(no subject)
Ack, so many low days lately. I don't know what is wrong with me. I try to ignore it, snap out of it, but it just keeps coming back. I feel like crying all the time. And the worst part of it is that I have to hide it. From my mom because I dont want her to worry, from my dad (and stepmom) because he blames it on me, and is ashamed of it; And worst of all, from my psychiatrist because it might effect my ability to get a job in health care, because often they require a medical exam, and if that form asks about mental health, she would have to fill it out saying I am okay. I really wish my teacher (that gave me the MMPI and talked with me about my obsessive thoughts) was my therapist. I wish I didnt look to people for help like that. I mean, I know he can't be my therapist, but when I talk to him, I feel so much better temporarily. I feel less alone. I know this is only going to get worse once school is over too because I will be lonely, isolated and pressured to get a job. I feel so lost and stuck.