Life as you live it!

[purple_86]

Right now I am lost at how to feel, why does life have to through loops at me. I am trying to be as strong as I can...But my heart can only take so much. I don't think I realized that I cared so much for this individual as I do. I am trying to be responsible and realize what we have decided is the right thing but I can't convince my heart...but I can try to trick my mind.

I am trying to be caring and realize what is possible and what isn't. The last few days I have been filled with so much emotion...it has been hard to bottle in. I usually am quite talkative with this individual but when we decided that we should just be friends my heart was beating a million miles a minute and I could barely talk.

I want to give andrew what he deserves and I am not sure at this point in my life I can do it from 500 miles away!! I want to but is it physically possible at this point!! I want it to be...

I want him to be happy and I think that what he could have at MMA would...but I have put so much of myself and my love toward this man..I am just uncertain of how I can stay emotionless if he decides to come up. I am lost right now and am trying to find my way...I'm trying to do the best I can...

A wandering soul...