, instead I limit what it will allow me to "reward" myself with.

We'll see how that goes.

Anyway, if you start listening to Jewel, I'll be sure to send the guys in the little white coats over ;)