LIFE
I'm going to put down my thoughts on my faith today. I don't remember a time when I didn't go to church. The first one I remember is the Episcopalian church. I think they might have done some of the liturgy in Latin. I was about three and I couldn't understand a lot of what they said. I also remember standing, kneeling and sitting a lot. I remember the Sunday school room and singing "Jesus Loves Me" and "Jesus Loves the Little Children". The Episcopalian church was dad's thing.
After that we went to the chapel on the base. As a young child, I remember snuggling up to my dad, his arm wrapped around me, the smell of his skin as I nodded off in the warm monotone of the sermon. I grew up there, had friends come and go, accepted Christ as my Savior, babysat for one chaplain, grew frustrated at having to sing 'kids songs' in Sunday school as a teenager. I sang in the choir. There were a handful of us girls. We had fun singing, and whether it was choir or Sunday school there was always an adult who understood us better than others and helped guide us. Once we took a trip to Reno to see Fiddler on the Roof in a theater. I loved it.
As an older teenager, the chapel must have been assigned a chaplain my parents didn't like. We went to a Baptist church for awhile. Both in Sunday school and church I noticed they seemed to preach on a "more people, more money needed" bent. I don't know if it was just the pastor or the local church, or the church as a whole, but I was turned off.
After I graduated high school I began going to the Assemblies of God church. I had friends there, young people like me. They had a great youth group, and we all had fun. I also learned an important lesson there. If God wants to tell you something, he will tell you. Don't trust other people to give you His word. When I went to college I continued with the AG. It was a small church and to earn a few extra bucks, I was the janitor for awhile. The pastor had an unmarried daughter about my age who had a young son. She also had a habit of inviting men over to watch tv, then get tired, go to bed and tell them if they didn't want to leave, they could keep watching tv. Right. When her father chastised me for the ONE time in college I got drunk, I left that church. I began going to the Foursquare church, led by Pastor Boring. He was anything but. He was such a nice man, and tried to keep in touch with me for years, but we've lost touch and I'm a little sad to not know what he and his family are up to.
Also in college, Chi Alpha, a Christian ministry outreach, was formed. We were a small group, led by a young married couple who moved from Oregon to take on this challenge. I got to be the first person to live with them in the first Chi Alpha house. I had to stand up to my dad on that one since he didn't want me to live off campus. It was great fun, and I don't know how I would have survived college without these friends.
Graduating and coming home, I continued with the local AG, but I'd seen some things in college that didn't ring true with my spirit, very theatrical showings. And then locally people began boycotting companies for their stand on homosexuals. This was before the WWJD? craze, and I found myself asking, "Would Jesus behave like this? Who would he hang out with? A bunch of pious know-it-alls, or those people outside of the church? I quit going.
I spent many years not going to church. But here's the thing. If you've actually read this far, you're thinking I'm talking a lot about going to church. That means nothing. True. Going to church doesn't equal faith. But I can honestly say from the time I was small, I have been drawn to God. It's inexplicable, beyond a need. I can't deny it. Going to church is just an expression of my faith that allows me to socialize with like minded people and have my soul fed with joyous expressions of music, lessons and the presence of the Holy Spirit. So all of these years I wasn't going to church, I felt the pull, but had nowhere to go.
Then I married into the Hebrew faith. I insisted if we ever had kids they would be raised as Christians. I got pregnant and we began going to a Lutheran church. They had solid teaching, but there was no wiggle room. You didn't ask, "What if...?" And the music. It was well played on a grand pipe organ. But they could have made "Joy to the World" sound like a dirge. My spirit was dead. We quit going. When the Boy Child was not quite a year and a half old, we found the Presbyterian church. The first Sunday we went, I knew I was home. There were elements from my days at the base chapel. And during the sermon, the pastor made a point using "The Wizard of Oz", my favorite movie. There are certain tenants that are unmovable, but other things can be discussed. "What if...?" is okay.
So, my faith. I can't deny it, whether or not I attend a church. I've been drawn to it my whole life. I also have friends of all religious and sexual bents. I don't feel that as a Christian I need to purge my friends to be surrounded by only other Christians. I won't force my views on you. I won't tell you you're going to Hell. If God wants you to know that, or anything else, He will tell you, not me. I won't post disparaging remarks about your philosophies on life. I have been hurt by friends who feel the need to poke at Christianity. Maybe I should speak up more to defend it, but where is a "I'm right and you're wrong!" attitude going to get me? I just live as I must, as I'm drawn to, and make no apologies for it.
After that we went to the chapel on the base. As a young child, I remember snuggling up to my dad, his arm wrapped around me, the smell of his skin as I nodded off in the warm monotone of the sermon. I grew up there, had friends come and go, accepted Christ as my Savior, babysat for one chaplain, grew frustrated at having to sing 'kids songs' in Sunday school as a teenager. I sang in the choir. There were a handful of us girls. We had fun singing, and whether it was choir or Sunday school there was always an adult who understood us better than others and helped guide us. Once we took a trip to Reno to see Fiddler on the Roof in a theater. I loved it.
As an older teenager, the chapel must have been assigned a chaplain my parents didn't like. We went to a Baptist church for awhile. Both in Sunday school and church I noticed they seemed to preach on a "more people, more money needed" bent. I don't know if it was just the pastor or the local church, or the church as a whole, but I was turned off.
After I graduated high school I began going to the Assemblies of God church. I had friends there, young people like me. They had a great youth group, and we all had fun. I also learned an important lesson there. If God wants to tell you something, he will tell you. Don't trust other people to give you His word. When I went to college I continued with the AG. It was a small church and to earn a few extra bucks, I was the janitor for awhile. The pastor had an unmarried daughter about my age who had a young son. She also had a habit of inviting men over to watch tv, then get tired, go to bed and tell them if they didn't want to leave, they could keep watching tv. Right. When her father chastised me for the ONE time in college I got drunk, I left that church. I began going to the Foursquare church, led by Pastor Boring. He was anything but. He was such a nice man, and tried to keep in touch with me for years, but we've lost touch and I'm a little sad to not know what he and his family are up to.
Also in college, Chi Alpha, a Christian ministry outreach, was formed. We were a small group, led by a young married couple who moved from Oregon to take on this challenge. I got to be the first person to live with them in the first Chi Alpha house. I had to stand up to my dad on that one since he didn't want me to live off campus. It was great fun, and I don't know how I would have survived college without these friends.
Graduating and coming home, I continued with the local AG, but I'd seen some things in college that didn't ring true with my spirit, very theatrical showings. And then locally people began boycotting companies for their stand on homosexuals. This was before the WWJD? craze, and I found myself asking, "Would Jesus behave like this? Who would he hang out with? A bunch of pious know-it-alls, or those people outside of the church? I quit going.
I spent many years not going to church. But here's the thing. If you've actually read this far, you're thinking I'm talking a lot about going to church. That means nothing. True. Going to church doesn't equal faith. But I can honestly say from the time I was small, I have been drawn to God. It's inexplicable, beyond a need. I can't deny it. Going to church is just an expression of my faith that allows me to socialize with like minded people and have my soul fed with joyous expressions of music, lessons and the presence of the Holy Spirit. So all of these years I wasn't going to church, I felt the pull, but had nowhere to go.
Then I married into the Hebrew faith. I insisted if we ever had kids they would be raised as Christians. I got pregnant and we began going to a Lutheran church. They had solid teaching, but there was no wiggle room. You didn't ask, "What if...?" And the music. It was well played on a grand pipe organ. But they could have made "Joy to the World" sound like a dirge. My spirit was dead. We quit going. When the Boy Child was not quite a year and a half old, we found the Presbyterian church. The first Sunday we went, I knew I was home. There were elements from my days at the base chapel. And during the sermon, the pastor made a point using "The Wizard of Oz", my favorite movie. There are certain tenants that are unmovable, but other things can be discussed. "What if...?" is okay.
So, my faith. I can't deny it, whether or not I attend a church. I've been drawn to it my whole life. I also have friends of all religious and sexual bents. I don't feel that as a Christian I need to purge my friends to be surrounded by only other Christians. I won't force my views on you. I won't tell you you're going to Hell. If God wants you to know that, or anything else, He will tell you, not me. I won't post disparaging remarks about your philosophies on life. I have been hurt by friends who feel the need to poke at Christianity. Maybe I should speak up more to defend it, but where is a "I'm right and you're wrong!" attitude going to get me? I just live as I must, as I'm drawn to, and make no apologies for it.