Fic: Things Changed 1/1
Things Changed
Purple_Dragon24
Summary: There were parts of Jack’s life that would be changed forever, things he couldn’t do anymore, kinks he would never enjoy again, all because of one sadistic bastard.
Author’s Note: This isn’t my first foray into Torchwood, but it’s my first in since season 2 (I’m in denial about anything after S3 ep 3. It didn’t happen, I’m positive. However I was watching these episodes recently with my partner who only sort of watches DW & TW and came up with this.
Rated: PG-13 for now
He was different now, he wished he could shake the constant and familiar feeling of fear when something happened he wasn’t expecting. He’d heard and seen it personally from violent crime victims, or from war prisoners, they would put on a façade for everyone they loved, but deep down every little explosion startled them, every push from a stranger caused a near panic attack.
Jack liked to think he had more control than those people, after all he’d seen the horrors of a couple centuries, but this had been different. The things that he’d been through had been unlike anything could’ve imagined. Whenever he closed his eyes, the man’s face was there; his voice was right behind him, whispering horrors in his ears, cutting into his flesh, finding another slow way to kill him.
He’d been back for five days; it had been four days since John had left with the whisper of Gray. His team was still tense around him and he couldn’t quite blame them, he was positive if they’d abandoned him he’d be pissed too. He had been at first, but then a year had passed and he’d watched all four of his team members die in painfully awfully ways, Ianto’s had been the worst once the Master had realized what exactly the two men meant to one another. In five days he hadn’t slept yet, he was positive he looked like hell, he was averaging about ten cups of coffee a day, which wasn’t left unnoticed by Ianto, even Owen had started to notice that he was looking more haggard than usual.
He still had yet to take Ianto on a date; he was determined to get past his hang ups before that occurred. “Jack,” a voice startled him, Ianto, more than it should have. He looked over, trying to mask the final hints of panic from the Welshman.
“Ianto?”
“Sir, there’s been a Weevil sighting on the far side of town, perhaps you’d like us to go and you can stay here?”
Jack shook his head, “I’m fine, let’s go,” he grabbed his Webley and strapped it on as they made their way out into the main Hub
“Tosh, keep in touch with us from here,” he called as he stepped onto the platform.
“Sir, we need the SUV,” Ianto said quietly beside him.
Jack nodded, “I know, go get it and pull around, I’ll meet you up there.” He didn’t want to admit that walking through the hallways made him nervous because they were dark and small. He felt foolish, a grown man of 150 or more and here he was suddenly terrified of the dark and small spaces again. He stepped onto the platform while the rest of his team headed through the tunnel as he made his way up top.
He didn’t like sleeping in his old bunk anymore, it had been the reason he hadn’t slept in so long. He wondered if the others were struggling this much. He’d considered calling the Jones’ family on more than a few occasions to see how they were coping with everything, but he didn’t want to remind them of the pain and that’s all it would be.
The SUV pulled up in front of him several moments later and he climbed in to sit next to Ianto, “Right when we get there, Owen and Gwen I want you guys to secure the perimeter, Ianto and I will go after the Weevil.”
“Jack-” Owen began, his initial anger at the Captain’s disappearance was rapidly turning into concern. He’d known Jack for awhile now and never had he ever seen Jack look this…exhausted and old. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and Owen was willing to be that assumption was dead on.
“Owen, leave it,” Jack replied. They arrived at the sighting location, and the four got out, Owen and Gwen did as told and went one way, while Jack took Ianto in the opposite direction.
“How long were you gone, Jack? Really?”
“I told you.”
Ianto shook his head, “No, you told us you went with your Doctor, but you didn’t say where. Jack, you’re barely awake it seems, you’re not safe to be out here, much less carrying a gun. So what happened, where were you that was so awful?”
“I can’t tell you,” Jack whispered, his voice on the hint of raw, but he remained firm. “I’m not ready.”
“How long were you gone?”
“A year…and six weeks. Please Ianto, I promise at some point I’ll tell you everything. I’m just not ready.”
Ianto seemed to understand and left Jack in silence as they hunted for the creature, “I was thinking, perhaps you’d like to have dinner at mine tonight…you could spend the night.”
“Ooh, really?” Jack grinned.
“Jack, we have to set some limits, because I won’t let you hurt me again, but don’t think I haven’t noticed you aren’t sleeping. I’m offering you a place to sleep where you know you’re safe. I don’t know what happened to you, but if it’s keeping you from really sleeping, then it’s nothing good.”
Jack was surprised by the offer, he looked at Ianto and nodded, “Thank you,” he murmured.
Forty minutes later they decided to call it quits and head back to the hub, Jack sent everyone home, much to the girls’ pleasure, and he followed Ianto to his flat. Ianto opened the door, watching as Jack just stood in the threshold. “Jack?”
Jack shook his head, “I don’t deserve this.”
Ianto sighed, this was worse than he originally thought. Jack was always confident, bordering on cock sure. Now he seemed terrified that everything and everyone he loved would leave him. Ianto went to grab his wrist, but as soon as his fingers wrapped around Jack’s wrist, Jack panicked. “No!” He shouted with surprise, his eyes wide as he stepped back. “I’m sorry,” Jack suddenly whispered.
“It’s okay…do you not want to come in, we can go elsewhere.”
“I’m fine,” Jack replied as he stepped inside, berating himself for the panic, he hadn’t worn his wrist strap for days because it felt like the shackles that had been around his wrists, anything clamping around his wrists scared him. He couldn’t even have bondage sex anymore; the Master had taken that away from him too. He felt his heart ache at the thought of what he’d done. Surely he could get back into the rhythm of things again; he just had to force it.
“You’re anything but fine, Jack. It’s not right for you to lie to yourself about this either. Whatever happened, it’s really bothering you. Look, I’m not angry at you and I wasn’t really to begin with. I will stand here and tell you that you won’t hurt me again like you did. But ultimately I’m here because I care about you and want to make sure you’re going to be okay.”
“A year of being tied up and torture.”
“What?”
“I was trussed up like some creature and played with like a broken toy by a man who was so clearly out of his mind that we’d have been dreaming if we even hoped for him to act mildly sane.”
“Who?”
“Saxon and his wife. It was me, the Doctor and a family called the Jones’, Martha Jones, her sister and parents. Martha got off the ship though, the rest of the family served as Saxson’s master, The Doctor was really only there to laugh at…but I was his personal play thing. Whenever he got angry, or upset, hell even when he couldn’t care less, he came to me.”
“He tortured and killed you?”
“Repeatedly, and once he got bored of that he started finding ways to do it slowly, or to bring me within inches of death but keep me conscious, he played mind games…he even…he even brought you guys on board half way through the year.”
“Jack,” Ianto whispered as he stepped close, gently wiping the tears away Jack hadn’t known he’d been crying.
“He killed you all. The girls first, there wasn’t much of a fight with them. Then Owen who was furious, but he died quickly. You though…you lasted almost a month, you must have watched me killed half a dozen times…” Jack closed his eyes.
“Jack, it’s clearly over and you are safe now. I know you want to force your way through this as if nothing ever happened, but you need to heal.”
“I don’t know how. I kept hoping…hoping I’d just forget. I even considered retconning myself.”
Ianto shook his head, “That won’t solve anything, you look exhausted, Jack. Let’s go take a shower and then I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”
Jack nodded very slowly and let Ianto grip his hand and lead him into the bathroom, he turned the hot water on, and began to strip Jack. Eventually, with the Jack’s underwear gone, Ianto began to undress as well and they stepped into the shower together. “You’ve seen horrors beyond imagination. Let me show you what love looks and feels like, please, Cariad?”
Jack was surprised by this, he hadn’t expected Ianto to forgive him, much less love him immediately. Ianto started with the shampoo, running his fingers through Jack’s hair and scrubbing gently, eventually he tilted Jack’s head back to rinse. He could practically imagine a line across Jack’s juglar to drain him of his blood. Once the soap was all gone he moved on to scrubbing Jack’s skin, by the end of the shower Jack looked well on his way to slumber, and Ianto was beginning to feel exhausted as well. They dried off and climbed onto the bed, Ianto lay curled in front of Jack. “Go to sleep, Jack.”
“I should’ve told you before I left, I love you.”
Ianto smiled as he ran his fingers across Jack’s lips and face, “I love you too, go to sleep, I’ll be here to keep the nightmares away.”
“Always have been.”
Ianto smiled as he watched the Captain drift off, even if there were nightmares, he’d do everything he could to make sure Jack had a fitful sleep tonight. He pressed a kiss to Jack’s forehead and closed his eyes, just happy to have his lover and friend back.
The End