(no subject)
my oh my. where to start? i can't stand being trapped anymore. i can't stand being caught in the middle of all of this-being told that i am the reason for it, and i'm the only one who can do anything about it, even though we all know that i have no say anymore. i tried to let you know what i wanted, but you surpassed my wishes and catered to yours. so i throw up my hands and give this to someone much stronger than i. all i'm trying to do is live in this world, and come out a decent person. all i want is to be content with where i am and live my life like a regular human being, whatever that may be. but with being a human being, i have so much welled up inside me that sometimes, it just bursts. but what can ya do?
he drives me crazy. he makes me want to spin around in circles until i fall into oblivion. he makes me want to live. to live freely and openly, like a child, or a bird. i just want to run outside and take in a breath of fresh air and know that someone out there loves me for me. it's kind of like that scene in the sound of music, where maria runs through the hills and sings at the top of her lungs...i can't quite explain what i feel. i can't stop smiling. i can't stop thinking, and hoping, and praying, and wishing. i can't stop checking my darned phone to see if he's called.
how can someone hurt so badly and be in so much pain with one aspect, and still have the energy and heart to feel so happy with another. it's like i feel so drained and tired when i think about what's going on with the family, but the second i talk to him, or even hear the phone ring, i'm happy. and not only am i happy, i'm happy beyond belief. i'm happier than any one person could be and any one specific time. it's like all of the happiness in the world comes flowing into my face and my mind and my heart and i just can't help but be excited...
i need to be packing right now, or cleaning my room. neither of which sound very appealing to me at the moment, but both of which must be completed. and, seeing as how it is now 2:30 in the morning, and i have to leave my house in four hours, i've decided it's time to get off and stop rambling.
he drives me crazy. he makes me want to spin around in circles until i fall into oblivion. he makes me want to live. to live freely and openly, like a child, or a bird. i just want to run outside and take in a breath of fresh air and know that someone out there loves me for me. it's kind of like that scene in the sound of music, where maria runs through the hills and sings at the top of her lungs...i can't quite explain what i feel. i can't stop smiling. i can't stop thinking, and hoping, and praying, and wishing. i can't stop checking my darned phone to see if he's called.
how can someone hurt so badly and be in so much pain with one aspect, and still have the energy and heart to feel so happy with another. it's like i feel so drained and tired when i think about what's going on with the family, but the second i talk to him, or even hear the phone ring, i'm happy. and not only am i happy, i'm happy beyond belief. i'm happier than any one person could be and any one specific time. it's like all of the happiness in the world comes flowing into my face and my mind and my heart and i just can't help but be excited...
i need to be packing right now, or cleaning my room. neither of which sound very appealing to me at the moment, but both of which must be completed. and, seeing as how it is now 2:30 in the morning, and i have to leave my house in four hours, i've decided it's time to get off and stop rambling.