Guess who's back!..... finally i know!
That's right, it's me again! :)
Decided to come back and type my thoughts that i have been feeling. I most likely will not be near what i want to say before i go to bed, but i will try and get most of it down tonight. Lots of things have changed, like family. I talked about my grandma's a lot during when i was really into LJ. Well both of them have passed away since. They passed away within a month of each other, Nanny in semptember and Memaw in october 4 days before my mom's birthday and died on my uncles birthday. i think that was the hardest thing i have ever went through in my life. Loosing two grandmothers that were soo loving and caring to being so sick and never complaining to passing away. I miss them each and everyday, wishing i could talk to them, but knowing they are with me through everything that i am going through at the moment. My grandmother that passed away 2nd, i had lived with her for over 15 years with my parents and i still think it hasn't hit me that i will not ever hear her laugh or see her smile again. I still haven't been to her grave stone yet, been meaning too... but just can't seem to get the will to go. My mom has been taken it so hard and it's getting to the point that i am worried about her. yes, she is getting a lot better, but the fact that she hates being in that house alone all day long makes her go crazy and she resorts to going out and drinking. My mom was my grandma's caretaker when my grandma had her massive stroke that would have killed anyone else but not her. She was bed ridden and my mom decided to become her 24 hour caretaker. Both my mother and my grandmother are the strongest women that i have ever met and could ever meet. I am so grateful to have had my grandmother in my life that cared for me like she did and still to have my mother with me today. I wish i was closer to my dad's mother. I used to spend summers at her house and she would take me fishing and to the beach all the time with my cousins and i in her 19something mustang :) those were the days that i miss. My dad side of the family right now is just to much to handle and can't even go into detail about what is going on with them. But other than that i do miss my grandmother's so much and i know they are smiling down on me and are both very proud of me.
Other important news is..... i am finally graduating from college!!! I will be the first ever in my family to have graduated from college and have a real college diploma! It's very exciting and just can't wait to finally be done at New World. Last semester i was being treated like shit to this semester they are actually starting to be nicer to me. What a concept me leaving in 4 months and now they start to be nicer to me! But i guess you can say they were always nice to me, but never gave me what i deserved! School has been a bit crazy!! My senior recital is in April and my grad school audition is this month! So much to do so little time right now. I am trying to make the best out of the whole situation of being at this school and in miami by hanging out with my beloved friends that i will miss so much when i leave. A lot of my friends have said they are wanting to move out of miami and go to a different state. I am just going 300 miles away back home. (Which of course i am nervous about) Moving is going to be interesting, good thing i only have a bed and an amoir that i have to move. I will need to start getting boxes to pack the little stuff up. What else, what else can i talk about that won't take to long to type..... what the fact that the teachers decided to change my entire recital rep to lower rep, because they think it will do me some good to sing low.... makes me confused as to what i am... but get excited i get to sing "Va! les coule me larme" and some other pretty stuff like "Bus und Reu" from Bach's St. Matthew Passion. It's very pretty but pretty low... i will have to make a list out soon of my entire recital!
Yep i think that might be it for tonight... MORE to come though!
Decided to come back and type my thoughts that i have been feeling. I most likely will not be near what i want to say before i go to bed, but i will try and get most of it down tonight. Lots of things have changed, like family. I talked about my grandma's a lot during when i was really into LJ. Well both of them have passed away since. They passed away within a month of each other, Nanny in semptember and Memaw in october 4 days before my mom's birthday and died on my uncles birthday. i think that was the hardest thing i have ever went through in my life. Loosing two grandmothers that were soo loving and caring to being so sick and never complaining to passing away. I miss them each and everyday, wishing i could talk to them, but knowing they are with me through everything that i am going through at the moment. My grandmother that passed away 2nd, i had lived with her for over 15 years with my parents and i still think it hasn't hit me that i will not ever hear her laugh or see her smile again. I still haven't been to her grave stone yet, been meaning too... but just can't seem to get the will to go. My mom has been taken it so hard and it's getting to the point that i am worried about her. yes, she is getting a lot better, but the fact that she hates being in that house alone all day long makes her go crazy and she resorts to going out and drinking. My mom was my grandma's caretaker when my grandma had her massive stroke that would have killed anyone else but not her. She was bed ridden and my mom decided to become her 24 hour caretaker. Both my mother and my grandmother are the strongest women that i have ever met and could ever meet. I am so grateful to have had my grandmother in my life that cared for me like she did and still to have my mother with me today. I wish i was closer to my dad's mother. I used to spend summers at her house and she would take me fishing and to the beach all the time with my cousins and i in her 19something mustang :) those were the days that i miss. My dad side of the family right now is just to much to handle and can't even go into detail about what is going on with them. But other than that i do miss my grandmother's so much and i know they are smiling down on me and are both very proud of me.
Other important news is..... i am finally graduating from college!!! I will be the first ever in my family to have graduated from college and have a real college diploma! It's very exciting and just can't wait to finally be done at New World. Last semester i was being treated like shit to this semester they are actually starting to be nicer to me. What a concept me leaving in 4 months and now they start to be nicer to me! But i guess you can say they were always nice to me, but never gave me what i deserved! School has been a bit crazy!! My senior recital is in April and my grad school audition is this month! So much to do so little time right now. I am trying to make the best out of the whole situation of being at this school and in miami by hanging out with my beloved friends that i will miss so much when i leave. A lot of my friends have said they are wanting to move out of miami and go to a different state. I am just going 300 miles away back home. (Which of course i am nervous about) Moving is going to be interesting, good thing i only have a bed and an amoir that i have to move. I will need to start getting boxes to pack the little stuff up. What else, what else can i talk about that won't take to long to type..... what the fact that the teachers decided to change my entire recital rep to lower rep, because they think it will do me some good to sing low.... makes me confused as to what i am... but get excited i get to sing "Va! les coule me larme" and some other pretty stuff like "Bus und Reu" from Bach's St. Matthew Passion. It's very pretty but pretty low... i will have to make a list out soon of my entire recital!
Yep i think that might be it for tonight... MORE to come though!