(no subject)
blah. today sucks. i had the hardest test of my life. but luckily i will never have to endure the Chem II AP semester exam ever again. so he didn't leave. i spent all of tuesday night crying my eyes out, shaking, screaming, loving...all of my emotions were drained from my body that night. i went to school the next day with the worst headache, puffy eyes, and no makeup. it sucked so bad. and then i find out that he isn't leaving till sunday. it's no fault of his, and i'm not saying it's a bad thing that i let all that emotion out, it's just that i wish it would have been worth something. i'm not sure if that's going to happen on saturday night when i have to endure the goodbyes again. grr. i just can't wait till he gets back. he threw the "L" word randomly at me last night. it caught me way off guard, because we usually don't use that unless the conversation went really serious. or unless he's been drinking. oh yeah...he was drinking. damnit. i really wonder sometimes if he could ever say it to me sober. and not just say it, but mean it. but he knows that...so maybe it will happen someday. he's not talking to me right now. i'm not sure what's going on...but he stopped responding to my texts, and he refuses to get online or answer the phone. hmm. i might have to go down there and kick his ass. i have to leave in a half hour for honor band. yay woo. our music is so freakin boring and i'm going to be there for like 7 hours. death to honor band. o well...i'm just wasting time right now so i think i'll go sing or something. laters...