do me a favor and let me know, cause its hard to tell.
i feel so childish some times. like i catch myself, in a really immature thing or something i'm saying...and i just feel this whole wave of regret. and at the same time, i don't like to say that. that i don't want to be childish anymore. because, i really am gonna miss being that oblivious to the world.
but its time for me to move on, its been time for a while now. and i'm not sure where any of this is going, its very confusing, all of it. but i guess for the first time, i really just want to: grow. up.
so today, was today. i felt pretty unwanted for a chunk of it, then that feeling dissappeared entirely. haha, that probably made like no sense whatsoever to any of you.
lately, i find myself getting jealous, like really jealous. i hate it. and half the reason i am jealous is cause i have no self-esteem so i just automatically assume the worst. i guess its natural for me to feel this way...? but no, no its not. i shouldn't, not anyone else, just me. i should just accept that i cant have things all to myself anymore.
it'd be so easy, for me to lose everything. from someone elses temptation to try something new. to move on from me, who doesn't deserve any of it. when they could have so much more, and you know they'd take it, you can't help but feel this way.
...i guess?...
but its time for me to move on, its been time for a while now. and i'm not sure where any of this is going, its very confusing, all of it. but i guess for the first time, i really just want to: grow. up.
so today, was today. i felt pretty unwanted for a chunk of it, then that feeling dissappeared entirely. haha, that probably made like no sense whatsoever to any of you.
lately, i find myself getting jealous, like really jealous. i hate it. and half the reason i am jealous is cause i have no self-esteem so i just automatically assume the worst. i guess its natural for me to feel this way...? but no, no its not. i shouldn't, not anyone else, just me. i should just accept that i cant have things all to myself anymore.
it'd be so easy, for me to lose everything. from someone elses temptation to try something new. to move on from me, who doesn't deserve any of it. when they could have so much more, and you know they'd take it, you can't help but feel this way.
...i guess?...