Spuffy Pimpage
Note: this is a repost from Oct 13, 2004
I found this while cleaning out my files and I still think it - and the authors discussed - rock, so I'm reposting it in case you missed it, have forgotten it or just need a laugh. (I updated the links so you can find the fic, in case you've been living under a rock and haven't read them yet.)
The Church of Spike
::gospel choir humming in the background::
I'm here today to speak to you all about an unspeakable evil: Spuffy.
That's right, I am here to tell you all that the Joss created world of Spuffy is an abomination to mankind!
No righteous God-fearing human being (Or Goddess-fearing, whatever floats your boat) should have to put up with the horrid, cruel, disgusting insult to all-that-is-good that was BtVS Season 6.
HOWEVER:
Yes, brothers and sisters, there is an alternative! There is, I tell you, another way! A way to walk hand-in-hand with Spuffy and not have to look into the face of Satan! To not have to worry about those over-whelming desires to take a gun and shoot your television set! A way to bathe in the glory that is Spike and not vomit because Buffy is there next to him!
And that way, brothers and sisters, is called AU! I know, I know, some of you are thinking: Alternate Universe! I cannot stand the thought of belittling my beloved lord Spike by making him ::shudder, gasp:: *human*. Worry not, brothers and sisters, because I am going to show you the way! I am going to take you by the hand and lead you to your salvation! There are two missionaries of the good word among us today and I would like you to meet them.
Their names are PaganBaby and NautiBitz.
::more gospel in the background::
Many of you have read some Nauti's fic and I understand your concerns. Yes I do. But I am here to tell you, brothers and sisters, that Nauti has found the path of righteousness and now walks it with us. Our beloved sister Nauti has seen the light I tell you! Glory, Hallelujah! She treads these waters with dignity and grace. (Or smut and kink, sometimes I get them confused.) When your time with me today is through, I'd like you to take a little stroll over and take a look at what Nauti has to offer. If you direct your attention to two specific good works done by our sister Nauti, I promise you, brothers and sisters, that you will not be disappointed. The two good works I speak to you about today are called 'Older' and 'Crash and Burn'. Yes, brothers and sisters, I tell you, these good works are the record of a woman who has walked in the path of righteousness and good. She, brothers and sisters, will make you believe.
You will be shocked! You will be inspired! You will be saved from your Spuffy hating ways!
But wait, brothers and sisters, I have more good news! More of the glory and goodness that is Spike to wash over you today! More good works by another of our beloved sisters. PaganBaby. PaganBaby is another who has, I'm sorry to say, walked the path of evil. She has, on occasion taken that road that leads to Joss Whedon's Spuffy. But fear not! For PaganBaby knows too the way to salvation. She knows and has traveled - over and over again - the golden path of AU Spuffy. She even, bless her heart, has written a story with two brothers named William and Spike for those of us who wish to remember and honor our beloved lord Spike as he was before his resurrection and yet still not have to relinquish our affection for all that is Spike! She has several works that honor the shy poet William for those of us who would bask in this incarnation of our savior. Blessed be her name!
Now, I know, some of you are saying, "Sister Feen, how do I decide? Which way is the right way for me to go? How do I know which path to take: PaganBaby or NautiBitz?"
Well, I'm here to tell you that do not have to decide! You do not, brothers and sisters, have to pick one or the other. That's right! In Sister Feen's Church of Spike, all paths are open to you! You may go one way and let the good word of NautiBitz fill your soul with joy and hope! And then - then, brothers and sisters, I'm telling you that you can come back and start on another road, the road that leads to PaganBaby!
So go, good children, and read the good word. Spread the news and stock up on the batteries! You will, I guarantee, not be disappointed.
Here endeth the lesson.
Yours in Spike,
Sister Feen
I found this while cleaning out my files and I still think it - and the authors discussed - rock, so I'm reposting it in case you missed it, have forgotten it or just need a laugh. (I updated the links so you can find the fic, in case you've been living under a rock and haven't read them yet.)
The Church of Spike
::gospel choir humming in the background::
I'm here today to speak to you all about an unspeakable evil: Spuffy.
That's right, I am here to tell you all that the Joss created world of Spuffy is an abomination to mankind!
No righteous God-fearing human being (Or Goddess-fearing, whatever floats your boat) should have to put up with the horrid, cruel, disgusting insult to all-that-is-good that was BtVS Season 6.
HOWEVER:
Yes, brothers and sisters, there is an alternative! There is, I tell you, another way! A way to walk hand-in-hand with Spuffy and not have to look into the face of Satan! To not have to worry about those over-whelming desires to take a gun and shoot your television set! A way to bathe in the glory that is Spike and not vomit because Buffy is there next to him!
And that way, brothers and sisters, is called AU! I know, I know, some of you are thinking: Alternate Universe! I cannot stand the thought of belittling my beloved lord Spike by making him ::shudder, gasp:: *human*. Worry not, brothers and sisters, because I am going to show you the way! I am going to take you by the hand and lead you to your salvation! There are two missionaries of the good word among us today and I would like you to meet them.
Their names are PaganBaby and NautiBitz.
::more gospel in the background::
Many of you have read some Nauti's fic and I understand your concerns. Yes I do. But I am here to tell you, brothers and sisters, that Nauti has found the path of righteousness and now walks it with us. Our beloved sister Nauti has seen the light I tell you! Glory, Hallelujah! She treads these waters with dignity and grace. (Or smut and kink, sometimes I get them confused.) When your time with me today is through, I'd like you to take a little stroll over and take a look at what Nauti has to offer. If you direct your attention to two specific good works done by our sister Nauti, I promise you, brothers and sisters, that you will not be disappointed. The two good works I speak to you about today are called 'Older' and 'Crash and Burn'. Yes, brothers and sisters, I tell you, these good works are the record of a woman who has walked in the path of righteousness and good. She, brothers and sisters, will make you believe.
You will be shocked! You will be inspired! You will be saved from your Spuffy hating ways!
But wait, brothers and sisters, I have more good news! More of the glory and goodness that is Spike to wash over you today! More good works by another of our beloved sisters. PaganBaby. PaganBaby is another who has, I'm sorry to say, walked the path of evil. She has, on occasion taken that road that leads to Joss Whedon's Spuffy. But fear not! For PaganBaby knows too the way to salvation. She knows and has traveled - over and over again - the golden path of AU Spuffy. She even, bless her heart, has written a story with two brothers named William and Spike for those of us who wish to remember and honor our beloved lord Spike as he was before his resurrection and yet still not have to relinquish our affection for all that is Spike! She has several works that honor the shy poet William for those of us who would bask in this incarnation of our savior. Blessed be her name!
Now, I know, some of you are saying, "Sister Feen, how do I decide? Which way is the right way for me to go? How do I know which path to take: PaganBaby or NautiBitz?"
Well, I'm here to tell you that do not have to decide! You do not, brothers and sisters, have to pick one or the other. That's right! In Sister Feen's Church of Spike, all paths are open to you! You may go one way and let the good word of NautiBitz fill your soul with joy and hope! And then - then, brothers and sisters, I'm telling you that you can come back and start on another road, the road that leads to PaganBaby!
So go, good children, and read the good word. Spread the news and stock up on the batteries! You will, I guarantee, not be disappointed.
Here endeth the lesson.
Yours in Spike,
Sister Feen