Bad thing, a prayer and the Holocaust memorial day
Today, I had to witness something sad and horrible. I stepped up to a bus station when a couple arrived. Immediately I noticed something was wrong, because the woman was wailing, though there was no sign of tears on her face. She had a childish voice, which, with the fact that the man with her was talking unclearly, made me conclude they were retarded or mental. Their fight seemed to revolve around the fact he wanted to leave her to wait for the bus alone and go see some girl named Keren (I guess she was this man's sister, cause he told her on the phone to wait for "mom". Keren couldn't be his daughter; both of quarrelers seemed to share some dependency and at one point I suspected they were engaged. On the other hand at one point he threatened this woman that he'll leave her and propose Keren. Your guess is as good as mine).
The fight was difficult to witness. They have shouted at each other, and kept moving about the bus station. It was difficult to avoid them, which I had to do because at one point Achbartul tried to call me. I can't stand people being this aggressive to each other. The woman has broken up my usual attempt at indifference with her loudness and acute misery. The weird thing was that she started crying the moment the man tried to threaten her or made attempts at walking away. She may have acted out, but it caused me distress all the same. There were terrifying moments in this madness, I even thought I'd seen her pretend to slash her veins open, to make this man react the way she wanted him. He in his turn had called her names, and his screams got louder and louder. at one point he took off his shoes and threw them at her. That bastard.
At first I wanted to ask what was wrong, and why was the woman crying. When I got the picture more or less I wanted to hold her, to calm her. I don't take well people who are suffering openly. I said to myself "hug her, stupid" (stupid, meaning the guy), but when the minutes have passed I understood he wasn't capable of compassion. He was a cold man. At last our bus came. I hoped they weren't waiting for the same bus as me, I wanted to erase this experience, I wanted to listen music and hear comforting words from Achbartul. No. This beast had forced a hug out of himself, and shoved his crying girlfriend in the bus. She continued to wail all the while, even when the bus doors swished behind both of us. I tried to squeeze past her to a seat and noticed all of the passangers were staring at her. I felt myself miserable with anger. She was not weird! She was in pain.
I am not a religious person in any way. I profane the name of God in any chance, but tonight I want to pray:
Please God,
Give me a listening heart, so I may be able to hear people cry,
Give me a feeling heart, so I may be able to sense their pain,
Give me a caring heart, so I can hold out my hand to those who need it,
Give me a brave heart, so I won't be scared of what might happen to me if I try to help,
Give me a seeing heart, so I may be able to find the feelings of those I meet in their faces,
Give me a happy heart, so I can bestow happiness on others,
Give me a loving heart, so I can love those who go unloved in the world.
God,
Hear my prayer and answer it. I want to make movies who will touch the lives of people around the globe, and I won't be able to do that without your help. Moreover, I need to become a better person, and to respect myself.
Today the sun has set on the Israeli Holocaust memorial day. It is due to cold, silent, indifferent people, that the Holocaust was made possible. It is still possible today, and I don't want to a be part of this situation.
Amen.