(no subject)
city lights and neon signs.
onsica, hinted!jongkey. romance, fluff, fail. 1822 words. au. pg-13.
jinki brings a whole new colour to jessica's world.
notes: for eesor . happy birthday bb. ilu. ♥ i'm sorry it's kind of crappy, and yes, i still owe you that happy!onsica fic (one that's not crappy) but yeah. i felt bad for not being able to talk to you all day. ♥ idek if it's still your birthday. it probably isn't 'cause it's almost 3 AM here. :C
um. it's all in lapslock and there's probably a million typos because i'm exhausted and this was written pretty much on a whim. sort of~
The silence depressed me. It wasn’t the silence of silence. It was my own silence. I knew perfectly well the cars were making a noise, and the people in them and behind the lit windows of the buildings were making a noise, and the river was making a noise, but I couldn’t hear a thing. The city hung in my window, flat as a poster, glittering and blinking, but it might just as well not have been there at all, for the good it did me.
- The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
a sigh slipped through pale lips, eyes glazed as she cast her vision across the city outside. seoul, a city that deserved the title of "the city that never sleeps" far more than new york ever would, but all she ever felt was loneliness.
surrounded by people--walking, talking, eating, crying--and she was alone. it seemed strange to be alone in such a busy city, something not quite fitting right with the idea.
but here she was, alone, in a city of millions.
+
the streets were crowded, people headed in every direction, most likely on their way to work.
jessica paid no mind to the people, drowning herself in her headphones, eyes on the pavement as she walked. it was overcast; the sky dark and foreboding, perfectly matching the shades of grey jessica saw all around. it was rather befitting to her mood as of late, she thought, smiling to herself slightly as she made her way down the stairs to the subway platform.
+
everything in her life was routine; organised. it wasn't just that she worked at the same time every day, and left at the same time every day after doing the same thing she did every other damn day, but there was no excitement. no spur-of-the-moment happenings to splash a little colour back into her life (save maybe the occasional run-in with a moving vehicle, and lengthy phone conversations with her mother).
it was pancakes for breakfast, skipping lunch in favour of a cigarette break, and instant ramen for dinner.
+
it was a tuesday morning, if she remembers correctly. she'd only been at work for all of maybe an hour, but her boss called her into his office. the sinking feeling that had been sitting in the pit of her stomach only seemed to grow as she made her way past the office cubicles to the elevator. she took a few deep breaths and adjusted her dress as she waited for the doors to slide open.
+
'please don't misunderstand--you're not being fired, just... put on unpaid vacation for a little while.'
the sinking feeling--dread--sat heavy in her stomach as she finished up work for the day, having been told she could leave at lunch time. it was a strange feeling. it wasn't just that she was now unemployed for almost eight months, but it was different. and different mean disorganisation, a spanner in the works.
to hell with it, she thought. what better way to forget about having no income for a while than by wasting her money at a club? and if she were lucky, she'd pick up some nice, sleazy guy along the way.
+
jessica runs into a problem (some time between the subway station and her apartment) when she remembers that, not only does she no longer own appropriate clubbing clothes, but she doesn't even know where the popular clubs are anymore. they'd slipped through the cracks of her mundane life, somewhere along with the contact she kept with old college friends.
she's frustrated and angry by this time, kicking the light post she was standing next to just for some sort of outlet. she stops suddenly when she feels a hand on her shoulder, panicking for a second.
'hey, hey, hey. you're going to ruin those pretty shoes.'
jessica turns on her heel, glaring daggers at the stranger. his smile faltered for a second, but it was back as quickly as it had disappeared.
'considering i've just saved you from ruining what looks like a 200,000 won pair of shoes, let me buy you a coffee or something.' jessica doesn't even bother to point out that his offer doesn't really make much sense to her, but she shrugs and says okay anyway.
+
they don't end up going to a cafe, as jessica thought they would have but instead head back to his apartment.
(he turns out to still be in college--a fact which surprises her--studying to become a psychologist.)
'it's closer, really, and kibum makes the most amazing coffee,' he says, nodding enthusiastically. her glare is long gone, finding his smile rather catching.
jessica just smiles and stands to the side awkwardly, ignoring the side-glances she's recieving from the one who was introduced as kibum, and the cat calls from the one who boldly introduced himself as jonghyun.
+
'you never told me your name.'
they're sitting on his bed now, sipping at their (amazing, as promised) coffee and it all seems awfully juvenile, despite the fact that they're both adults.
'jinki,' he says, holding out his spare hand for her to shake.
'suyeon--well, i usually go by jessica.' he laughs at this.
'well, suyeon, jessica, depending on which name you go by, we could start a club--' she quirks her eyebrow at him. 'for people whose names start with j, of course!'
'you'd better include me in this!' they hear from outside the door, and jessica looks at jinki incredulously for a second, before laughing harder than she'd laughed in years. jinki thinks maybe he should explain that jonghyun was probably outside eavesdropping on their every word, but he doesn't see it necessary in the end.
when jessica leaves, it's to promises of meeting again and jonghyun's shout of: 'dude, you got her in your bed and it wasn't even a date!' and after, 'no no, i didn't mean it like that!'
+
jessica soon discovers that there's a little more colour in her life lately, light pastels working their ways in from the edges of what was once grey. it's nice, she thinks.
but the city seemed just as lonely as it had always been. the loneliness lingered, and it didn't take long for her to fall into a new routine--wake up, eat breakfast, text jinki, sleep again, eat dinner, go to bed. rinse and repeat--plus the occasional outing with jinki, key, and jonghyun.
+
before long, jinki calls jessica up to tell him that they're on break from college for a few weeks and that they would very much like for her to accompany them on a trip to 'the beach--somewhere down past busan.'
(when jessica asks 'which beach?' jinki replies with: 'whichever we decide to go to.')
something in her said to say no, that it wasn't part of the routine, but another part said yes, yes, yes--vivid colours and sunlight and everything she wanted from the city, but couldn't find.
'okay, when are we leaving?' she jots down the details and tells jinki she'll see him in the morning, seven o'clock.
+
jessica oversleeps and ends up answering the door in her pyjamas, hair tied in a messy ponytail, much to the amusement of the two boys in the back seat of jinki's car.
it's soon forgotten when they're in the car, radio up, singing along to whatever song happens to be playing.
there's a little more colour around the edges today, she thinks.
+
there's something about the beach that jessica has always liked. sure, the sand made her itchy and the salty water caused her hair to frizz like mad, but she didn't mind.
jessica thinks maybe she should move to the beach. it's late at night, and they'd only been there for a day, but that rebellious part of her mind had been right. here, everything was bright and vivid, as though someone had changed all the settings and suddenly the saturation and contrast were turned up to full.
'whatcha thinkin' about?' jinki asks, opting to lie on top of his sleeping bag instead of inside it. (they were camping on the beach because, not only was it free, but it was actually legal here.)
'mm... just. the beach, i like it here, you know?' she almost wants to say more, but kibum and jonghyun come barrelling up the beach toward them laughing like lunatics. jinki just gives jessica a look that plainly says you don't wanna know.
+
they watch the sunrise together the next morning--jessica and jinki--and there's something about the way the glow of the sun reflects off the water, showering jinki in all sorts of pretty colours, that makes her think.
and not just think, but think. and it's weird because romance--crushes, love, whatever--don't belong anywhere in her routine, but to hell with routine, she thinks.
she's at a beach with three guys she's known for maybe a month, so she's not even sure she has a routine anymore.
apparently jinki's not expecting it when she leans over to give him a quick peck on the lips, short and barely-there, but enough to draw a surprised yelp from him. jessica can't help but grin.
+
'you two need to hurry up and fuck already. this is getting awkward,' kibum says loudly, taking a swig of his beer (yet another thing which surprises jessica; she pictured him as a fruity-drink sort of guy). jessica casts a sideways glance at jinki, smirking a little at the blush creeping up on his cheeks as he pretends to be very interested in the sand he's running through his fingers.
+
when jessica asks jinki how long they're staying at the beach, he replies with: 'forever, i hope.' and she's not quite sure what to make of it.
after the fourth day, they fall into the habit of watching the sunset together from one of the sand dunes a little ways up the beach. it's a small comfort, she thinks, to see the first colours of daybreak brought into the world. it almost gives her hope.
+
on the sixth day, jinki kisses jessica, and it's sweet and awkward, and it almost feels like teenage love--aided by jonghyun's howling and making kissy faces at them, and kibum's grumbling that they 'didn't mack on sooner.'
+
it's a few days later, that jinki and jessica have joined their sleeping bags together to share, and somehow it seems as big a deal as if they had decided to live together.
and in the morning when kibum is hissing at them to wake up because they were going home, jinki laughs and flings the keys at him.
'take the car. don't let jonghyun drive.' key just gapes at them for a little while before mock-saluting and walking away.
there's a few moments of silence before it dawns on jessica, 'wait, how are we getting home?'
jinki laughs. 'train, bus, however. we could fly for all i care. or we could just not go back.'
(they do go back eventually, and jessica ends up moving in with jinki--and jonghyun and kibum--a few weeks later, routine be damned. it's reckless and stupid and they're moving way too fast, but there's a certain colour to her life that was missing before, and somehow it doesn't seem quite so bad.
looking out over the city now, jessica sees colours. billboards, cars, neon signs--and it's almost saddening, to think she'd been missing out for so long.)
~
a/n: huzzah for endings that aren't endings! i sort of just gave up on this. .-.
i think it's probably the worst fic i have ever posted.
onsica, hinted!jongkey. romance, fluff, fail. 1822 words. au. pg-13.
jinki brings a whole new colour to jessica's world.
notes: for eesor . happy birthday bb. ilu. ♥ i'm sorry it's kind of crappy, and yes, i still owe you that happy!onsica fic (one that's not crappy) but yeah. i felt bad for not being able to talk to you all day. ♥ idek if it's still your birthday. it probably isn't 'cause it's almost 3 AM here. :C
um. it's all in lapslock and there's probably a million typos because i'm exhausted and this was written pretty much on a whim. sort of~
The silence depressed me. It wasn’t the silence of silence. It was my own silence. I knew perfectly well the cars were making a noise, and the people in them and behind the lit windows of the buildings were making a noise, and the river was making a noise, but I couldn’t hear a thing. The city hung in my window, flat as a poster, glittering and blinking, but it might just as well not have been there at all, for the good it did me.
- The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
a sigh slipped through pale lips, eyes glazed as she cast her vision across the city outside. seoul, a city that deserved the title of "the city that never sleeps" far more than new york ever would, but all she ever felt was loneliness.
surrounded by people--walking, talking, eating, crying--and she was alone. it seemed strange to be alone in such a busy city, something not quite fitting right with the idea.
but here she was, alone, in a city of millions.
+
the streets were crowded, people headed in every direction, most likely on their way to work.
jessica paid no mind to the people, drowning herself in her headphones, eyes on the pavement as she walked. it was overcast; the sky dark and foreboding, perfectly matching the shades of grey jessica saw all around. it was rather befitting to her mood as of late, she thought, smiling to herself slightly as she made her way down the stairs to the subway platform.
+
everything in her life was routine; organised. it wasn't just that she worked at the same time every day, and left at the same time every day after doing the same thing she did every other damn day, but there was no excitement. no spur-of-the-moment happenings to splash a little colour back into her life (save maybe the occasional run-in with a moving vehicle, and lengthy phone conversations with her mother).
it was pancakes for breakfast, skipping lunch in favour of a cigarette break, and instant ramen for dinner.
+
it was a tuesday morning, if she remembers correctly. she'd only been at work for all of maybe an hour, but her boss called her into his office. the sinking feeling that had been sitting in the pit of her stomach only seemed to grow as she made her way past the office cubicles to the elevator. she took a few deep breaths and adjusted her dress as she waited for the doors to slide open.
+
'please don't misunderstand--you're not being fired, just... put on unpaid vacation for a little while.'
the sinking feeling--dread--sat heavy in her stomach as she finished up work for the day, having been told she could leave at lunch time. it was a strange feeling. it wasn't just that she was now unemployed for almost eight months, but it was different. and different mean disorganisation, a spanner in the works.
to hell with it, she thought. what better way to forget about having no income for a while than by wasting her money at a club? and if she were lucky, she'd pick up some nice, sleazy guy along the way.
+
jessica runs into a problem (some time between the subway station and her apartment) when she remembers that, not only does she no longer own appropriate clubbing clothes, but she doesn't even know where the popular clubs are anymore. they'd slipped through the cracks of her mundane life, somewhere along with the contact she kept with old college friends.
she's frustrated and angry by this time, kicking the light post she was standing next to just for some sort of outlet. she stops suddenly when she feels a hand on her shoulder, panicking for a second.
'hey, hey, hey. you're going to ruin those pretty shoes.'
jessica turns on her heel, glaring daggers at the stranger. his smile faltered for a second, but it was back as quickly as it had disappeared.
'considering i've just saved you from ruining what looks like a 200,000 won pair of shoes, let me buy you a coffee or something.' jessica doesn't even bother to point out that his offer doesn't really make much sense to her, but she shrugs and says okay anyway.
+
they don't end up going to a cafe, as jessica thought they would have but instead head back to his apartment.
(he turns out to still be in college--a fact which surprises her--studying to become a psychologist.)
'it's closer, really, and kibum makes the most amazing coffee,' he says, nodding enthusiastically. her glare is long gone, finding his smile rather catching.
jessica just smiles and stands to the side awkwardly, ignoring the side-glances she's recieving from the one who was introduced as kibum, and the cat calls from the one who boldly introduced himself as jonghyun.
+
'you never told me your name.'
they're sitting on his bed now, sipping at their (amazing, as promised) coffee and it all seems awfully juvenile, despite the fact that they're both adults.
'jinki,' he says, holding out his spare hand for her to shake.
'suyeon--well, i usually go by jessica.' he laughs at this.
'well, suyeon, jessica, depending on which name you go by, we could start a club--' she quirks her eyebrow at him. 'for people whose names start with j, of course!'
'you'd better include me in this!' they hear from outside the door, and jessica looks at jinki incredulously for a second, before laughing harder than she'd laughed in years. jinki thinks maybe he should explain that jonghyun was probably outside eavesdropping on their every word, but he doesn't see it necessary in the end.
when jessica leaves, it's to promises of meeting again and jonghyun's shout of: 'dude, you got her in your bed and it wasn't even a date!' and after, 'no no, i didn't mean it like that!'
+
jessica soon discovers that there's a little more colour in her life lately, light pastels working their ways in from the edges of what was once grey. it's nice, she thinks.
but the city seemed just as lonely as it had always been. the loneliness lingered, and it didn't take long for her to fall into a new routine--wake up, eat breakfast, text jinki, sleep again, eat dinner, go to bed. rinse and repeat--plus the occasional outing with jinki, key, and jonghyun.
+
before long, jinki calls jessica up to tell him that they're on break from college for a few weeks and that they would very much like for her to accompany them on a trip to 'the beach--somewhere down past busan.'
(when jessica asks 'which beach?' jinki replies with: 'whichever we decide to go to.')
something in her said to say no, that it wasn't part of the routine, but another part said yes, yes, yes--vivid colours and sunlight and everything she wanted from the city, but couldn't find.
'okay, when are we leaving?' she jots down the details and tells jinki she'll see him in the morning, seven o'clock.
+
jessica oversleeps and ends up answering the door in her pyjamas, hair tied in a messy ponytail, much to the amusement of the two boys in the back seat of jinki's car.
it's soon forgotten when they're in the car, radio up, singing along to whatever song happens to be playing.
there's a little more colour around the edges today, she thinks.
+
there's something about the beach that jessica has always liked. sure, the sand made her itchy and the salty water caused her hair to frizz like mad, but she didn't mind.
jessica thinks maybe she should move to the beach. it's late at night, and they'd only been there for a day, but that rebellious part of her mind had been right. here, everything was bright and vivid, as though someone had changed all the settings and suddenly the saturation and contrast were turned up to full.
'whatcha thinkin' about?' jinki asks, opting to lie on top of his sleeping bag instead of inside it. (they were camping on the beach because, not only was it free, but it was actually legal here.)
'mm... just. the beach, i like it here, you know?' she almost wants to say more, but kibum and jonghyun come barrelling up the beach toward them laughing like lunatics. jinki just gives jessica a look that plainly says you don't wanna know.
+
they watch the sunrise together the next morning--jessica and jinki--and there's something about the way the glow of the sun reflects off the water, showering jinki in all sorts of pretty colours, that makes her think.
and not just think, but think. and it's weird because romance--crushes, love, whatever--don't belong anywhere in her routine, but to hell with routine, she thinks.
she's at a beach with three guys she's known for maybe a month, so she's not even sure she has a routine anymore.
apparently jinki's not expecting it when she leans over to give him a quick peck on the lips, short and barely-there, but enough to draw a surprised yelp from him. jessica can't help but grin.
+
'you two need to hurry up and fuck already. this is getting awkward,' kibum says loudly, taking a swig of his beer (yet another thing which surprises jessica; she pictured him as a fruity-drink sort of guy). jessica casts a sideways glance at jinki, smirking a little at the blush creeping up on his cheeks as he pretends to be very interested in the sand he's running through his fingers.
+
when jessica asks jinki how long they're staying at the beach, he replies with: 'forever, i hope.' and she's not quite sure what to make of it.
after the fourth day, they fall into the habit of watching the sunset together from one of the sand dunes a little ways up the beach. it's a small comfort, she thinks, to see the first colours of daybreak brought into the world. it almost gives her hope.
+
on the sixth day, jinki kisses jessica, and it's sweet and awkward, and it almost feels like teenage love--aided by jonghyun's howling and making kissy faces at them, and kibum's grumbling that they 'didn't mack on sooner.'
+
it's a few days later, that jinki and jessica have joined their sleeping bags together to share, and somehow it seems as big a deal as if they had decided to live together.
and in the morning when kibum is hissing at them to wake up because they were going home, jinki laughs and flings the keys at him.
'take the car. don't let jonghyun drive.' key just gapes at them for a little while before mock-saluting and walking away.
there's a few moments of silence before it dawns on jessica, 'wait, how are we getting home?'
jinki laughs. 'train, bus, however. we could fly for all i care. or we could just not go back.'
(they do go back eventually, and jessica ends up moving in with jinki--and jonghyun and kibum--a few weeks later, routine be damned. it's reckless and stupid and they're moving way too fast, but there's a certain colour to her life that was missing before, and somehow it doesn't seem quite so bad.
looking out over the city now, jessica sees colours. billboards, cars, neon signs--and it's almost saddening, to think she'd been missing out for so long.)
~
a/n: huzzah for endings that aren't endings! i sort of just gave up on this. .-.
i think it's probably the worst fic i have ever posted.