=PwE
so i think i'm finally getting over him..
i think i'm realizing that maybe i was never "under" him
i think ..maybe it was the lonelyness making me hold on to something unreal...
?? idk..either way it feels good to feel free
anyhow, lately i've just been going out
having fun with friends
lorena of course lol and more
it's been cool
the other day the girls and i got together to catch up
ugh =/
i hate getting tog with them sometimes because it's a whole different world
i mean dont get me wrong..i loved it and i insist we do it more often b/c they're really important to me
but i hate it .in the sense that it's like a reality smack..
for example, i feel like they're all doing something with their lives
they've either graduated from college
have their BA AA or some degree or will have one in like a month or so
they have goals for the future
i feel like a kid
especially compared to them
i feel like a lost kid
aimless...
i mean Now i feel like i'm going to do something...but it's going to be a couple months of pointless struggle
just experiencing life in a different environment...
idk.....then, there's that question..."jen..is there anyone in the picture" type of deal...ugh and they just haad to ask it in such a "good time" lol
my mom was in the garage and i know she heard that one
she prob. felt bad for me and didnt want to rub it in...she had just given me a hard time about this just the other night
"what! what is it that you are looking for in a guy!...that guy likes you and he's cute..he seems responsible! what is it?"
lol dude! ah!
nope... no guy...but what i hate the most is that
for the most part i'm ok with this
b/c if i think about it
i don't feel like i'm ready for the whole serious relationship quite yet
i still feel young and i still feel like i need to experience the dating scene for as long as i can while i'm this age
i dont think i even want to find "the one" until i'm like 30 or something
and i hate that everyone finds this sooo horrible
..i thought the times had changed...but i guess not
i feel like everyone is worried for my security
security to them= a man who has more than i have going for themselves...
i feel like i'm worried about my security
security= my career/ my success
but i mean...of course i get lonely
and of course i want someone too! but idk..in the end i just want to have fun while i can and just live it up for as long as i can
single....
whats soo wrong with this... ??
=/
idk..but Everyone!!! lately seems to be reminding me of how old iam (everyone keeps telling me i'm old! wtf!?? lol) and how i have no one holding my hand (no one being a man...)
dude
wtf?
FUCK YOU! ha
-looking forward to next year
-looking forward to xmas
-trying to stay posi about everything =]
i think i'm realizing that maybe i was never "under" him
i think ..maybe it was the lonelyness making me hold on to something unreal...
?? idk..either way it feels good to feel free
anyhow, lately i've just been going out
having fun with friends
lorena of course lol and more
it's been cool
the other day the girls and i got together to catch up
ugh =/
i hate getting tog with them sometimes because it's a whole different world
i mean dont get me wrong..i loved it and i insist we do it more often b/c they're really important to me
but i hate it .in the sense that it's like a reality smack..
for example, i feel like they're all doing something with their lives
they've either graduated from college
have their BA AA or some degree or will have one in like a month or so
they have goals for the future
i feel like a kid
especially compared to them
i feel like a lost kid
aimless...
i mean Now i feel like i'm going to do something...but it's going to be a couple months of pointless struggle
just experiencing life in a different environment...
idk.....then, there's that question..."jen..is there anyone in the picture" type of deal...ugh and they just haad to ask it in such a "good time" lol
my mom was in the garage and i know she heard that one
she prob. felt bad for me and didnt want to rub it in...she had just given me a hard time about this just the other night
"what! what is it that you are looking for in a guy!...that guy likes you and he's cute..he seems responsible! what is it?"
lol dude! ah!
nope... no guy...but what i hate the most is that
for the most part i'm ok with this
b/c if i think about it
i don't feel like i'm ready for the whole serious relationship quite yet
i still feel young and i still feel like i need to experience the dating scene for as long as i can while i'm this age
i dont think i even want to find "the one" until i'm like 30 or something
and i hate that everyone finds this sooo horrible
..i thought the times had changed...but i guess not
i feel like everyone is worried for my security
security to them= a man who has more than i have going for themselves...
i feel like i'm worried about my security
security= my career/ my success
but i mean...of course i get lonely
and of course i want someone too! but idk..in the end i just want to have fun while i can and just live it up for as long as i can
single....
whats soo wrong with this... ??
=/
idk..but Everyone!!! lately seems to be reminding me of how old iam (everyone keeps telling me i'm old! wtf!?? lol) and how i have no one holding my hand (no one being a man...)
dude
wtf?
FUCK YOU! ha
-looking forward to next year
-looking forward to xmas
-trying to stay posi about everything =]