New update
So, my last post was brief, and vague.
I was lucky enough to have a week or so where I wasn't feeling all emotionally hyped up. I was enjoying the break, I was able to relax a bit, but I'm also emotionally exhausted still.
I'm still in a funk, I just don't have the energy to fight anymore, I don't have the desire to stay or go.
I wasn't feeling and it was nice, I'm still not seriously feeling much, but a friend jumped back into my life at an unexpected moment and jump started some feelings I probably don't need jump started now, but at least I'm feeling right?
I've been staying on the neutral side with John through his birthday, which was the 9th, and we're celebrating w/his folks tomorrow. I will approach the few issues that have come up recently probably next week, depending on whether or not I feel like it.
Not feeling is bad, I know, but for the time I wasn't feeling anything, it was so nice.
I'm still listening to the CD from Sir D, which he dubbed as an angry CD that at one point I was too happy to be able to listen to. Now it's my lifeline again, same as it was just after I moved here.
I know I sound like I'm on repeat, but with my numbness I haven't had a full thought process lately, I just can't seem to express myself how I need to. I should attempt poetry again, it's been a while since I've written anything worth anything but we'll see. I'll have to pull out my writing box and go from there.
Anywho's.... sorry it wasn't a fully exciting update, but I just thought I'd somewhat explain my last one... Yes, I'm feeling some again, but probably not the right things about the right people. Curiosity is ruling right now and that's now how it should be. I'm sad to stay, but terrified to go. We shall see, and of course you will all know when my decision has been made.
*Hugs* *waves*
I was lucky enough to have a week or so where I wasn't feeling all emotionally hyped up. I was enjoying the break, I was able to relax a bit, but I'm also emotionally exhausted still.
I'm still in a funk, I just don't have the energy to fight anymore, I don't have the desire to stay or go.
I wasn't feeling and it was nice, I'm still not seriously feeling much, but a friend jumped back into my life at an unexpected moment and jump started some feelings I probably don't need jump started now, but at least I'm feeling right?
I've been staying on the neutral side with John through his birthday, which was the 9th, and we're celebrating w/his folks tomorrow. I will approach the few issues that have come up recently probably next week, depending on whether or not I feel like it.
Not feeling is bad, I know, but for the time I wasn't feeling anything, it was so nice.
I'm still listening to the CD from Sir D, which he dubbed as an angry CD that at one point I was too happy to be able to listen to. Now it's my lifeline again, same as it was just after I moved here.
I know I sound like I'm on repeat, but with my numbness I haven't had a full thought process lately, I just can't seem to express myself how I need to. I should attempt poetry again, it's been a while since I've written anything worth anything but we'll see. I'll have to pull out my writing box and go from there.
Anywho's.... sorry it wasn't a fully exciting update, but I just thought I'd somewhat explain my last one... Yes, I'm feeling some again, but probably not the right things about the right people. Curiosity is ruling right now and that's now how it should be. I'm sad to stay, but terrified to go. We shall see, and of course you will all know when my decision has been made.
*Hugs* *waves*