i miss having a life
i've changed.. so much
today... i've realized this
i dont consider myself real spontanious anymore..
infact.. i feel as if i've become boring to everyone except for my b/f..
WHICH BY THE WAY WE'RE ENGAGED BEG. TODAY =]]
he's like the only person i'm ever with
i'm practically married to him
this i dont mind because i seriously do love him
sux
'cause i never thought i would fall in love
but at the same time
that's what makes this so huge
he makes me want everything i never wanted
♥
he makes me real happy and i dont ever want to give that up..
o yea .. and to all those that almost broke us up so many times
FUCK YOU
honestly, i dont care anymore
people say i've changed.. but i think you wouldn't be so nice if ppl. stabbed you in the back
i hate being mean.
i hate not liking ppl.
but some just straight up ask for it
=/
it makes me sad it really does.
i still love music
i still love going to shows
my show buddies gone =[
and it wont EVER be the same
even though my hun has become like my new show buddie
its different
but all in all i still love it
and prob. one of the reasons why we match so well
we've always been kinda on the same track
just like tammy and i
except him and i liked to make out all night when everyone passed out =]
lol
i feel like my friends are pretty much gone...
my fault???
not too sure...
yea im not the same person
but thats not fair
life has changed
and you're not living my life
i feel like an 80 yr old (yes..michael..i stole the numb. from you ..lol ) sometimes
especially at this job
i like that i can wear what i want
but it depresses me 8-5 mon- fri
what kinda shit is this
fuck the system!
no benefits or insurence..etc. w/ out being a full time employee or a full time student
=[
not fair
im so sad.. like i really wish i could win the fuken lottery
and my moms really upset me right now
i feel bad 'cause i wont even look at her
=[
w/ the friends thing.. it really sux =[
saddens me ...tammy's really the only girl that i've clicked so hard w/
all the time
i clicked w/ boys
justin
josue
josh
john
ryan
geno
mark
etc..
boys always get me
but its a lil more complicating now
and now.. my only girl that ever got me soo well is gone
='[
no one will ever understand how much it kills me
every single day
every single hour
second...
no one...
then there's my other best friends..there's a and l
and we (just as w/ everyone else ) seem to play phone tag w/ eachother.. =[
its not cool 'cause they think i just flake all the time
which is something else too
i FLAKE now =[
sure i try and call
but still .. its sad and wrong
but they do too
=[
how come only mine count
im atleast glad that my friends my age
dont blame me
b/c they're just as busy
i guess its the whole age thing.. they (my younger friends) can hate me until they get to 19 goin on 20!
fuk im old =[
then.. its hitting me
my best friend...soon to leave =[
i'll have no one
or atleast close to.. (as in friend..)
=[
it hurts me alot
i know atleast he's not going GOING like tammy...
but its..like ...b/c im not going to seee him ='[
tammy and him were the same type of friends to me
we might of been great talkers but most of all
we were great active friends. =/
losing best friends is one of the worst things ever
b/c you know there's no one that can replace them
and sometimes.. you wish there were ='[
anyway, so yea..
i dunno...i've just been thinking...
im not the same person..
im an old lady =[
who acts like a lil kid outside of work =]
im a kid at heart
in jail at vps =[
i wish i could just be at home playing video games or drawing w/ alex
i wish i could go back in time
spend one fuken day again w/ tammy (not enough)
spend a day w/ josh when he was a raver and thought i masterbated ..lmao
i wish ..i wish alot..
i srsly hate my job
it srsly depresses me.. im gonna go chugg some fuken vodka
lol
jk
but srsly i go insane in here
i have nothing that interests me here
honestly except to grab a gun and just pull the trigger.. =[
another thing that soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not me
is this whole stupid myspace thing
i fuken HATE Computers!
this isn't like me
anyone who knows me
knows i dont like any of this crap
and LIVEJOURnal! ugh! dont get me started
i've NEVER before kept up this much
i srsly dont even care about other ppls. buisness
putting pix up of myself! TAKE BYMYSELF!can it get any less jen.
honestly!
i hate this shit
i think this job is my worst night mare come true
i need out
the only thing keeping me breathing is hope and my ♥
today... i've realized this
i dont consider myself real spontanious anymore..
infact.. i feel as if i've become boring to everyone except for my b/f..
WHICH BY THE WAY WE'RE ENGAGED BEG. TODAY =]]
he's like the only person i'm ever with
i'm practically married to him
this i dont mind because i seriously do love him
sux
'cause i never thought i would fall in love
but at the same time
that's what makes this so huge
he makes me want everything i never wanted
♥
he makes me real happy and i dont ever want to give that up..
o yea .. and to all those that almost broke us up so many times
FUCK YOU
honestly, i dont care anymore
people say i've changed.. but i think you wouldn't be so nice if ppl. stabbed you in the back
i hate being mean.
i hate not liking ppl.
but some just straight up ask for it
=/
it makes me sad it really does.
i still love music
i still love going to shows
my show buddies gone =[
and it wont EVER be the same
even though my hun has become like my new show buddie
its different
but all in all i still love it
and prob. one of the reasons why we match so well
we've always been kinda on the same track
just like tammy and i
except him and i liked to make out all night when everyone passed out =]
lol
i feel like my friends are pretty much gone...
my fault???
not too sure...
yea im not the same person
but thats not fair
life has changed
and you're not living my life
i feel like an 80 yr old (yes..michael..i stole the numb. from you ..lol ) sometimes
especially at this job
i like that i can wear what i want
but it depresses me 8-5 mon- fri
what kinda shit is this
fuck the system!
no benefits or insurence..etc. w/ out being a full time employee or a full time student
=[
not fair
im so sad.. like i really wish i could win the fuken lottery
and my moms really upset me right now
i feel bad 'cause i wont even look at her
=[
w/ the friends thing.. it really sux =[
saddens me ...tammy's really the only girl that i've clicked so hard w/
all the time
i clicked w/ boys
justin
josue
josh
john
ryan
geno
mark
etc..
boys always get me
but its a lil more complicating now
and now.. my only girl that ever got me soo well is gone
='[
no one will ever understand how much it kills me
every single day
every single hour
second...
no one...
then there's my other best friends..there's a and l
and we (just as w/ everyone else ) seem to play phone tag w/ eachother.. =[
its not cool 'cause they think i just flake all the time
which is something else too
i FLAKE now =[
sure i try and call
but still .. its sad and wrong
but they do too
=[
how come only mine count
im atleast glad that my friends my age
dont blame me
b/c they're just as busy
i guess its the whole age thing.. they (my younger friends) can hate me until they get to 19 goin on 20!
fuk im old =[
then.. its hitting me
my best friend...soon to leave =[
i'll have no one
or atleast close to.. (as in friend..)
=[
it hurts me alot
i know atleast he's not going GOING like tammy...
but its..like ...b/c im not going to seee him ='[
tammy and him were the same type of friends to me
we might of been great talkers but most of all
we were great active friends. =/
losing best friends is one of the worst things ever
b/c you know there's no one that can replace them
and sometimes.. you wish there were ='[
anyway, so yea..
i dunno...i've just been thinking...
im not the same person..
im an old lady =[
who acts like a lil kid outside of work =]
im a kid at heart
in jail at vps =[
i wish i could just be at home playing video games or drawing w/ alex
i wish i could go back in time
spend one fuken day again w/ tammy (not enough)
spend a day w/ josh when he was a raver and thought i masterbated ..lmao
i wish ..i wish alot..
i srsly hate my job
it srsly depresses me.. im gonna go chugg some fuken vodka
lol
jk
but srsly i go insane in here
i have nothing that interests me here
honestly except to grab a gun and just pull the trigger.. =[
another thing that soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not me
is this whole stupid myspace thing
i fuken HATE Computers!
this isn't like me
anyone who knows me
knows i dont like any of this crap
and LIVEJOURnal! ugh! dont get me started
i've NEVER before kept up this much
i srsly dont even care about other ppls. buisness
putting pix up of myself! TAKE BYMYSELF!can it get any less jen.
honestly!
i hate this shit
i think this job is my worst night mare come true
i need out
the only thing keeping me breathing is hope and my ♥