(no subject)
I feel like I've been going in a downward spiral these past few months. Ever since Jeff transferred to Muskegon things have been way different. I've lost a lot of friends. Well, maybe not lost, but I'm definitely not as close to them as I used to be. I hate it.
Jeff has been blowing me off for his new best friends from Shores. He hasn't talked to me much about them at all. I haven't talked to Kevin hardly at all since Jeff left. Sarah's been extremely distant, mostly because of having a boyfriend..but I believe I've been replaced by Courtney and Sue's been replaced by Laura. Sue's been acting funny for the past couple of weeks. I just don't get it.
My open house is coming up really fast...time is just flying by, and I have so much left to prepare for it. I don't even have my invitations made or sent out.
I'm also stressing about the AP english exam. I really want to get the college credit, but moreso, I need to get a good score so that NM's total score stays amazing. But I feel like I can't do it. I'm a great writer, and I know that, but under time pressure...it's really hard. I wish I hadn't signed up for it.
I'm not going to say I haven't had any fun or haven't been happy, or atleast content at one point or another, but it's been strange. I feel like I have no control over anything. I'm such a pussy when it comes to rejection. If someone doesn't talk to me or acts strangely then I take it personally and don't have the guts to go up and talk to them. I want to, I just can't bring myself to do so. I hate losing friends, because really, they're all you've got. You pour your heart and soul into the friendship and work real hard at it...but it can disappear so fast.
I love my friends more than anything, and whether they know it or believe it, I love them so much. Even if we haven't talked in a long time, I still think about them everyday, and I can't help but go over in my mind what happened and if I did anything wrong. So if I did, I apologize immensely. I want to fix everything.
But I can't.
Jeff has been blowing me off for his new best friends from Shores. He hasn't talked to me much about them at all. I haven't talked to Kevin hardly at all since Jeff left. Sarah's been extremely distant, mostly because of having a boyfriend..but I believe I've been replaced by Courtney and Sue's been replaced by Laura. Sue's been acting funny for the past couple of weeks. I just don't get it.
My open house is coming up really fast...time is just flying by, and I have so much left to prepare for it. I don't even have my invitations made or sent out.
I'm also stressing about the AP english exam. I really want to get the college credit, but moreso, I need to get a good score so that NM's total score stays amazing. But I feel like I can't do it. I'm a great writer, and I know that, but under time pressure...it's really hard. I wish I hadn't signed up for it.
I'm not going to say I haven't had any fun or haven't been happy, or atleast content at one point or another, but it's been strange. I feel like I have no control over anything. I'm such a pussy when it comes to rejection. If someone doesn't talk to me or acts strangely then I take it personally and don't have the guts to go up and talk to them. I want to, I just can't bring myself to do so. I hate losing friends, because really, they're all you've got. You pour your heart and soul into the friendship and work real hard at it...but it can disappear so fast.
I love my friends more than anything, and whether they know it or believe it, I love them so much. Even if we haven't talked in a long time, I still think about them everyday, and I can't help but go over in my mind what happened and if I did anything wrong. So if I did, I apologize immensely. I want to fix everything.
But I can't.